Twisted classics; "Romeo and Juliet"

[Missingkirby34]

Fr extra credit we were assigned to remake Romeo and Juliet, however we wanted. I think I have a fairly good start, so I am posting it here for advice and reviews;
Many households all with one thing in common, the loss of a child, a daughter, by the hand of a Montague.

As Romeo awoke he noticed the girls body next to him, knife clasped to her chest, her crimson blood still warm, the wound deep, just through the heart. He studied the body curiously, by now he should be used to seeing a corpse, but something about hers made him shudder. He shook his head to clear his mind and grabbed the girls body by the ankles and began to drag her away, as he did this he noted that the wound was still spewing the warm deep red liquid on the white tile floor. "It's only been thirty minutes" Romeo whispered out loud, pausing to examine his reflection in the blood soaked tiles. He put her with the rest, all twelve of them all in one small closet, the smell was almost unbearable. Romeo knew he had to do something with them but wasn't sure what, he considered burning them but he thought the smell would alert the neighbors. He considered cutting them up and putting them in his large freezer, he liked this idea the most. Sometimes if he was lonely he would go sit with them, the ones that loved him, he never thought about what he had done, he didn't like to think about it. Romeo had perfected his plan over the years, the only thing he would change now is the time it takes. He didn't want to wait months to get his rush, the one that came from seeing the dead body, surrounded by the crimson red that he loved, the color of his heart. No matter how much he liked his victim the plan always went the same way. He would date her for a few months, and then propose marriage. After he proposed marriage he would wait until one week before the wedding, then when his fiancée would come home she would find him dead on the floor. He made sure he looked, felt and acted dead, when his fiancée would see him she would go to the kitchen and find the sharpest knife they owned. She would walk over to Romeo, lay at his side and cry, sometimes this took hours, sometimes minutes, but eventually Romeo would feel the warmth of the crimson river flowing out of her body. He would continue to lie still for several minutes until he was sure she was dead, when he knew she would never move again, her soulless, lifeless body laying limp against his.

-Alex Collett

[Drewy]

Thats amazing! If thats not it please post the whole when u r done!

[Missingkirby34]

Definatley will

[Teysa karlov]

That was beautiful, such vivid imagery, I what this made in a film, and makes me think about Romeo & Juliet in a whole different much more interesting way 

+1 like

[Missingkirby34]

That was beautiful, such vivid imagery, I what this made in a film, and makes me think about Romeo & Juliet in a whole different much more interesting way 

+1 like

Thank you!!!!(:

[Missingkirby34]

Anyone else have feedback for me?

[Silent1236]

Pm'd already ;)

[Missingkirby34]

Should I post more? I have 3 "chapters" done

[Missingkirby34]

Thank you! I will definitely change that!

[Drewy]

Yes post more!