Out of context quotes

[Taysby]

Take out of context quotes from your life and put them here

"There's a couple of 69's"  My religious father.

[blackychan1]

"There's a couple of 69's"  My religious father.

I'm dying! 😂

[Anoobass]

"Hold on, I have to get my strap-on."

- Friend at a party about to play guitar hero/rock band.

It's even funnier when u consider she was the only girl there, lol.

[Munchlax]

I have a whole page. However, I shall only post some of the better ones

It's never too early for lies

Because as is for after

Pen in the crotch

We can commit murder

If marriage, then Walrus

[LinkCelestrial]

"Kill him."
"He dead."
"Kill him."
*smack*

There was a bug in my sisters room.

[Remillo]

"I lost track of time and I'm drunk.  You need to pick me up"
"Dude, you're already at home"
"I know but I need to go out"

This was at about 4 PM, mind you

[Remillo]

"I lost track of time and I'm drunk.  You need to pick me up"
"Dude, you're already at home"
"I know but I need to go out"

This was at about 4 PM, mind you

Oh dear god...  please tell me you didn't pick him up.

It was my boss that got the call.  Speaking of my boss, and keeping with Out-of-Context-ness,
"You got Alzheimer's, you dumb [you know the word]!  Stop talking to me!"

[Mlerner12]

"It's so slippery!"
-my mom 😁

[Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth]

"Where's a big black d!ck when you need one?!?" -a girl while playing Cards Against Humanity, sadly not even really out of context.

[Dstyle1]

The sucking child will play on the hole of the asp.
My father again.

"That don't make no sense!"
O' brother where art thou

[jonrox3]

I wish i had genital piercings now!- A friend playing cah

[Apathy Reactor]

(It's not poison but)"if it was poison, then you would eat it, because that's the way you are."
My dear Father

[Anoobass]

whips, rope and fire.  some call that a dream date.

I sure as hell do!

[Apathy Reactor]

whips, rope and fire.  some call that a dream date.

I sure as hell do!

why would you want to date {Rakdos, Lord of Riots}?

[Anoobass]

I'm a masochist, when a chick pulls out the candle a drips the hot wax on me, that's when the fun starts.