The Next Poster

[LinkCelestrial]

How does this work? First you escape from whatever super villainish trap the previous poster left you in then create one for the next poster. Some rules,

No teleporting or magic.

No modifying the trap. You may assume stuff like "the chair is wooden" or "I'm tied up with rope" only if the previous poster didn't specify.

If multiple people respond to the same post, the first post to get through is considered canon and the others are ignored.

You lose if you can't figure out a way out.

Here's an example.

Ties the next poster to a chair and leaves them in a room to watch Soul Sisters mirror matches for all eternity.

I rock the chair back and forth until it falls onto its back. Obviously, I can't watch the games like this so I am righted. I then repeat the process until the chair breaks, I then use whatever pieces of the chair I can to knock out the Soul Sisters players and make my escape through a convenient door marked "Exit".

I zip-tie the next posters hands together, then I chain their right leg to the back of a truck that starts speeding down an endless gravel road.

(That's your que!)

[LinkCelestrial]

I wake up, eventually. I undo my belt and use the part you put through the hole (the hell is it called?) I file it on the stone floor until it's small enough to pick the lock with. I then take whatever time is necessary to escape the dungeon by trial and error.

Handcuffs the next posters hands to their feet (left hand to left foot, right hand to right foot) and gags them so they can't speak. I then put them in a human sized hamster ball that is tinted so you can't see in our out of it then give them to a bunch of teenagers as a massive soccer ball.

[Kaylesh]

Yells that I have free beer.

Locks next poster in the castle in monty python with 300 horny 16-19 year old girls.

Wait a second, you are gagged??
-monty Python, as in England? Can I have a number machine? I'll just enjoy myself for quite some time

Legislation:
The age of consent in England and Wales is 16[119] regardless of sexual orientation or gender, as specified by the Sexual Offences Act 2003.[120] However, if person A is over the age of 18 and is in a position of trust to person B who is under the age of 18, it is illegal for A to engage in sexual activity with B.[121] Section 47 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 makes it an offence to pay for or promise payment for sexual services of a person under 18 where the 'client' does not reasonably believe that person is over 18, or in any event for a person under 13.

[LinkCelestrial]

Taysby was gagged so...fail. And Kaylesh didn't lay a trap so....fail.

Looks around for any traps left by Kaylesh. Finds nothing.

Frames the next poster for the assassination of Justin Beiber and locks them in a blast proof-cell service-less room with 30 enraged Justin Beiber fans. 

[LinkCelestrial]

Asks a staff member to take me to the exit because my grandmother just died. Works every time.

Hangs the next poster off a bridge by their ankles. They are hung by a fraying rope that'll break any minute. It's a fifty foot drop to the hungry circle of sharks below.

Good luck.

[Heats Flamesman]

I get caught. I'm 15. I get thrown out and fined or sent to Juvie. Cool.

Ties the next poster with an average sized, sturdy rope to a bunch of teenage girls with a sign that says "I HATE HARRY STYLES".
(Specifically, teenage girls if average weight, height, and sanity. Assume they all can read. And read your sign. And like Harry Styles too)

[rarehuntertay]

Then I refuse to eat any of the lotus flowers until Percy Jackson arrives and I follow him out.

The next poster's back is placed against a surfboard, with both feet and hands tied behind the surfboard using titanium chains. They are left underneath a slowly dripping faucet, with the water dripping between their eyes every 30 seconds...

[LinkCelestrial]

I get caught. I'm 15. I get thrown out and fined or sent to Juvie. Cool.

Ties the next poster with an average sized, sturdy rope to a bunch of teenage girls with a sign that says "I HATE HARRY STYLES".
(Specifically, teenage girls if average weight, height, and sanity. Assume they all can read. And read your sign. And like Harry Styles too)

Missed it by that much.

[Heats Flamesman]

I love chihuahuas. I am perfectly content staying there until they are not angry, at which point I will make my escape by forcing myself up with my feet and their bodies.

The next person is locked in a car on a crowded highway going 70MPH. The lock is from the outside. The windows are bulletproof. Assume you have everything you may realistically have in your car.

[LinkCelestrial]

Taysby, that's when you make a scene guilt tripping them and either somebody else helps or they do.

Being as I'm in a car with everything I'd realistically have, I get in the front seat and use the brakes and steering wheel to safely pull over. I then have my phone, with which I call my family/a friend/AMA and am rescued.

Puts the next poster in a windowless, doorless room that fills with water. They're also handcuffed to the room's single feature, a railing set into the wall.

[LinkCelestrial]

You failed to mention that the room was made of paper (I got in by it being folded around me) I throw the cards to get through a wall to freedom.

Throws the next poster out of a plane at 2,500 feet. They don't have a parachute or that flying squirrel thing or wings or a jet pack or really anything but the clothes on their back.

[Splicer]

I take my shirt off and use it as a parachute to float safely to the ground.

The next poster is locked in a space shuttle orbiting Venus, and the orbit is decaying. You are too far for radio contact, and you have items you would find in a shuttle as of 2015.

[MarduArrow]

I use my handy dandy Canadarm to grab hold of a passing asteroid for a safe tow back toward earth and re-enter the atmosphere using small bursts if my air supply to steer

The next poster is shackled to a wall in front of a rocket sled track, 3 seconds to launch

[Heats Flamesman]

I use my handy dandy Canadarm to grab hold of a passing asteroid for a safe tow back toward earth and re-enter the atmosphere using small bursts if my air supply to steer

The next poster is shackled to a wall in front of a rocket sled track, 3 seconds to launch

I assume the rocket is a toy rocket and just kind of sits there before a slingshot shoots it up in the air uselessly. I also assume these shackles are made of cheese. I eat my way out of these shackles.

The next poster has to listen to my grandmother rant in a locked room. She will always be extremely rant-y and will do nothing but rant. She cannot be moved. There is no door or windows. The room is not paper.

[the_intelligentleman]

I serve your grandmother a cup of tea laced with a healthy amount of sedatives. When she falls asleep, I unlock the door using a key found on her person.

I put the next poster inside a metal coffin and bury it six feet under the dirt.