I Don't Know What To Do

[FlickerYourOwnIdentity]

I know this doesn't help a whole lot, but if you are asked to leave the room, leave the house instead. Remove yourself from the vicinity for the duration of the arguments. Ever since I was a wee lad, listening to music and aimlessly walking around town has been a huge stress reliever for me. It gives you a chance to blow off steam and not have to listen to another fight. Not a fix, but maybe like a bandaid or something . Just keep your head up!  I've heard people talk about life being the same after high school, an those people are dead wrong. Basically the whole of my high school career was .poo., but my mood did a 180 after graduating and starting work. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Just gotta trudge through the .poo. for a few years first.

Thanks Silent.  I plan to follow this somewhat.  Music has become a chore, and now reminds me of my situation.  It doesn't help with all the musical extra curricular activities I have.

[FlickerYourOwnIdentity]

Also, don't take music so seriously.  Just use it to relax and have fun.  That's the point of music.  Not to be a stressor.

I know, but if I don't take it seriously, I fail 2 classes.

[#noided]

Some interesting advice about your religion problem.  Even if you don't believe it, most religions teach you to be a good person, by serving, being kind, etc, and to have good values like no underage sex and drinking, so you can still learn from it even if you thing a celestial being is a load of Bullcrap.

What the hell is underage sex? Morals are one thing but telling someone they aren't mature enough to make their own decisions is anothe (just don't drink if you're depressed, seen too many good people taken over by alcohol.)

EDIT: I suppose I should add that if you ever need to talk, you can PM me or anyone else you trust. I'd bet they will be more than willing to talk about what's on your mind.

As someone who has experienced divorce as well, it's not the end of the world. It's one of the most stressful and difficult things I've ever gone through, but in the end it will always get better. You're 14, man. You have a lot of road ahead of you, and there will always be bumps. High school is one of the best times ever (until college of course ). One of my favorite wats to relieve stress is just to hit the gym. Just go there and let everything go (and get swole in the process), maybe even try yoga. No matter what happens now, just remember that everything will be fine eventually.

[Gorzo]

I'm really sorry to hear you have to deal with all of these things. From getting to know you here, I can tell you without a doubt that you deserve better. And I know you'll get better, too, once it all gets sorted out in time.

I ask that you take the following into consideration:

1) we care about you here. I think you're a great guy, and I really enjoy having you around here! Know that even when .poo. gets stressful at home and school, you can always kick back on the computer or iDevice with imtg. I'm always available to chat, and you can see that I'm not the only who cares enough to offer, either. That's not because we're especially helpful people, it's because you are who you are and we like that person.

2) if you have insurance, medication might not be too expensive. One of the medications I take is $4 for a 3-month prescription. It's worth looking into if you're interested. I have no copayment whatsoever for my psychiatrist, either. No reason to go it alone, help is nice to have! It's just a matter of finding the right doctor.

3) What you like is what you like, and who you are is who you are. I can't imagine how tough it must be with your parents hounding you about your hobbies and not supporting you like they should be, but please don't let it discourage you from being yourself. Like I said before, the person you are is a pretty good one.

4) your friends sound awesome. That was super nice of them to pool money for you like that! You know what that really means, right? Those people right there, those friends are there for you too. Lean on 'em! They did what they did because they want to be there to help you not just the one time, they're showing you they're there for you. And I wouldn't worry about paying them back - it's really nice of you to think of them, but they gave it to you to help! They wouldn't want you stress more to get that money back to them. And if you insist, at least take your time! They'll feel bad if they stressed you out making you work to pay em back.

Hang tough. It does get better. That's a tough age, and all of that stress doesn't help. But you'll be okay.

[Spikepit]

Buddy, that's hard. And I admire your strength and confidence to come out and ask for help. Especially on a public forum like this one.

It shows you have strength and that's what will get you through this. You are a strong little dude and I can tell from your confidence in your input in Gathering. Keep flexing that brain and that heart my friend, they are the most crucial muscles we have.

It's the most generic thing an adult can say but these things you're going through are ugly Nd tough and silly and maybe even pointless, but they are going to make you the best you you can be.

Chin up, head phones in and bliss out as best you can. 😁

[Ertai]

Taysby you just gave more insight to my situation then any consoler I have ever visited, thank you.

The worst part is all this stress has led me to fall behind.  I am a current holder of a low D, low C and a high C in my academics.  That puts more stress on me, and the continuous loop digs me deeper.

FYI. High school doesn't mean a whole lot. It's a stepping stone, but if you don't play sports well, it really makes no difference. I wouldn't stress yourself out on your grades. Focus on your life issues outside of school. I know how It feels.

I was a gangbanger when I was a young teenager. I didn't care about school at all. I ended up getting expelled from my first school because I got in a lot of fights. My second one was an alternative high school, and though it was much more relaxed, I wasn't interested. After being really dumb and making dumb choices, I ended up in a situation where I had to choose between the army and 3-5 years in prison. Obviously I chose the army. They only wanted me to join the reserves so I didn't think much of it. I went to basic training and ended up falling in love with the job. I never again though about going back to those ways. Unfortunately I was hurt while serving my second tour of duty in Iraq, and was unable to reup. I decided to go back to school as I had my GED, which is all I needed to join the army. I ended up going to NIU, great school, getting my MBA in Business Management.

My point is, I was a delinquent thug, and I still was and am successful. I know you have to listen to your parents, and I'm not telling you to go out and quit high school and join a gang. I'm not even saying disobey your parents, but try to reason with them. Explain to them how you feel and how their fighting is affecting you. They will understand.

Hope everything works out for you. Don't hesitate to pm me if you need to talk about anything!

