Hypothetically, I have a girlfriend. Hypothetically, she feels like she's unequal to me, and that she feels sad a lot. That our relationship isn't the same lately.
Hypothetically what do I do?
Get her flowers, tell her how much she means to you, and hug her.
Quote from: Thetrufflehunter on March 07, 2015, 02:43:55 AM
Hypothetically, I have a girlfriend. Hypothetically, she feels like she's unequal to me, and that she feels sad a lot. That our relationship isn't the same lately.
Hypothetically what do I do?
define "unequal". Does she feel like your needs come first before her needs? Or that you're better than her in some way and she's undeserving?
The main thing it sounds like she needs is reassurance from you that you still have feelings for her, and that you care about what she needs from the relationship.
Is she sad all the time or just around you? Are you the one in some way unbeknownst to you making her sad?
Unequal as in my life is "perfect". I'm the teachers pet to all of my teachers, a straight A student, am always called on to run errands for my home room teacher, successful Boy Scout, (pretty sure) the most popular boy in my class, etc.
I wish it was as easy as giving her flowers... Last night we were talking, and we worked out that she needed some space. I'm to treat her like a normal friend for probably the next week, to give her breathing room.
Honestly man, she may just not be happy in the relationship. It happens, it's not your fault, not her fault, just simply the compatibility of two humans. There is nothing wrong with it, especially at a young age. This probably won't be the last time it happens to you. Just be glad it didn't take a marriage and a couple kids to figure it out (ask me how I know). A relationship is supposed to be easy, if you two are meant to be together, you'll find an easy way to make it happen. Do what you can do to help her feel comfortable in the relationship, but DO NOT force it, it will not help. Good luck man, and still build her that zombie deck, there is ZERO reason you cannot still be friends.
Quote from: Wingnut on March 07, 2015, 11:52:46 AM
Honestly man, she may just not be happy in the relationship. It happens, it's not your fault, not her fault, just simply the compatibility of two humans. There is nothing wrong with it, especially at a young age. This probably won't be the last time it happens to you. Just be glad it didn't take a marriage and a couple kids to figure it out (ask me how I know). A relationship is supposed to be easy, if you two are meant to be together, you'll find an easy way to make it happen. Do what you can do to help her feel comfortable in the relationship, but DO NOT force it, it will not help. Good luck man, and still build her that zombie deck, there is ZERO reason you cannot still be friends.
Probably the best advice I've received 😊
I'm not calling it quits yet. We'll see what happens once she is done with the gap. You know you love someone when you roll over and realize it's past midnight and you've been writing a sonnet about her for the past 20 minutes.
Quote from: Wingnut on March 07, 2015, 11:52:46 AM
Honestly man, she may just not be happy in the relationship. It happens, it's not your fault, not her fault, just simply the compatibility of two humans. There is nothing wrong with it, especially at a young age. This probably won't be the last time it happens to you. Just be glad it didn't take a marriage and a couple kids to figure it out (ask me how I know). A relationship is supposed to be easy, if you two are meant to be together, you'll find an easy way to make it happen. Do what you can do to help her feel comfortable in the relationship, but DO NOT force it, it will not help. Good luck man, and still build her that zombie deck, there is ZERO reason you cannot still be friends.
I agree with the above except the "relationships should be easy" part. Committed long term relationships take work from both sides. There are no two humans who are 100% satisfied 100% of the time without putting effort in and facing challenges. Best o luck.
Quote from: particle on March 07, 2015, 03:32:13 PM
Quote from: Wingnut on March 07, 2015, 11:52:46 AM
Honestly man, she may just not be happy in the relationship. It happens, it's not your fault, not her fault, just simply the compatibility of two humans. There is nothing wrong with it, especially at a young age. This probably won't be the last time it happens to you. Just be glad it didn't take a marriage and a couple kids to figure it out (ask me how I know). A relationship is supposed to be easy, if you two are meant to be together, you'll find an easy way to make it happen. Do what you can do to help her feel comfortable in the relationship, but DO NOT force it, it will not help. Good luck man, and still build her that zombie deck, there is ZERO reason you cannot still be friends.
I agree with the above except the "relationships should be easy" part. Committed long term relationships take work from both sides. There are no two humans who are 100% satisfied 100% of the time without putting effort in and facing challenges. Best o luck.
This. The important thing is that you're communicating and that you don't stop communicating.
