Say bad jokes about smart subjects. Like this.
Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "get out! We don't serve noble gases here!". Argon doesn't react.
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar , the minister ducks.
Quote from: Rass on April 21, 2014, 08:53:29 PM
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar , the minister ducks.
Face psalm (http://images.cryhavok.org/v/Facepsalm.jpg.html)
Its intellectual bad jokes, not just bad jokes xD
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9...
Why is six afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a six offender.
I told a chemistry joke...
But there was no reaction.
Ok, here's a math joke: 1+2+3+4+5...=-1/12
Quote from: IceScythe on April 22, 2014, 01:34:38 AM
I told a chemistry joke...
But there was no reaction.
Ok, here's a math joke: 1+2+3+4+5...=-1/12
Ha.
Two atoms walk into a bar...
"Dammit I think I left an electron behind in the last place".
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive".
Quote from: PapaBudz on April 22, 2014, 01:43:55 AM
Quote from: IceScythe on April 22, 2014, 01:34:38 AM
I told a chemistry joke...
But there was no reaction.
Ok, here's a math joke: 1+2+3+4+5...=-1/12
Ha.
aaaaaaaaaay.
Ok, so
Why are all my chemistry jokes so bad?
All the good ones argon.
Also,
Pessimist: the glass is half empty
Optimist: the glass is half full
Realist: half the glass contains water
Scientist: the glass is full
Quote from: IceScythe on April 22, 2014, 01:34:38 AM
I told a chemistry joke...
But there was no reaction.
Ok, here's a math joke: 1+2+3+4+5...=-1/12
I... I dont get the math joke :(
Here's another math joke:
Common Core
Quote from: MisterJH on April 22, 2014, 09:13:08 AM
Quote from: IceScythe on April 22, 2014, 01:34:38 AM
I told a chemistry joke...
But there was no reaction.
Ok, here's a math joke: 1+2+3+4+5...=-1/12
I... I dont get the math joke :(
Not necessarily a joke, but some people used string theory to prove that 1+2+3+4+...etc all the way to infinity would = -1/12. It's actually kind of interesting though hard to understand how all positive numbers added together could equal a negative... Anywho I'm rambling...
A scientist walks into a bar and says, "I'll have an H2O."
The guy sitting next to him asks for an H2O too... he died.
Quote from: Anoobass on April 22, 2014, 11:14:33 AM
Quote from: MisterJH on April 22, 2014, 09:13:08 AM
Quote from: IceScythe on April 22, 2014, 01:34:38 AM
I told a chemistry joke...
But there was no reaction.
Ok, here's a math joke: 1+2+3+4+5...=-1/12
I... I dont get the math joke :(
Not necessarily a joke, but some people used string theory to prove that 1+2+3+4+...etc all the way to infinity would = -1/12. It's actually kind of interesting though hard to understand how all positive numbers added together could equal a negative... Anywho I'm rambling...
A scientist walks into a bar and says, "I'll have an H2O."
The guy sitting next to him asks for an H2O too... he died.
its funny because its untrue unless you honestly think 1-1+1-1+1-1+1...=.5, which it doesn't; it equals either 0 or 1.
So far that makes literally not a darn lick of sense
A Roman walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a martinus, please." The bartender says, "You mean a martini?" The Roman replies, "If I wanted double, I would've asked for it!"
No if you go to infinity it doesnt equal anything theres no end, that makes no sense..
No and im not interested in them it sounds like a retarted theory to begin with
Back to jokes sorry!
1-1+1.. To infinity cant physically equal .5
So yes i can, its dumb
But in reality(not trying to be philosophical) its either on or off. Even in the midst of switching it on its off until such time as its on. Sure it makes sense if you ignore reality. Like if you think being between the state of 0 or 1(the only 2 possibilities) you must be at .5, when its not on a gradient or scale. Its addition of a single whole number not fractions. Same with te light switch, if its either on or off(only two possibilities) then thats what it is, on or off. Sure if you get trapped up in your head and overthink it and get all philosophical you can convince yourself that at some point into infinity 0+1=.5 but what id say to you is you smoke a little too much weed. But thats just my views on all these theories that i think are silly and kind of a waste of time. But to each there own, regardless i dont think its worth my time.
Guys the frickle frackle this is not a joke
So taysby and misterjh walk into a bar in heated argument about all manners of ridiculous .poo... Its a joke in and of itself! But i digress, threadjacking complete
The woman who discovered radiation died of radiation poisoning. THE MORE YOU KNOW!
...
No, really?
Quote from: IceScythe on April 22, 2014, 10:39:07 PM
The woman who discovered radiation died of radiation poisoning. THE MORE YOU KNOW!
That would be Madam Curie, with Radium, of all things
How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Zero, it already contains the seeds of its own revolution.
A Vulture walks in to an airplane carrying two dead weasels. The stewardess looks at him and says, "sir, I cannot let you board this plane, we have one strict rule: only 1 carrion per passenger."
What do you get when you cross a Mountain Climber with a mosquito? Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scalar.
#suchbadphysicsjoke
Quote from: Mozilla butcher on April 22, 2014, 11:51:26 PM
Quote from: IceScythe on April 22, 2014, 10:39:07 PM
The woman who discovered radiation died of radiation poisoning. THE MORE YOU KNOW!
That would be Madam Curie, with Radium, of all things
And to this day, even the papers she wrote in 1890s, are too radioactive to handle without special equipment.
Beware of quantum ducks. Quark quark.
