You as a creature card

[Killin88]

Kellen  2 {G}

Attempted Hook Up

"Whenever a pretty girl enters the battlefield talk to her for a month and then attempt to ask her out if it fails, tap Kellen and it deals 5 damage to itself."

2/5

"She's coming this way! Shitshitshitshit"

"QUICK, THINK OF A CATCHY PICKUP LINE!"

Kellen: UM UM UM, HEY BABY EVER HEARD OF ME?
Her: Ah, erm, no...
Kellen: OH, I'm a law keeper for Gideon Jura!
Her: ... I-
Kellen: AND IM GOING TO BE TAPPIN THAT ASS ALLLLLLLL NIGHT, JUST HOPE GIDEON DOES'NT SEE HE'LL KILL YOU IF HE SAW ME DOING SUCH