In a tough spot... Advice needed

You don't seem to be understanding what I am saying.

 The only way to ensure that violence is the last option (not your third strike rule) is to take it off the table. Eject it from your brain. Ensure that it is not even there. You cannot even be thinking about it.

 Having a three strike rule means you are preparing for a fight.

 Believing that you have a right to defend yourself means you are preparing for a fight.

 As I said, it's not fair to call the last option an option if it really is the last one. Then it's just the way.

To ensure its the last option, I have to erase it as an option? This is your logic?

This is not the only way to ensure violence is the last option. I offer myself as living proof. I have actually waited until someone tackled me to the ground. Are you saying that fighting should have been erased from my mind? If I hadn't set a limit, and used your logic, I might have ended up in the hospital.

Without establishing what's "acceptable" and what isn't, as far as defending yourself, you might as well just lay down take it.

I understand what you're saying, but in order for it to be an option it has to be on your mind. Otherwise it would be some sort of arbitrary action. On top of that, you're telling a martial artist to not think about defending himself when someone starts physically assaulting him. That's not going to happen

I wasn't saying take her back. I was saying don't make things worse than try already are

How did you end up in a situation where someone football tackled you to the ground?

 A random stranger ran up behind you with out knowing you or without you seeing I assume?

It was actually a friend of mine a while back. We had a disagreement, and he wanted to fight. I tried walking away and calming him down, but he wouldn't stop. The guy tackled me, and started going at my face, and I had to defend myself. It was either protect myself, or potentially end up in the hospital. As soon as he started submitting, I backed off and apologized. I felt bad, but hey, it's a scary thing when your brain is telling you "Hey, if you don't fight back, you might not come out of this."

I'm very passive, and I'm big in general, and try to be friendly, so I almost never get into a fight, I only would if someone were to actually come at me, I'd never go at them, but take a swing at me and see just how aggressive I can be.

I'm very passive, and I'm big in general, and try to be friendly, so I almost never get into a fight, I only would if someone were to actually come at me, I'd never go at them, but take a swing at me and see just how aggressive I can be.

We seem to agree on one thing. Never thought I'd say that.

Instead of going into something prepared to fight, rather just be aware beforehand of fight or flight; it is overt behavior that is instintanous, and without thought.

You don't seem to be understanding what I am saying.

 The only way to ensure that violence is the last option (not your third strike rule) is to take it off the table. Eject it from your brain. Ensure that it is not even there. You cannot even be thinking about it.

 Having a three strike rule means you are preparing for a fight.

 Believing that you have a right to defend yourself means you are preparing for a fight.

 As I said, it's not fair to call the last option an option if it really is the last one. Then it's just the way.

Youre basically saying be ignorant of the fact that nt everyone is against fighting.. Is how im interpretting your statement. Be willfully ignorant of facts of life. People will get physical, if its possible youll get punched, you SHOULD be ready for a fight... Why would you let him take you by surprise and pulverize you? Thats an awful idea..

Personally I'm completely against violence. I've never understood the need for it. Ever. But can I fight? Yes. I'm a rather skinny individual so people have pushed me and such but I have prepared myself for if anyone ever throws a punch. My brother was in wrestling and such and taught me ways to avoid getting struck. Do I ever want to have to put someone in a Russian arm bar? No. But it's better to be prepared than if the fight escalates you have no idea how to make it end with or without force. I think it was great you walked away instead of putting him flat on his ass. But should someone know how to defend themselves should it come to that? Absolutely.
I have always wanted to learn things such as judo where you don't ever have to strike someone to defend yourself. Simply so I Can defend myself. I don't ever want to defend myself but it's nice knowing i can feel safe. Right?

I agree that walking away is the best course of action you had. That being said I would have to respectfully disagree with kanga. I'm 24 years old and I've been in numerous fights. Each one involved me tryin to physically walk away. When the aggressor makes it known that walking away isn't going to solve the issue I believe 100% that you should be prepared to defend yourself. I've never thrown the first swing in a fight, yet I've never lost a fight. I've always been able to keep a cool head and in doing so it gave me an advantage. It also makes it easy for me to stop. I'm not one to pummel someone regardless of whether they instigated to fight or not. I get where your coming from kanga but let me ask you this, have you ever been attacked by a person who isn't in control of their own emotions? If you have and you followed what your previous posts state then I guarantee you most likely ended up in the hospital. Most people lose it in a fight and go somewhat crazy...which is why you see so many fights end with one person being dragged off the other.

Another thing. I was in a confrontation a few years ago where I was assaulted by two guys (whom I didn't know and they apparently thought I was someone else). They tried to tackle me from behind but instead of taking me to the ground they slammed me into my car. When I got out of the tacklers grip I turned around to see who I was facing and before I even saw a face I was getting hit. So I did what any rational human being would do. I defended myself. Long story short I knocked the one guy out and had the other one pinned to the ground. Thankfully the store clerk saw the whole thing happen and had called the police when it first started. When the police arrived they searched the two guys and found a knife on each of them. Now my question is kanga did I do the right thing or should I have let them pummel me and possibly stab me to death because fighting isn't an option? I ended up with a broken nose a few fractured ribs and a fractured wrist but the outcome could've been much worse had i just layed down and taken the beating. The simple sad fact of life is that fighting can't always be avoided.

It may be just me, but im not gonna say that i wouldnt retaliate. I would have beat the living hell out of that little .love.er

You are better off without the cheating pirate-hooker. What is there to fight about? Keep your chin up and smile about the fact that she blew her ONLY chance with you and you deserve better. Good for you for walking away. What he was doing was all show. If he wanted to fight he'd have hit you. But again, who in their right mind would fight over a cheating pirate-hooker? Save your aggression for fighting the good fight. You did the right thing. Now allow yourself to move on.

I've only been in one fight my entir life.... I left a... Lasting reputation... If you ever fight, make sure that no one is ever going to want to fight  you ever again. I'd recommend systema

One benefit if being a tall guy is it dissuaded a lot of altercations😀. More effective than that, I believe, is preempting the need for confrontation. For instance, I don't head out to the bar during rodeo days (or at all, actually), I treat potentially violent folks with guarded kindness, and I do whatever it takes to diffuse a situation. Most angry people simply want someone to validate their fruatration and letting them say their piece empties their drive for violence. If someone's going to get hurt, I am glad to step in and use force to prevent harm. That's the only time though.