I laughed so hard when I read that
Why are vanpires better than werewolves? They can use their powers to kill people and wear a nike shirt that says swag on it at the same time
I think it was about quantum ducks
Anyone else have any? These are funny! :)
Quote from: E.kann1 on April 29, 2014, 10:19:06 PM
Anyone else have any? These are funny! :)
It's not really an intellectual joke.... It's more just a nerd pickup line that my husband tried on me.... Here goes
Hey girl, you're hotter than the bottom of my laptop ;)
Quote from: Sparkle Ninja on April 30, 2014, 12:26:35 AM
Quote from: E.kann1 on April 29, 2014, 10:19:06 PM
Anyone else have any? These are funny! :)
It's not really an intellectual joke.... It's more just a nerd pickup line that my husband tried on me.... Here goes
Hey girl, you're hotter than the bottom of my laptop ;)
hey girl, you're hotter than my render farm at 10000 samples!
NaCl walking down the street with a loaded .45, that's a salt with a deadly weapon
Billy was a chemist's sun but Billy is no more. For what Billy thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Quote from: Redrighthand on June 11, 2014, 11:51:20 PM
Billy was a chemist's sun but Billy is no more. For what Billy thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Heard that before as:
Little Johnny took a drink but he will drink no more, for what he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
*sarcasm mode activated*
So, you guys hear about that deadly dihydrogen monoxide? That stuff should be illegal!
I know right? I mean they recently discovered that everyone who has ever died had it in their system at the time!! Coincidence? I think not!
Yeah! And they are saying it could be in your shower or your sink or even your swimming pool!
It's also a major component of acid rain!
They also said that we may not notice it but it has been in side of our bodies since we were born, it has been flowing through us it uses our energy, how dreadful
What do you call a band of rabbits marching backwards?
A receding hareline!
Quote from: IceScythe on April 22, 2014, 11:20:54 AM
Quote from: Anoobass on April 22, 2014, 11:14:33 AM
Quote from: MisterJH on April 22, 2014, 09:13:08 AM
Quote from: IceScythe on April 22, 2014, 01:34:38 AM
I told a chemistry joke...
But there was no reaction.
Ok, here's a math joke: 1+2+3+4+5...=-1/12
I... I dont get the math joke :(
Not necessarily a joke, but some people used string theory to prove that 1+2+3+4+...etc all the way to infinity would = -1/12. It's actually kind of interesting though hard to understand how all positive numbers added together could equal a negative... Anywho I'm rambling...
A scientist walks into a bar and says, "I'll have an H2O."
The guy sitting next to him asks for an H2O too... he died.
its funny because its untrue unless you honestly think 1-1+1-1+1-1+1...=.5, which it doesn't; it equals either 0 or 1.
Or 1/2
Quote from: Taysby on June 23, 2014, 11:24:19 PM
If you go to infinity, it does, if you stop any any point, it doesn't.
But if you're going to infinity the end result should be infinity. As you said, if you stop it changes, but if you don't stop it's infinity. (Hence the definition of infinity) I still can't wrap my head around why they decide to average numbers when they're adding. I find theories with no real practical use annoying as they're confusing and pointless. At no point will somebody give me infinite apples and I'll end up with .5
Quote from: Taysby on June 24, 2014, 02:11:15 PM
100 years ago, people couldn't wrap their head around humans landing on the moon.
That's a lot more practical than figuring out how infinite apples will cause me to have .5 ;)
Sorry. Is that equation trying to tell me if somebody gives me infinite apples I'll have -1/12 at one point? Cause that's even more ridiculous. xD Still doesn't make sense that they're averaging addition.
Quote from: Teysa karlov on June 23, 2014, 09:20:18 AM
Quote from: IceScythe on April 22, 2014, 11:20:54 AM
Quote from: Anoobass on April 22, 2014, 11:14:33 AM
Quote from: MisterJH on April 22, 2014, 09:13:08 AM
Quote from: IceScythe on April 22, 2014, 01:34:38 AM
I told a chemistry joke...
But there was no reaction.
Ok, here's a math joke: 1+2+3+4+5...=-1/12
I... I dont get the math joke :(
Not necessarily a joke, but some people used string theory to prove that 1+2+3+4+...etc all the way to infinity would = -1/12. It's actually kind of interesting though hard to understand how all positive numbers added together could equal a negative... Anywho I'm rambling...
A scientist walks into a bar and says, "I'll have an H2O."
The guy sitting next to him asks for an H2O too... he died.
its funny because its untrue unless you honestly think 1-1+1-1+1-1+1...=.5, which it doesn't; it equals either 0 or 1.
Or 1/2
It's called Grandi's Series (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandi's_series)
Also 1/2 is it's Cesaro Sum (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ces%C3%A0ro_summation)
I heard that oxygen and magnesium were going out and I was like, O Mg
Quote from: Redrighthand on July 04, 2014, 10:39:40 AM
I heard that oxygen and magnesium were going out and I was like, O Mg
When Nitrogen heard about that he Said NO
Two scientists walk in to a bar after work
The first says I'll have a glass of h2o
The second says I'll have a glass of water as well there is no need to make things so difficult after a long day at work
The first hangs his head in shame as his assassination attempt had failed
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are hanging out one day. Einstein says, "let's play tag! I'll be it! 1, 2, 3...". Pascal runs away to find a place to hide, but Newton only pulls out a piece of chalk and draws a square on the ground. Right as Einstein finishes counting and says, "Ready or not, here I come!" Newton walks into his square. Einstein opens his eyes and say "I found you, Newton!" and Newton says, "No, you found one newton per square meter. You found pascal!"