My advice is dump your hypothetical girlfriend and get a real one. They are much more fun when they are real. Then again they are much easier to please when they are hypothetical. Now i dont know what im recommending. Sorry :S
Quote from: Mr_Fahrenheit on March 07, 2015, 06:18:37 PM
My advice is dump your hypothetical girlfriend and get a real one. They are much more fun when they are real. Then again they are much easier to please when they are hypothetical. Now i dont know what im recommending. Sorry :S
This hypothetical girlfriend exists >.>
Hypothetical girls are much better. Talk and cost much less.
Quote from: particle on March 07, 2015, 07:52:10 PM
Hypothetical girls are much better. Talk and cost much less.
I got lucky - my girlfriend apologized to me for buying about ten different shirts and jeans and spending about $65 overall. Said she spent too much, lol
If you like it, then why don't you put a ring on it. 💍👆
Quote from: particle on March 07, 2015, 03:32:13 PM
Quote from: Wingnut on March 07, 2015, 11:52:46 AM
Honestly man, she may just not be happy in the relationship. It happens, it's not your fault, not her fault, just simply the compatibility of two humans. There is nothing wrong with it, especially at a young age. This probably won't be the last time it happens to you. Just be glad it didn't take a marriage and a couple kids to figure it out (ask me how I know). A relationship is supposed to be easy, if you two are meant to be together, you'll find an easy way to make it happen. Do what you can do to help her feel comfortable in the relationship, but DO NOT force it, it will not help. Good luck man, and still build her that zombie deck, there is ZERO reason you cannot still be friends.
I agree with the above except the "relationships should be easy" part. Committed long term relationships take work from both sides. There are no two humans who are 100% satisfied 100% of the time without putting effort in and facing challenges. Best o luck.
I agree with this, there is no perfect relationship, but it also shouldn't be hard. I used to think this same thing, that relationships require hard work. But let me tell you, me and my now fiancé, just click. It is frankly, easy. We have the same personality so we just mesh. There is such a thing as an easy relationship. The key is finding and recognizing it when you do.
First of all, is she depressed. I had a girlfriend once who was and she seemed to feel the same way your hypothetical one does. If this turns out to be the case, don't buy her flowers, she wants you to have fun with her. Do something she likes. Make her feel special and loved. Even if she doesn't have some mental illness do this anyway. Make your girl loved man.
Quote from: Munchlax on March 08, 2015, 01:01:57 AM
First of all, is she depressed. I had a girlfriend once who was and she seemed to feel the same way your hypothetical one does. If this turns out to be the case, don't buy her flowers, she wants you to have fun with her. Do something she likes. Make her feel special and loved. Even if she doesn't have some mental illness do this anyway. Make your girl loved man.
I'm pretty sure she isn't depressed. Good idea with taking her "on a date" of sorts.
A lot of.women have bad self esteem atributted to bad self image. I was with a girl from high school into mid twenties before we split up. She always thought less of herself and was very self conscience about her looks. Let me just say she was very hot and was constantly hit on by other guys.......I could tell you a story where I beat the snot out of two guys at the same time over this chick because they were being rude asses. The point I am trying to get at wad that nothing I ever did or said could change the way she felt about herself And anything I did wrong would could turned around and thrown in my face for making her feel so less of herself. I am not saying to give up but do understand if it is a chemical in balance then medication may be the only answer. good luck with it and maybe you will fair better than I did ;)
Quote from: Wingnut on March 07, 2015, 11:25:13 PM
Quote from: particle on March 07, 2015, 03:32:13 PM
Quote from: Wingnut on March 07, 2015, 11:52:46 AM
Honestly man, she may just not be happy in the relationship. It happens, it's not your fault, not her fault, just simply the compatibility of two humans. There is nothing wrong with it, especially at a young age. This probably won't be the last time it happens to you. Just be glad it didn't take a marriage and a couple kids to figure it out (ask me how I know). A relationship is supposed to be easy, if you two are meant to be together, you'll find an easy way to make it happen. Do what you can do to help her feel comfortable in the relationship, but DO NOT force it, it will not help. Good luck man, and still build her that zombie deck, there is ZERO reason you cannot still be friends.
I agree with the above except the "relationships should be easy" part. Committed long term relationships take work from both sides. There are no two humans who are 100% satisfied 100% of the time without putting effort in and facing challenges. Best o luck.
