My 13 year old sister has a friend who just passed away yesterday morning. I can't fathom anything that girl could've done to deserve it, I've met her and she was really nice. It just feels like it's all for no greater good. How do you guys deal with this stuff?
I have kind of an abnormal outlook on it, but i'll share my view of death.
I have had a lot of people in my life pass away. As a child i never fully understood why and how it effected the people who still lived. Why they cried, etc. Even when my grandfather, who i loved dearly and got my sense of humor(and most of my jokes) from, i went to the funeral for him and while watching other people i never once felt like crying like them. In fact watching them cry and grieve, angered me.
I imagined what my grandfather would have thought looking over that room. He would have been appalled. There was one thing my grandfather hated and that was sadness. He would have wanted us to celebrate his life, not morn his death.
I read a quote shortly after my grandfathers funeral, and while i can't remember who said it, it was "a person dies twice in their life, once when they stop living, again when they stop being remembered."
I now celebrate my friends when they pass. I don't throw a party but i do something to remember and cherish their life once a year.
For example me and my greatuncle would take these cheesy shirtless flexing pictures each sumner when i visited him. i started taking one each summer just on my own, and now my nephew does it with me. And each time I do, i remember my goofy uncle.
I've never really been sad. I've been to enough funerals that I can never remember them all.
My emotions are a disaster. My sympathy and compassion are rare feelings. When people die I usually think about the afterlife and the reactions of those around me. I have morbid daydreams about people dying and it doesn't really affect me. I just don't really have an emotional response.
The thing that really gets me is that after someone dies everyone gets together in a room to cry and talk about how great they were. When someone dies everyone seems to forget the bad. I hate it when everyone says they were a perfect angel and they're going to heaven. How on earth would you know? There's some guy up front going on and on /but he hasn't even met them/ you /paid/ him to be here. How the hell is that right?
That being said I have been to funerals where somebody that knew them talked about them. It's way better but they still sugar coat everything.
All that being said I'm not an .rearexit. at funerals. I keep to myself, I make sure everyone that needs Kleenex has it. I make sure I'm there for as many people as I can be. I swap stories when I can. I do my best to be helpful
I've personally always wanted to make my own video eulogy. Talk .poo. about myself. Tell my life story. Who can judge me when I'm dead? Maybe it'll help someone. Either way it's better than some guy I don't know.
I had a friend who's not dead yet, although I know she's thinking about it(We're both diagnosed with depression). The best thing you can do is to stay with your loved ones and comfort them. Telling them all is well and hope the deceased have gone on to better places.