How do I

[TreeSmoker]

My grandparents tried taking my cards one because they thought it said "black magic" on them
It took me years to get them to actually read the backs then they gave them back..

[Kaworu, the Fifth Child]

Murder them in their sleep and dispose of the bodies mob boss style.

... That crossed the line.

Line? This is the internet. If there was a line it was killed off long ago.

Just make sure you bury the body vertically 7 feet under, cover it up just so you can see it, and put a dead dog overtop of it.  The police find the dog, mark the place, and never search there again :3

Anyway, I'm in a similar situation, and I've been dropping hints that I am indeed an atheist.  However it seems to elude them.  Be very blunt and tell them straightforward you are an atheist though.  If they start to throw out "Jesus Talk" or start yelling and screaming, just tell them the bible says to love people as you love yourself.  If they start to yell again, they ignored their own religion and call out the hypocrisy.  If you think your parents will react VERY BADLY, have a back-up plan where you could stay at a friends house.  Have a bag packed and ready to go.  The reason for this is so they have time to cool off and start to mull over the idea, but this is only if they react by starting screaming matches and continually start them up after the fact, or if they react in a hostile manner.   Otherwise they will think that you are thinking irrationally like a juvenile teenager.  They may not accept that you are an atheist and may not acknowledge the fact that you are one.  Give it time, and remind them every now and then, and maybe they'll get the message.

Yes I am using past experiences to tell you this in case anyone asks, "how do you know this works questions."

No, kill them and put them in a bathtub without anything seeing, draining all their blood, and cleaning the bathtub extremely thoroughly so no blood. Then chop them into 10+ segments and put them in trash cans on trash day across the city.

[Silent1236]

You know what you could do?  Just a suggestion, but instead of telling your parents that you think their beliefs are .poo., just bide your time and move out. Leave on good terms and they'll be way more willing to help out if your ever in a bind. No sense in .loving. up any type of relationship you guys have just because you don't like what they think. Pointless fight is pointless.

[rarehuntertay]

Murder them in their sleep and dispose of the bodies mob boss style.

... That crossed the line.

Line? This is the internet. If there was a line it was killed off long ago.

Just make sure you bury the body vertically 7 feet under, cover it up just so you can see it, and put a dead dog overtop of it.  The police find the dog, mark the place, and never search there again :3

Anyway, I'm in a similar situation, and I've been dropping hints that I am indeed an atheist.  However it seems to elude them.  Be very blunt and tell them straightforward you are an atheist though.  If they start to throw out "Jesus Talk" or start yelling and screaming, just tell them the bible says to love people as you love yourself.  If they start to yell again, they ignored their own religion and call out the hypocrisy.  If you think your parents will react VERY BADLY, have a back-up plan where you could stay at a friends house.  Have a bag packed and ready to go.  The reason for this is so they have time to cool off and start to mull over the idea, but this is only if they react by starting screaming matches and continually start them up after the fact, or if they react in a hostile manner.   Otherwise they will think that you are thinking irrationally like a juvenile teenager.  They may not accept that you are an atheist and may not acknowledge the fact that you are one.  Give it time, and remind them every now and then, and maybe they'll get the message.

Yes I am using past experiences to tell you this in case anyone asks, "how do you know this works questions."

No, kill them and put them in a bathtub without anything seeing, draining all their blood, and cleaning the bathtub extremely thoroughly so no blood. Then chop them into 10+ segments and put them in trash cans on trash day across the city.

Not effective enough. Meat grinder. Then pig farm. No remains.

[Spencer Addington]

You know what you could do?  Just a suggestion, but instead of telling your parents that you think their beliefs are .poo., just bide your time and move out. Leave on good terms and they'll be way more willing to help out if your ever in a bind. No sense in .loving. up any type of relationship you guys have just because you don't like what they think. Pointless fight is pointless.

Well it wouldn't be pointless, because they make me waste time going to church and stuff, and they'll probably try and push me into the 2 years of service almost every guy "has" to do. 

You could always tell them that your relationship with god is very strong and you feel that you should be able to worship how you want because your nearly(or are) an adult. That might get you out of Every week Sunday sermons. Maybe go every other or every two weeks to keep them happy until you move out.

[rarehuntertay]

You know what you could do?  Just a suggestion, but instead of telling your parents that you think their beliefs are .poo., just bide your time and move out. Leave on good terms and they'll be way more willing to help out if your ever in a bind. No sense in .loving. up any type of relationship you guys have just because you don't like what they think. Pointless fight is pointless.