I agree with this, there is no perfect relationship, but it also shouldn't be hard. I used to think this same thing, that relationships require hard work. But let me tell you, me and my now fiancé, just click. It is frankly, easy. We have the same personality so we just mesh. There is such a thing as an easy relationship. The key is finding and recognizing it when you do.
Call me in ten years and we'll see if your relationship was easy. After kids, bills, house payments, something will stress you out I guarantee it. Sure you guys are happy now but you're only engaged. Not trying to be negative nancy, I'm all for love, just think it's silly to think "she's perfect for me, I'll never be unhappy a day in my life." Life is hard. Great people (friends, partners etc) can make it easier, but they cannot solve all problems.
Quote from: particle on March 08, 2015, 09:39:48 AM
Quote from: Wingnut on March 07, 2015, 11:25:13 PM
Quote from: particle on March 07, 2015, 03:32:13 PM
Quote from: Wingnut on March 07, 2015, 11:52:46 AM
Honestly man, she may just not be happy in the relationship. It happens, it's not your fault, not her fault, just simply the compatibility of two humans. There is nothing wrong with it, especially at a young age. This probably won't be the last time it happens to you. Just be glad it didn't take a marriage and a couple kids to figure it out (ask me how I know). A relationship is supposed to be easy, if you two are meant to be together, you'll find an easy way to make it happen. Do what you can do to help her feel comfortable in the relationship, but DO NOT force it, it will not help. Good luck man, and still build her that zombie deck, there is ZERO reason you cannot still be friends.
I agree with the above except the "relationships should be easy" part. Committed long term relationships take work from both sides. There are no two humans who are 100% satisfied 100% of the time without putting effort in and facing challenges. Best o luck.
I agree with this, there is no perfect relationship, but it also shouldn't be hard. I used to think this same thing, that relationships require hard work. But let me tell you, me and my now fiancé, just click. It is frankly, easy. We have the same personality so we just mesh. There is such a thing as an easy relationship. The key is finding and recognizing it when you do.
Call me in ten years and we'll see if your relationship was easy. After kids, bills, house payments, something will stress you out I guarantee it. Sure you guys are happy now but you're only engaged. Not trying to be negative nancy, I'm all for love, just think it's silly to think "she's perfect for me, I'll never be unhappy a day in my life." Life is hard. Great people (friends, partners etc) can make it easier, but they cannot solve all problems.
I completely get what your saying (been there and have the child support as a souvenir). Me and my now fiancé have been together 8 years and have a child together. We've had money in the bank at times and we've robbed our piggy banks so we can buy toilet paper at others. We have have a "major" fight MAYBE twice. Now I admit that the spark fades, but I swear to cow it truly is easy. It's out there man, it's out there. BUT, I will admit that she is a rare bird, there aren't many like her. I will honestly say I have not once felt like her and I "have to work".
Today's news. A girl in my class told my gf I had a crush on her. Now she's upset with me and is on the verge of breaking up because of what this girl said.
Quote from: Thetrufflehunter on March 08, 2015, 05:53:04 PM
Today's news. A girl in my class told my gf I had a crush on her. Now she's upset with me and is on the verge of breaking up because of what this girl said.
Does she have any evidence that you actually said that? If not, just tell your girlfriend that (insert girls name here) is just a thirsty @$$ gardening tool that wants to be as good as your gf
Quote from: Popper23345 on March 08, 2015, 06:07:21 PM
Quote from: Thetrufflehunter on March 08, 2015, 05:53:04 PM
Today's news. A girl in my class told my gf I had a crush on her. Now she's upset with me and is on the verge of breaking up because of what this girl said.
Does she have any evidence that you actually said that? If not, just tell your girlfriend that (insert girls name here) is just a thirsty @$$ gardening tool that wants to be as good as your gf
I did. Took it a step further: swore on my life and on my heritage that I said nothing of the sort.
Quote from: Thetrufflehunter on March 08, 2015, 06:14:20 PM
Quote from: Popper23345 on March 08, 2015, 06:07:21 PM
Quote from: Thetrufflehunter on March 08, 2015, 05:53:04 PM
Today's news. A girl in my class told my gf I had a crush on her. Now she's upset with me and is on the verge of breaking up because of what this girl said.
Does she have any evidence that you actually said that? If not, just tell your girlfriend that (insert girls name here) is just a thirsty @$$ gardening tool that wants to be as good as your gf
I did. Took it a step further: swore on my life and on my heritage that I said nothing of the sort.
