I feel lonely, NSFW

[DylanW18]

I've felt lonely all my life, no matter who was there for me, and it's because I've never really loved myself because I blame myself for everything in my past (if youve read my older post like this, you know what im referring to)

Every night I feel so haunted and plagued by my past... And I just broke down and started crying so hard tonight, and still am..

I just want a night where I feel safe, and loved. Just one night where I can float away from reality and not hate myself every moment of the day... Just escape from the pain I've felt for so long.. My heart aches so bad from the never ending depression I live in... Nothing feels real anymore...

I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I don't mean to waste your time... It's just easier to say how I feel to people I've never really met...

I hope no one ever feels how I do every again..

[Gorzo]

Sometimes it's good to just vent. Don't think you're wasting our time! You aren't.

I've struggled with depression (and many other issues) for over 20 years now. I really do understand how you feel - I've been there. Hang in there. And know I'd be happy to chat if you need me.

It's probably tough to do, but if you aren't already, talk to your family about getting some help. I won't lie, it's a grueling process to find a doctor you can feel comfortable with and be open to, but once you find it, it can change the whole world. Same thing with meds.

[Apathy Reactor]

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling down. the only advice I can give is to not focus on the past, just look to the future and live in the present, and don't take for granted all the small things in life. I hope that you find relieve from your emotional pain. I'll be praying for you.

[LadyGrixis]

Well even though we've all never met in person, I think there's a definite bond of sorts that we've all built with one another on this site. Some people here provide strengths where others might be weak (I always run to Noblellama or Gorzo when I'm feeling upset or need a good laugh). And it's just really nice to know that a community like this exists where, even though we all might bicker a little, there is a massive amount of support and helpful critique from its members.

If you need to talk, there will always be people here to listen. And venting totally helps get out some of the anxiety that otherwise would just merinade in your mind. So it's a good practice to vent occasionally

PS: I'll let you borrow my cloud so you can feel free to float away any time you like

[Langku]

Darn it noblellama, I'm only allowed a +1 once a day.

Dylan, I was married to someone with depression. I didn't understand it as well then and it ultimately contributed to our divorce. My advice is to seek help from a counselor, find, as Llama said, methods for healthy introspection, and hold to healthy patterns in life (I find prayer, exercise, good eating, and sleep to be the magic elixer of happiness). For each of us the answers are different and for you it will be a struggle against the depression but hold to the things that give you joy. And good job reaching out here. You're never alone.

[Ertai]

What is NSFW?

[DylanW18]

Guys, you are so awesome... Thank you

[MuggyWuggy]

Ensure yourself that your decisions are to make you happy, not everyone else

Do not attempt to please the world or you'll go mad, just keep on truckin'

Life has constantly evolved for me, I'll be 30 this year and everything is in flux, but for the better.

Also, when you look back on your troubles, they will seem much smaller than they do currently