Mtg jokes (NSFW)

[Coffee Vampire]

Yo mommas so fat, she cascades into emrakul!

[MisterJH]

O.o we need to find a better source of jokes

[Birdbrain]

{Gideon, champion of justice} travels through eight planes defeating enormous hoards of monsters along the way. Searching for {lady zhurong, warrior queen} to rescuer her. Finally, on the eight world, he finds her in the clutches of {nicole bolas, planes walker} in his {castle}. after a grueling battle. He finally approaches the long lost queen and offers to take her back to her world...it turns into {Gideon, champion of justice}. Because its really {clone}. Then {clone} says "I'm sorry Gideon your queen is in another {castle}."

[Mlerner12]

Yo mommas so fat, she cascades into emrakul!

Yo mommas so dumb, she plays a {Battle of Wits} deck with less than 200 cards!

[Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth]

Yo mama's such a slut, she's been tapped more times than a basic island!

[Mlerner12]

Yo mama's such a slut,

Duuuuuuuude lol

And most {U} players run all non basics, as far as I know lol

Too far man!

[Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth]

Yo mama's such a slut,

Duuuuuuuude lol

And most {U} players run all non basics, as far as I know lol

Too far man!

Its from Cardboard Crack:

[Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth]

Here's another one:

[Mlerner12]

NSFW
All the Shocklands could be nicknames for a certain lady part
{hallowed fountain}
{breeding pool}
{steam vents}
{sacred foundry}
{overgrown tomb}
{watery grave}
{godless shrine}
{stomping ground}
{temple garden}
{blood crypt}

It makes TOO much sence!!!

too far bro, too far lol

And a few of them I don't get... Lol

[DimirOverlord1300]

The temple and shrine for make sense

[Mikefrompluto]

The temple and shrine for make sense

They both totally make sense. It's like a temple and a shrine.

[Silent1236]

NSFW
All the Shocklands could be nicknames for a certain lady part
{hallowed fountain}
{breeding pool}
{steam vents}
{sacred foundry}
{overgrown tomb}
{watery grave}
{godless shrine}
{stomping ground}
{temple garden}
{blood crypt}

It makes TOO much sence!!!

Hahaha {Watery Grave} got to me.

[Mikefrompluto]

NSFW
All the Shocklands could be nicknames for a certain lady part
{hallowed fountain}
{breeding pool}
{steam vents}
{sacred foundry}
{overgrown tomb}
{watery grave}
{godless shrine}
{stomping ground}
{temple garden}
{blood crypt}

It makes TOO much sence!!!

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. {Blood Crypt}. Oh man. My sides.

[Silent1236]

The more I think of those, the funnier (and stranger) it gets haha. {Blood Crypt}, {Watery Grave}, and {Overgrown Tomb} are my favorites. I probably laughed at those more than I should have

[Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth]

Courtesy of Spongebob:
Q: Why does it take more than one squirrel to screw in a lightbulb? A: Because they're so darn stupid!

Here is one I found online, because I Googled squirrel jokes.
Q: Why shouldn't you rape a tree? A: There might be a squirrel in there looking for nuts