Well the first question is do you?
Ah young problems lol, wish I still had those
Quote from: Wingnut on March 08, 2015, 07:26:07 PM
Quote from: Thetrufflehunter on March 08, 2015, 06:14:20 PM
Quote from: Popper23345 on March 08, 2015, 06:07:21 PM
Quote from: Thetrufflehunter on March 08, 2015, 05:53:04 PM
Today's news. A girl in my class told my gf I had a crush on her. Now she's upset with me and is on the verge of breaking up because of what this girl said.
Does she have any evidence that you actually said that? If not, just tell your girlfriend that (insert girls name here) is just a thirsty @$$ gardening tool that wants to be as good as your gf
I did. Took it a step further: swore on my life and on my heritage that I said nothing of the sort.
Well the first question is do you?
Do I what? Yes, I didn't say that (or think it) and no, there is no proof. It was her, my friend, and I hanging out after my school play.
So your girlfriend is mad at you because another girl likes you? Or because she thinks you initiated/caused the attraction? Or she thinks you actually cheated on her with said girl? If it's the first one, she has no merit. You cannot control other people's feelings and I don't think she'd expect you to dress like a hobo just so no female ever looks in your direction.
Quote from: particle on March 08, 2015, 07:44:46 PM
So your girlfriend is mad at you because another girl likes you? Or because she thinks you initiated/caused the attraction? Or she thinks you actually cheated on her with said girl? If it's the first one, she has no merit. You cannot control other people's feelings and I don't think she'd expect you to dress like a hobo just so no female ever looks in your direction.
More of "she likes you and now she says you like her, and I don't know who to believe".
Take her out to dinner at her favorite restaurant and tell her you love her and how important she is to you, a heartfelt and meaningful gift may also help
Relationships come and go, focus on school work and wait until college, Mr. popular 😉
Quote from: gtfotis on March 09, 2015, 01:14:50 AM
Relationships come and go, focus on school work and wait until college, Mr. popular 😉
Otis, he's got the ladies all over him. He can't wait.
You're under 20 - you have a 5% chance of making her a wife, that's only likely if you end up skipping college together or go to a CC together and try to get domestic.
I tried to hold out for my first gf and here's what ill tell you: don't hold out for baby girl drama like this, if she's so easily manipulated by your school social world and is having teen issues that affect your relationship/yourself. Is it worth it?
The answer is no. Plenty of fish in the sea, find the one who lands in your lap and not the one who makes you pull out all of your teeth.
To quote the great Dr Dre
"Itches ain't 💩 but hose and tricks"
^^^^gangsta sheet right there son^^^^^^
We did a lot of talking, and it's looking pretty good for our relationship. Thanks to you all!
Quote from: Thetrufflehunter on March 11, 2015, 12:42:08 AM
We did a lot of talking, and it's looking pretty good for our relationship. Thanks to you all!
Hey man, I know that you guys already worked this out, but just let me give you a smidgen of advice:
NEVER EVER feel like it's already happened until she says yes. And if you guys get into a fight, here's a template for what you could say:
I know right now you hate me. Hey, you've been hating me for a year
now(congratulations). But if I may just clear things up.
First of all, please don't ignore this. That's all I ask. I also know it seems selfish of me to ask such a thing as you're the one who got hurt. Just hear me out. Allow me to start of with a quote I recall from gradeschool:
"There will come a time when the unthinkable will happen. That will be the period at which our lives will cross again. All will begin anew, like the break of day."
- Anonymous
I know you aren't one to believe too much in fate, But if this is what the world wishes, it will be done. So, now comes the part where I explain things.
—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•
Last year, during the month of August I believe, I sent you my first text*. I texted you since I saw you during the Halloween Party when me and the rest were in Second Year. J texted you because I wanted to know how you were doing. I mean, I knew you since you we were in first grade. All throughout that span of time, friends came and went. I know I wasn't really close to you guys during grade school since I had friends of my own.
When we were in sixth grade after our graduation, I went with you guys to Shakey's** . I went because I wanted to tell you how I really felt. But then I saw something that discouraged me from such, so I refrained from doing so. Also, the accident in fifth grade was entirely my fault. I didn't mean to cause an overload in the circuitry of the tiny lightbulb. I should have been more careful. I also apologize for being super weird in grade school. Like that time I ate a chicken leg in front of you and Beatrice.
