Pouring Out My Soul

LinkCelestrial · June 03, 2015, 01:08:07 AM

I wish it was that simple. I don't have the control over my own life to do that.

Kaylesh · June 03, 2015, 06:14:19 AM

Shucks man. Don't you hate it when you try to accomplish something after slacking for a while, then everyone brings you down saying like, you didn't do it before so you won't do it now.....
Ppl should learn to see the positive, that would help so much in changing things around.
Because now they wanna send you on a road that will give even more delays?

LinkCelestrial · June 03, 2015, 03:06:14 PM

I know right? Part of me wants to just fail it because I'm sick of trying to prove them wrong.

Kaylesh · June 05, 2015, 06:50:47 AM

Quote from: LinkCelestrial on June 03, 2015, 03:06:14 PM
I know right? Part of me wants to just fail it because I'm sick of trying to prove them wrong.

Don't give them the satisfaction is what I'd want to say if it wasn't such a terrible cliché.

LinkCelestrial · June 05, 2015, 02:51:11 PM

Well. I've been given an ultimatum. Go to school next year or pay rent. I can't afford rent, I don't even have a job! This isn't an option it's them getting their way without "forcing" me to. So I'm going to public school next year. .love..

My mother also decides to confiscate my iPod right before bible study and tell me we need to talk, but not now i have to go. So I spend the next hour and a half worrying (mostly because of severe trust issues but that's a different story), get home and they're watching TV. When their show is finally over they talk to me. About how I spend too much time on my computer. Well excuse me but I can only do my schoolwork /on my computer/. But no all I do is play video games. So now I get one hour of computer "free time" a day. .love. this .poo.. I've been through this song and dance a hundred times. They have such bias against me playing video games for 2-3 hours a day when they .loving. watch TV from when they get home till bed time. But no /that's/ fine. All I get is .poo. for what I like to do because it's not something they approve of. There's no reasoning with them so all I can do is what they want.

Besides all this, what else am I supposed to do with my free time? Me playing video games is actually semi-social as I've been playing with IRL friends and communicating via a comm program. It's a helluvalot better for me than watching TV. They just don't like what I'm doing so they restrict the .poo. out of it.

How about I bring up my sister who has been doing jack .poo. for the past few months under the pretence of looking for a job? I'm not one to throw others under the bus but all she does is watch shows on her laptop and blast shitty rap music. Has she gotten any .poo. for it? No.

I guess the good news is that instead of getting sad and depressed I'm mostly just pissed off.

Aladormax · June 05, 2015, 05:56:51 PM

Good, good feel the anger, channel it, use it to prove them wrong. While they seem to have some excess dislike about video games, I see that the reasoning is flawed. If what you say is 100% true, and I have no reason to believe other wise, than the punishment is unwarranted. Homework comes first obviously, but all work and no play makes link a dull person. I also suggest that you get a job part time at a restaurant or in a retail situation you can stand. This proves maturity, eats free time, and also gives you more spending monies on the cards you love. I understand that the timing may be difficult, but if you continue with working hard it can pay off huge.

In regards to the public school thing, look for a tech or magnet school in the area to attend as a reasonable alternative. It will be "public school" only in name. Also If you try to give a polite well thought out solution it may help.

MommaB · June 05, 2015, 11:48:05 PM

Completely agree with the tech school sinerio, it'll allow you find a passion to channel any from of aggression, resentment, thoughts, feelings etc into.

And this is rough situation your in, love in yourself is the key.... While things put u down and a inevitable loop seems to spiral uncontrollably, there is always a end to a loop no matter the farest sight, it's visibal! Life has a funny way of working out(ciche as hell lol). But seriously the only one too let you go in a hole is you and that's basically saying keep your head up, and karma will empower you

LinkCelestrial · June 06, 2015, 01:57:23 PM

I live in a small town and getting a job here is hard. I've been trying for a while now.

There are no options to what school I go to. I wish there were.

LinkCelestrial · June 12, 2015, 01:59:18 PM

I understand what you're saying and I take no offence. In fact I thank you for your input.

I have no idea where I see myself in 5-10 years. In a perfect world I'd be releasing my 2nd/3rd book and starting on another. My parents want me finishing up Mechanical Engineering and starting up work. I hope I find something to pay the bills while I start writing.

I understand what you're saying. Life starts soon and I could be ready and make it easy for myself but right now I'm not. So I'm working on it. This is a perspective that I actually find helpful. Thank you.

Being as I'm getting forced into public school next year I'll have an opportunity to take Work Experience in which case I'll be able to get my foot in the door job wise. That's the plan.