Best chuck Norris lines?

[Kareason]

Overgrown Chin
{B}{B}
Instant
Replace all instances of Chuck Norris with Bruce Campbell.

"Hail to the king baby!"

Chuck Norris can kill you. Bruce Campbell can talk you into doing it yourself.

[Mikefrompluto]

Overgrown Chin
{B}{B}
Instant
Replace all instances of Chuck Norris with Bruce Campbell.

"Hail to the king baby!"

Chuck Norris can kill you. Bruce Campbell can talk you into doing it yourself.

Exactly.

[Silent1236]

Chuck Norris pissed in a can, now we have Red Bull. 

[Quackmaster5]

Chuck Norris can't get a woman pregnant.
It has nothing to do with his fertility. No woman has ever survived the experience.

[BlackJester]

Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero.

Chuck Norris once beat Super Mario Bros. in 20 mins. Well, he actually just glared at it until it beat itself.

Chuck Norris cannot technically hit himself. That would mean an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

[Quackmaster5]

Chuck Norris can solve world peace. His rules.

When chuck Norris wants butter, he doesn't buy it from the store.  He roundhouse kicks the cow, the impact churns the milk into butter and shoots out into a solid stick.

[Rasser]

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the Earth down.

[Quackmaster5]

Chuck Norris doesn't bleed. He only gets rid of things unworthy.

[Poof]

It is said that the tears of chuck Norris can cure cancer.  Unfortunately chuck Norris has never cried.

[cltrn81]

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

[cltrn81]

Jesus may have walked on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

[cltrn81]

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck.  That semi truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

[cltrn81]

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

[Bluenote20]

Chuck Norris makes onion's cry.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

[BlackJester]

Jesus may have walked on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

one of my favs!