Yes, I know I'm getting off topic here. So here's my plethora of sentences all written with plenary and utter honesty.
When I told you I liked you, I felt awkward(naturally). But it was a good feeling. My consciousness never felt so free. I guess all I had to do was release an unshared memory. From then on, we texted regularly enough except when neither of us had any load. But the information I was withholding was that I was actually texting Aya and Beatrice at the same time. They were the ones who I could express my feelings about you to and proliferate from there on. You may be thinking that what I'm saying in complete and utter bullshit, but it's the truth. If you don't want to believe me, go ask Beatrice or Aya. They'll probably show it to you anyway. When a few months had passed since my confession, I had started to feel something . Deep down inside, I knew exactly what it meant. You might not have felt it, but I did. Yes, it was the emotion you said we should both stay away from for now since none of us knew what it actually meant, but I can't find any other word to describe the feeling. Through the shroud that was the emotion I felt for you, I was starting to become myopic. I kept on expressing through Aya, and she always replied a text of encouragement. I always felt more comfortable when I had the support of a friend. Then I committed the sin. I spread a rumor about us. At the time, I was on Cloud 9 and couldn't find a way off. I totally forgot o consider your life and how it might have affected you. 'Till now, I feel the dread that looms over me every single goddamned day. The rumor, it is a volatile tool that can improve or destroy another intangible concept. This rumor ran along the lines of the latter. If you could ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I don't know what I would do. Would I mess everything up again? Or maybe, this time, would I take a separate path? It all lies in your ability to believe. I know that when I asked you out to the promenade, you had a certain maybe. That's where the rumors had planted itself.
I don't deserve to have a friend like you. If we were still friends, you might be saying right now:
"It isn't about deservance. It's about how you properly asses the situation."
I know that anyone would be lucky to have you. Although I should piont out what a friend of mine said in a text:
"Bilang isang araw, bubukas din mata niya.
text? gm."
I only wanted to go out with you so that I could open your eyes. Step you down into the real world where the people are. I know you might say: "My eyes are open. You just don't realize it." But then, the truth:
" Confession of a shoujo manga fan #1: Forever alone. Admit it, you've never had a boyfriend yet, and no one bothers to date you because you're like that "weird" leading lady of the manga you're reading while expecting the prince charming to fall for you. It could be a senpai, a seatmate, a teacher... Butyou forget you're in the real world...
Then you ask, "Why isn't my life a shoujo manga!?" as you flip any table you see."
I just didn't want you to go in too deep because once your at the deep end, it takes a lot of effort to come back up. I know you're good in academics, that's why you're in PHSA. I just don't want you to get too in to it. You know.
Plus, since you'll probably ignore this part.
Any guy would be luck to have you. You're ravashing, intelligent, quirky, and just childish enough that even you could make a fool out of yourself. Plus, I didn't know this until now, but I do love you. I know it's too early, as you said. But it's true. I can't spend a day without going back to that day that you smiled and laughed. I didn't really mean for your celebration to go that way, but it did. And you were happy. That's all I want. Nothing more, nothing less.
Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.
-Gerald Jampolski
Trust me man, this coming from a guys who's had a girl he's really into be angry at him for over a year.
Quote from: theravenseye on March 11, 2015, 08:03:24 AM
Quote from: Thetrufflehunter on March 11, 2015, 12:42:08 AM
We did a lot of talking, and it's looking pretty good for our relationship. Thanks to you all!
Hey man, I know that you guys already worked this out, but just let me give you a smidgen of advice:
NEVER EVER feel like it's already happened until she says yes. And if you guys get into a fight, here's a template for what you could say:
I know right now you hate me. Hey, you've been hating me for a year
now(congratulations). But if I may just clear things up.
First of all, please don't ignore this. That's all I ask. I also know it seems selfish of me to ask such a thing as you're the one who got hurt. Just hear me out. Allow me to start of with a quote I recall from gradeschool:
"There will come a time when the unthinkable will happen. That will be the period at which our lives will cross again. All will begin anew, like the break of day."
- Anonymous
I know you aren't one to believe too much in fate, But if this is what the world wishes, it will be done. So, now comes the part where I explain things.
—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•
Last year, during the month of August I believe, I sent you my first text*. I texted you since I saw you during the Halloween Party when me and the rest were in Second Year. J texted you because I wanted to know how you were doing. I mean, I knew you since you we were in first grade. All throughout that span of time, friends came and went. I know I wasn't really close to you guys during grade school since I had friends of my own.