Well it wouldn't be pointless, because they make me waste time going to church and stuff, and they'll probably try and push me into the 2 years of service almost every guy "has" to do. 

Sounds like Mormonism...

[FustyDavorite]

This is interesting. I'll give you my opinion from a Christian point of view, as I am one. First off, it seems to me that your parents have a very skewed, Americanized sense of Christianity based on what I'm reading, so know that what your parents believe may not be Christianity as it should be, but rather what your community sees as Christianity.

Now, I think that you should talk to them about what you do believe, not what you don't. There's a very large difference there that should not be mistaken. Rather than shoving Christianity into the ground (hence demolishing equality in your relationship with your parents) you should be forward with them. And don't be scared about them taking away your computer of whatever if you really want to stand for what you believe in inside an oppressive environment. Belief in anything at all takes sacrifice.

Now, your parents, as Christians who love their son, should approach the scenario in a loving, rational manner. Discussion should take place. Not irrational decision making to kick you out of the house or whatever. Know that that is not the approach they should take towards their fully grown son from a Christian parenting sort of view.

[Silent1236]

You know what you could do?  Just a suggestion, but instead of telling your parents that you think their beliefs are .poo., just bide your time and move out. Leave on good terms and they'll be way more willing to help out if your ever in a bind. No sense in .loving. up any type of relationship you guys have just because you don't like what they think. Pointless fight is pointless.

Well it wouldn't be pointless, because they make me waste time going to church and stuff, and they'll probably try and push me into the 2 years of service almost every guy "has" to do. 

You said you just graduated, which would mean you are 18, or at least close to it, which would make you an adult, which woud mean you are fully able to make your own, which would mean you could just say "No" and be on your way. That may upset them, but you could say it in a way that would make them realize that you are your own person and able to live for yourself.

[Kaworu, the Fifth Child]

Murder them in their sleep and dispose of the bodies mob boss style.

... That crossed the line.

Line? This is the internet. If there was a line it was killed off long ago.

Just make sure you bury the body vertically 7 feet under, cover it up just so you can see it, and put a dead dog overtop of it.  The police find the dog, mark the place, and never search there again :3

Anyway, I'm in a similar situation, and I've been dropping hints that I am indeed an atheist.  However it seems to elude them.  Be very blunt and tell them straightforward you are an atheist though.  If they start to throw out "Jesus Talk" or start yelling and screaming, just tell them the bible says to love people as you love yourself.  If they start to yell again, they ignored their own religion and call out the hypocrisy.  If you think your parents will react VERY BADLY, have a back-up plan where you could stay at a friends house.  Have a bag packed and ready to go.  The reason for this is so they have time to cool off and start to mull over the idea, but this is only if they react by starting screaming matches and continually start them up after the fact, or if they react in a hostile manner.   Otherwise they will think that you are thinking irrationally like a juvenile teenager.  They may not accept that you are an atheist and may not acknowledge the fact that you are one.  Give it time, and remind them every now and then, and maybe they'll get the message.

Yes I am using past experiences to tell you this in case anyone asks, "how do you know this works questions."

No, kill them and put them in a bathtub without anything seeing, draining all their blood, and cleaning the bathtub extremely thoroughly so no blood. Then chop them into 10+ segments and put them in trash cans on trash day across the city.

Not effective enough. Meat grinder. Then pig farm. No remains.

Worked for Roy Demeo.

[FlickerYourOwnIdentity]

If you can think of anyone they respect to be on your side within the family or their circle of friends, make that alliance.  It helps a whole lot more then you think it would.  Sometimes you need to approach each parent one at a time, start with the easier one, then on to the harder one.  If you think they will react in a way that calls attention to the other person, them tell them at the same time instead.
Be kind and courteous to them, and tell them that you are still the same person.  If they ask where you came up with the assumption that you are an atheist, calmly point out why, and some paradoxes found in the religion.
The key is to be calm, kind, and act to act like yourself.  They will still love you, and you will still keep a room.

Again, pack a bag if you are afraid they will kick you out.  Assemble a group of friends and establish if you can crash at their house.  Tell them that you can jump around if needed among them, and some will comply.  Do this only if they react hostilely or they constantly start yelling matches.  Tell them that you still want to be a family with them, so you don't want to tear it apart.  Leaving will give them time to cool down and warm up to the idea.

Hope this helped!