[5/9 Turtle]

Thank you all for this, although it doesn't fix the problem, it helped me a little to talk things out.  Seeing as I know this won't be the last time I have this kind of moment, especially right now, I am keeping this up for further use.  To anyone who feels the same way.  I'm sorry to burden you all with my problems, but thank you for all your help.

You aren't burdening us with your problems, you're opening your problems up to us and that is a huge step to overcoming these problems and a risk too. There are a lot of people in this community that care and don't mind that you're doing this so anytime you need help just post something or PM someone and they'll most likely help

[FlickerYourOwnIdentity]

Guys I'm ok on this matter if it is directed at me.  I don't plan on having sex until marriage.  I personally don't want it to seem like I'm disloyal.  Now you can have your argument or discussion, just leave me out of it

[Spikepit]

[Mlerner12]

I'm late to say much now since all I can think of has been said, but really, it does get better, I can assure you. This same thing happened to me very recently, and I just tried to ease everyone into calming down whenever I saw an argument brewing, and it normally worked. Let it slowly all get better (took a few months for me), and for a few months after just be relaxed and don't do anything that'll halt your progress. Just push through, Flicker. And, I'm sorry for sounding cliche, but you can do it, just be strong.

[Mlerner12]

Some interesting advice about your religion problem.  Even if you don't believe it, most religions teach you to be a good person, by serving, being kind, etc, and to have good values like no underage sex and drinking, so you can still learn from it even if you thing a celestial being is a load of Bullcrap.

What the hell is underage sex? Morals are one thing but telling someone they aren't mature enough to make their own decisions is anothe (just don't drink if you're depressed, seen too many good people taken over by alcohol.)

Underage sex is having sex when you aren't ready to support the child.  I was using hat as an example of good things religion teaches you.  I can also say not doing drugs.  And not hitting other people, or not calling them names.  Religion teaches you to be a good, nice person.

This is going to the extreme. I full heartily disagree.

"Religion teaches you to be a good person", Crusades, Helter Skelter, and all the genocide that's happened in the name of "god"

Also, just because you have sex doesn't mean the women will get pregnant. Lol. That's super ignorant, just like the religious to believe that.

"Bombs drop for jesus."

Learning about this case in school.

[Apathy Reactor]

Dude, my evidence is perception. Your definition of "values" is also a perception. It may also be different then what other's value.

Murder is wrong because the law says it's wrong. That's why people values say its wrong.

The church says killing is wrong no matter what. Lots of people feel different.

If you know anything about history, then you would know the church has always been corrupt and false.

As far as my opinion, a book written by a human being that talks about how people are supposed to live doesn't sound very appealing.

Even though I spoke about one religion, the samec an be said for every other religion. If "god" gave us free will, what's the point of a book that orders you to do certain things, or risk going to a fabled place.

Sorry, not buying it. There's plenty of other things that teach values, say the Laws governed by your country. Or maybe how you are raised.

My point is, think for your bloody self, not some magical fairy tail.

I don't think that this is very helpful or on topic, others here may feel differently, y'know. Essentially you are saying that religion is a load of bull and do not base your moral code on a religion, right? Well, I don't think that the law is anything to base your moral code on, countless government have been and are corrupt. England issued a law in its industrial revolution making it illegal for engineers to leave the country, if I'm an engineer, is it then morally wrong to take a vacation?

[Apathy Reactor]

Dude, my evidence is perception. Your definition of "values" is also a perception. It may also be different then what other's value.

Murder is wrong because the law says it's wrong. That's why people values say its wrong.

The church says killing is wrong no matter what. Lots of people feel different.

If you know anything about history, then you would know the church has always been corrupt and false.

As far as my opinion, a book written by a human being that talks about how people are supposed to live doesn't sound very appealing.

Even though I spoke about one religion, the samec an be said for every other religion. If "god" gave us free will, what's the point of a book that orders you to do certain things, or risk going to a fabled place.

Sorry, not buying it. There's plenty of other things that teach values, say the Laws governed by your country. Or maybe how you are raised.

My point is, think for your bloody self, not some magical fairy tail.

I don't think that this is very helpful or on topic, others here may feel differently, y'know. Essentially you are saying that religion is a load of bull and do not base your moral code on a religion, right? Well, I don't think that the law is anything to base your moral code on, countless government have been and are corrupt. England issued a law in its industrial revolution making it illegal for engineers to leave the country, if I'm an engineer, is it then morally wrong to take a vacation?

I find it morally wrong to change your stage coach wheel on the side of the road.

Sorry, I just had to say that, because it's actually still a law in a state.

You're right, it was not productive of me to argue, and I apologize. Though my views are completely different, I felt the need to voice my opinion, as Tasby had as well.

thanks for understanding, and @Flicker, this may have been said several times already, but I'm only a little older than you and I had some of the same problems last year, you just got to tough it out man, it hurts and it's stressful right now, and it may get worse, but at the end of it all, things will get better. If your parents fight then I would do as Mlerner said and try to just calm down the argument, or remove myself from the situation.

[Spikepit]

Nice one, IceScythe.

Now, we're dealing with a sensitive issue here in which a forum user (a mod, no less who deserves some respect for their efforts for forum betterment) is reaching out. If you gave to have another endless religion vs atheism debate, fair enough, by all means go ahead!!! But please split threads.

Everyone chill, if we treat each other with respect, don't lie and accept other's opinions as their own and everything will be fine.

[Mikefrompluto]

I know it's been said, so I'll just reiterate the point. You're young. None of this will matter in 3 1/2 years. Just hold out until then and you'll be 18 and be able to get out on your own. That's 3 1/2 years followed by tr rest of your life to make your own decisions and do as you please. I'm 25, soon to be 26. Literally nothing that happened to me 12 years ago matters now.

Just keep your head up, young brother. Things will get better.