When we were in sixth grade after our graduation, I went with you guys to Shakey's** . I went because I wanted to tell you how I really felt. But then I saw something that discouraged me from such, so I refrained from doing so. Also, the accident in fifth grade was entirely my fault. I didn't mean to cause an overload in the circuitry of the tiny lightbulb. I should have been more careful. I also apologize for being super weird in grade school. Like that time I ate a chicken leg in front of you and Beatrice.
Yes, I know I'm getting off topic here. So here's my plethora of sentences all written with plenary and utter honesty.
When I told you I liked you, I felt awkward(naturally). But it was a good feeling. My consciousness never felt so free. I guess all I had to do was release an unshared memory. From then on, we texted regularly enough except when neither of us had any load. But the information I was withholding was that I was actually texting Aya and Beatrice at the same time. They were the ones who I could express my feelings about you to and proliferate from there on. You may be thinking that what I'm saying in complete and utter bullshit, but it's the truth. If you don't want to believe me, go ask Beatrice or Aya. They'll probably show it to you anyway. When a few months had passed since my confession, I had started to feel something . Deep down inside, I knew exactly what it meant. You might not have felt it, but I did. Yes, it was the emotion you said we should both stay away from for now since none of us knew what it actually meant, but I can't find any other word to describe the feeling. Through the shroud that was the emotion I felt for you, I was starting to become myopic. I kept on expressing through Aya, and she always replied a text of encouragement. I always felt more comfortable when I had the support of a friend. Then I committed the sin. I spread a rumor about us. At the time, I was on Cloud 9 and couldn't find a way off. I totally forgot o consider your life and how it might have affected you. 'Till now, I feel the dread that looms over me every single goddamned day. The rumor, it is a volatile tool that can improve or destroy another intangible concept. This rumor ran along the lines of the latter. If you could ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I don't know what I would do. Would I mess everything up again? Or maybe, this time, would I take a separate path? It all lies in your ability to believe. I know that when I asked you out to the promenade, you had a certain maybe. That's where the rumors had planted itself.
I don't deserve to have a friend like you. If we were still friends, you might be saying right now:
"It isn't about deservance. It's about how you properly asses the situation."
I know that anyone would be lucky to have you. Although I should piont out what a friend of mine said in a text:
"Bilang isang araw, bubukas din mata niya.
text? gm."
I only wanted to go out with you so that I could open your eyes. Step you down into the real world where the people are. I know you might say: "My eyes are open. You just don't realize it." But then, the truth:
" Confession of a shoujo manga fan #1: Forever alone. Admit it, you've never had a boyfriend yet, and no one bothers to date you because you're like that "weird" leading lady of the manga you're reading while expecting the prince charming to fall for you. It could be a senpai, a seatmate, a teacher... Butyou forget you're in the real world...
Then you ask, "Why isn't my life a shoujo manga!?" as you flip any table you see."
I just didn't want you to go in too deep because once your at the deep end, it takes a lot of effort to come back up. I know you're good in academics, that's why you're in PHSA. I just don't want you to get too in to it. You know.
Plus, since you'll probably ignore this part.
Any guy would be luck to have you. You're ravashing, intelligent, quirky, and just childish enough that even you could make a fool out of yourself. Plus, I didn't know this until now, but I do love you. I know it's too early, as you said. But it's true. I can't spend a day without going back to that day that you smiled and laughed. I didn't really mean for your celebration to go that way, but it did. And you were happy. That's all I want. Nothing more, nothing less.
Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.
-Gerald Jampolski
Trust me man, this coming from a guys who's had a girl he's really into be angry at him for over a year.
*finishes novel*
I'm not certain on the advice you're giving past that I shouldn't feel like it happened until after she says yes. Fortunately, she has! Thank you anyways!
I just looked up tl;dr in the dictionary and found this:
Quote from: theravenseye on March 11, 2015, 08:03:24 AM
Quote from: Thetrufflehunter on March 11, 2015, 12:42:08 AM
We did a lot of talking, and it's looking pretty good for our relationship. Thanks to you all!
Hey man, I know that you guys already worked this out, but just let me give you a smidgen of advice:
NEVER EVER feel like it's already happened until she says yes. And if you guys get into a fight, here's a template for what you could say:
I know right now you hate me. Hey, you've been hating me for a year
now(congratulations). But if I may just clear things up.
