In a tough spot... Advice needed

Okay so it's been about 2 months since I left my cheating girlfriend, well I found out last week that the whole 22 months she was sleeping with this guy, and yes ill admit, I told a couple of people and it spread like wildfire at my school, well she had 2 of her friends message me telling me to stop spreading it, well I replied "if she has a problem, she can talk to me and not hide like the...." And it got pretty nasty, well today as I got off the bus, her new boyfriend (the guy she cheated on me with) and his friend were there waiting for me. He was shoving me and trying to get me to hit him, well I walked away... I left, I'm not the most muscular guy in the world but he is half my size, height and weight. Did I do the right thing or should I have kicked his butt?

You did the right thing. Kicking the .poo. out of a guy half your size doesn't make you strong or tough or whatever. Even if he was urging you to do it.  I believe that if he was truly pissed about it, you wouldn't be the one to have to start the fight. He's just trying to make himself look stronger.  I'm a naturally non-violent person, and I really don't understand all the violence and the need to physically fight. I've always found that it is just better to ignore 'em.

And besides, how can she say you're the one starting things if she cheated on you for that long?  I hate that.  Someone does something like that, then gets pissed and tries to get the other person beat up for something of much less impact.

I figure I have the right to tell people that she cheated, she did it after all...

I figure I have the right to tell people that she cheated, she did it after all...

I'd feel the same way!  If she didn't want to own up to it, she shouldn't have done it! 

Quote from: Missingkirby34 on May 03, 2013, 05:02:03 PM

I figure I have the right to tell people that she cheated, she did it after all...

I'd feel the same way!  If she didn't want to own up to it, she shouldn't have done it!

Amen! And the best part was I had a 5 pound ceramic project in my hand

Great choice not to beat him up!

Hes trying to either a) satisfy his napolean complex or b) get you to swing first and thus get you in trouble. Either way, push him off you and continue on your way, dont fight unless provoked(as in you are physically threatened). People like that will just get hit to sue your ass, make sure hes threatened you. Let him swing, block it, and jaw him if anything.

I found out last week that the whole 22 months she was sleeping with this guy

Are you sure?

I'm very passive aggressive, I'll only fight someone if they hit me (or attempt to hit me) first, or if I'm in a dangerous situation. I was raised that way. I honestly think you did the right thing, especially if he's smaller than you. Let the duo be stupid. Sure you may have told a few people about her bad choices, but she honestly provoked that by doing what she did. Don't sweat it.

You definitely did the right thing in walking away, I'm proud if you for it.

I've been there, being cheated on sucks the big one, and I understand how high the emotions get strung. You did well in controlling yourself.

Yah, you did the right thing by walking away. Getting hit in the face sucks so bad, and fighting her now boyfriend shows that you still have feelings for her. Don't give her that.

I've been in a handful of scuffles in my younger days. Looking back on it, it was all stupid and trivial. I don't put myself in those situations anymore, and if it does happen, I know how to walk away.

I was punched in the face before not because of anything like this, but because he hated me in general, and people were asking me why I didn't fight back, not fighting is a good option. It might hurt you, but it will show that they're scared of you

Stay Pacifist (someone had to)

Quote from: Missingkirby34 on May 03, 2013, 04:52:47 PM

I found out last week that the whole 22 months she was sleeping with this guy

Are you sure?

Whether or not your evidence is concrete you should stop the letting everyone know. That shame will not only follow her, but may linger on you if you hold onto it. It will seem petty after a certain point.

You did the right thing, they sound like awful people who are going to cheat on one another. Let karma give them theirs.

Plenty of people out there for you to seek connection with over your life

I think you did the right thing by not fighting.  Situations like these can get way out of hand really fast, so choosing to break the cycle is often the best course of action.  That being said, going forward, I think you probably should stop talking about this girl to other people.  It does nothing to ease your pain; in fact, quite the opposite.  The longer you involve yourself with this girl and the people around her, the longer it will take to separate yourself from the situation.  I mean, if you have a buddy that says he's in love with her you can discuss what happened to you and explain why she might now be the best girl for someone looking for a relationship, but there's no reason to "spread" the story, if that is indeed what you're doing.

Sorry man, relationships can be the best thing in the world, but they can be the worst too.  I hope it all works out for you man!

Thanks! All I was doing was venting to some of my friends about her and someone else must have heard and spread it around. I also... As big a douche bag her new guy is, don't think that he, or anyone ever deserves to feel the same way I felt after I found out, being cheated on sucks.