Advice on grief

[Kaylesh]

I'm almost reluctant to bring this up while the forum buzzes in the happy spirit of LGs marriage, but I still hope you can help me out a bit.
Thing is: 5 years ago, New Year's Eve 2010, a friend of me died in a car accident. This was a turning point in my life, I never really got around to dealing with it, so I was advised trauma therapy. Now they did something called emdr, and the grief is fully back to deal with. I've got a feeling of a big lump in my chest.
Nothing out of the ordinary. But here's the thing. It feels like it's stuck, attached with little hooks.
Anyone got any suggestions on how to start dealing, so the lump can shrink?

[particle]

Maybe a normal therapist?

[Kaylesh]

Tx man

[Kaylesh]

I had a close friend of mine die when walking home one night after getting hit from a drunk driver. I could have given him a ride home and I didn' because I was being selfish and I was too tired. It really sucks being in this situatuon.

That's really nasty. I can not even get as close to that. He was lighting fireworks when a driver decided it would be fun knocking it over. Never saw him. Really case of bad luck it is said. Wasn't there at the time, nothing I could have done. What complicates matters is that it turned my life upside down really. Had to go on sick leave, got diagnosed with ASS, lost my job altogether, and sitting home trying to come to terms with my 'new' self. Spoke a councillor today, because I was in really bad shape, she told me it was no wonder it was so huge for me.