First of all, please don't ignore this. That's all I ask. I also know it seems selfish of me to ask such a thing as you're the one who got hurt. Just hear me out. Allow me to start of with a quote I recall from gradeschool:
"There will come a time when the unthinkable will happen. That will be the period at which our lives will cross again. All will begin anew, like the break of day."
- Anonymous
I know you aren't one to believe too much in fate, But if this is what the world wishes, it will be done. So, now comes the part where I explain things.
—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•
Last year, during the month of August I believe, I sent you my first text*. I texted you since I saw you during the Halloween Party when me and the rest were in Second Year. J texted you because I wanted to know how you were doing. I mean, I knew you since you we were in first grade. All throughout that span of time, friends came and went. I know I wasn't really close to you guys during grade school since I had friends of my own.
When we were in sixth grade after our graduation, I went with you guys to Shakey's** . I went because I wanted to tell you how I really felt. But then I saw something that discouraged me from such, so I refrained from doing so. Also, the accident in fifth grade was entirely my fault. I didn't mean to cause an overload in the circuitry of the tiny lightbulb. I should have been more careful. I also apologize for being super weird in grade school. Like that time I ate a chicken leg in front of you and Beatrice.
Yes, I know I'm getting off topic here. So here's my plethora of sentences all written with plenary and utter honesty.
When I told you I liked you, I felt awkward(naturally). But it was a good feeling. My consciousness never felt so free. I guess all I had to do was release an unshared memory. From then on, we texted regularly enough except when neither of us had any load. But the information I was withholding was that I was actually texting Aya and Beatrice at the same time. They were the ones who I could express my feelings about you to and proliferate from there on. You may be thinking that what I'm saying in complete and utter bullshit, but it's the truth. If you don't want to believe me, go ask Beatrice or Aya. They'll probably show it to you anyway. When a few months had passed since my confession, I had started to feel something . Deep down inside, I knew exactly what it meant. You might not have felt it, but I did. Yes, it was the emotion you said we should both stay away from for now since none of us knew what it actually meant, but I can't find any other word to describe the feeling. Through the shroud that was the emotion I felt for you, I was starting to become myopic. I kept on expressing through Aya, and she always replied a text of encouragement. I always felt more comfortable when I had the support of a friend. Then I committed the sin. I spread a rumor about us. At the time, I was on Cloud 9 and couldn't find a way off. I totally forgot o consider your life and how it might have affected you. 'Till now, I feel the dread that looms over me every single goddamned day. The rumor, it is a volatile tool that can improve or destroy another intangible concept. This rumor ran along the lines of the latter. If you could ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I don't know what I would do. Would I mess everything up again? Or maybe, this time, would I take a separate path? It all lies in your ability to believe. I know that when I asked you out to the promenade, you had a certain maybe. That's where the rumors had planted itself.
I don't deserve to have a friend like you. If we were still friends, you might be saying right now:
"It isn't about deservance. It's about how you properly asses the situation."
I know that anyone would be lucky to have you. Although I should piont out what a friend of mine said in a text:
"Bilang isang araw, bubukas din mata niya.
text? gm."
I only wanted to go out with you so that I could open your eyes. Step you down into the real world where the people are. I know you might say: "My eyes are open. You just don't realize it." But then, the truth:
" Confession of a shoujo manga fan #1: Forever alone. Admit it, you've never had a boyfriend yet, and no one bothers to date you because you're like that "weird" leading lady of the manga you're reading while expecting the prince charming to fall for you. It could be a senpai, a seatmate, a teacher... Butyou forget you're in the real world...
Then you ask, "Why isn't my life a shoujo manga!?" as you flip any table you see."
I just didn't want you to go in too deep because once your at the deep end, it takes a lot of effort to come back up. I know you're good in academics, that's why you're in PHSA. I just don't want you to get too in to it. You know.
Plus, since you'll probably ignore this part.
Any guy would be luck to have you. You're ravashing, intelligent, quirky, and just childish enough that even you could make a fool out of yourself. Plus, I didn't know this until now, but I do love you. I know it's too early, as you said. But it's true. I can't spend a day without going back to that day that you smiled and laughed. I didn't really mean for your celebration to go that way, but it did. And you were happy. That's all I want. Nothing more, nothing less.
Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.
-Gerald Jampolski
Trust me man, this coming from a guys who's had a girl he's really into be angry at him for over a year.