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Plus => Fun Stuff => Topic started by: Killin88 on April 11, 2012, 10:17:20 AM

Title: Mtg jokes (NSFW)
Post by: Killin88 on April 11, 2012, 10:17:20 AM
I wanna hear em. If she thinks karn is the original leader of the artifacts shes to young for you bro...
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: DirtyMustachio on April 11, 2012, 06:31:19 PM
Girl you so fine, you must be a mythic rare
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: DirtyMustachio on April 11, 2012, 06:35:03 PM
You had better keep your {hand of death} off my white weenie.
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: BlackJester on April 11, 2012, 06:42:52 PM
One of my faves:

"If you're Havengul problems, I feel bad for you son.  I got 99 problems but a Lich ain't one!"
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: DirtyMustachio on April 11, 2012, 06:50:42 PM
^Lolololololol
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: DirtyMustachio on April 11, 2012, 07:02:59 PM
When Garruk and his girlfriend JENNAY turn lands into creatures and attack with them, they always shout, " Run {forest}, Run!"
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Fenster on April 11, 2012, 08:31:14 PM
When it comes to women, Jace aint much for the chase. No need to wonder, he doesnt use {Ponder}. at the Mardri Gras, he knows exactly what he'll draw.

Super stupid jace rap verse.
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Killin88 on April 11, 2012, 09:06:34 PM
Quote from: BlackJester on April 11, 2012, 06:42:52 PM
One of my faves:

"If you're Havengul problems, I feel bad for you son.  I got 99 problems but a Lich ain't one!"
i want to hear moaarrr
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: BlackJester on April 11, 2012, 09:27:53 PM
🎶if ya havin' tappin' problems, I feel bad fo ya son.  I got 99 problems but a {Twitch} ain't one!🎶
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: DirtyMustachio on April 11, 2012, 09:50:20 PM
Quote from: BlackJester on April 11, 2012, 09:27:53 PM
🎶if ya havin' tappin' problems, I feel bad fo ya son.  I got 99 problems but a {Twitch} ain't one!🎶

Quote from: BlackJester on April 11, 2012, 09:27:53 PM
🎶if ya havin' tappin' problems, I feel bad fo ya son.  I got 99 problems but a {Twitch} ain't one!🎶


If you having rat problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 relentless {(relentless rats}) but a bog ({bog rats}) ain't one
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: 1337m00nm4n on April 11, 2012, 10:45:00 PM
I would post something, but it's too nsfw for this thread...
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Rasser on April 11, 2012, 11:06:32 PM
Thanks guys now I got that song stuck in my head. (Hugo version)
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: remasuri ger on April 14, 2012, 03:46:26 AM
You should stop playing Magic when you try to Jump into the Mana Pool
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: 1337m00nm4n on April 14, 2012, 07:57:26 PM
Whenever we play {thrun, the last lol} or {troll asscetic}, someone has to start singing, "DA NA NA NA, NA NA, can't touch this! ;)
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: KulrathKnight on November 15, 2012, 07:18:26 PM
Threadsurrection! Wanted to bring this thread {Back from the Brink} to see what other jokes people might make.

It may seem about as useful as a Sorcery-speed {Counterspell}, but I'd rather do this than make a new thread.
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: AgrusKos on November 15, 2012, 07:48:03 PM
🎶If you having control problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a {Counterspell} ain't one🎶
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: AgrusKos on November 17, 2012, 08:03:49 PM
Scene, Mirrodin in the past

{Melira, Sylvok Outcast} is being tormented like the pariah she is

Scene, When the Mirrans need help

"Melira, please help us!!!"

Melira: "Screw you! I can survive, I'm immune to the infection"
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Gideons left foot on November 17, 2012, 10:26:36 PM
girls like guys with big decks, better get to making those {battle of wits} decks guys ;)
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 12:24:08 AM
Quote from: Gideons left foot on November 17, 2012, 10:26:36 PM
girls like guys with big decks, better get to making those {battle of wits} decks guys ;)




(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/if-you-know-what-i-mean.png)
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Jroch314 on November 18, 2012, 01:45:10 AM
Quote from: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 12:24:08 AM
Quote from: Gideons left foot on November 17, 2012, 10:26:36 PM
girls like guys with big decks, better get to making those {battle of wits} decks guys ;)




(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/if-you-know-what-i-mean.png)
(http://4.mshcdn.com/wp-content/gallery/10-top-barack-obama-memes/obama-not-bad.jpg)
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 01:49:01 AM
Quote from: Jroch314 on November 18, 2012, 01:45:10 AM
Quote from: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 12:24:08 AM
Quote from: Gideons left foot on November 17, 2012, 10:26:36 PM
girls like guys with big decks, better get to making those {battle of wits} decks guys ;)




(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/if-you-know-what-i-mean.png)
(http://4.mshcdn.com/wp-content/gallery/10-top-barack-obama-memes/obama-not-bad.jpg)

(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001706661/2228474288_tumblr_lcyuywnYml1qdr9hr_xlarge.png)
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Fishsticks123 on November 18, 2012, 10:39:42 AM
Quote from: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 01:49:01 AM
Quote from: Jroch314 on November 18, 2012, 01:45:10 AM
Quote from: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 12:24:08 AM
Quote from: Gideons left foot on November 17, 2012, 10:26:36 PM
girls like guys with big decks, better get to making those {battle of wits} decks guys ;)




(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/if-you-know-what-i-mean.png)
(http://4.mshcdn.com/wp-content/gallery/10-top-barack-obama-memes/obama-not-bad.jpg)

(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001706661/2228474288_tumblr_lcyuywnYml1qdr9hr_xlarge.png)

Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Fishsticks123 on November 18, 2012, 10:40:34 AM
Quote from: Fishsticks123 on November 18, 2012, 10:39:42 AM
Quote from: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 01:49:01 AM
Quote from: Jroch314 on November 18, 2012, 01:45:10 AM
Quote from: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 12:24:08 AM
Quote from: Gideons left foot on November 17, 2012, 10:26:36 PM
girls like guys with big decks, better get to making those {battle of wits} decks guys ;)




(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/if-you-know-what-i-mean.png)
(http://4.mshcdn.com/wp-content/gallery/10-top-barack-obama-memes/obama-not-bad.jpg)

(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001706661/2228474288_tumblr_lcyuywnYml1qdr9hr_xlarge.png)

Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: KulrathKnight on November 18, 2012, 05:07:07 PM
Quote from: Fishsticks123 on November 18, 2012, 10:40:34 AM
Quote from: Fishsticks123 on November 18, 2012, 10:39:42 AM
Quote from: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 01:49:01 AM
Quote from: Jroch314 on November 18, 2012, 01:45:10 AM
Quote from: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 12:24:08 AM
Quote from: Gideons left foot on November 17, 2012, 10:26:36 PM
girls like guys with big decks, better get to making those {battle of wits} decks guys ;)




(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/if-you-know-what-i-mean.png)
(http://4.mshcdn.com/wp-content/gallery/10-top-barack-obama-memes/obama-not-bad.jpg)

(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001706661/2228474288_tumblr_lcyuywnYml1qdr9hr_xlarge.png)

Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
are you? Who-who, who-who?
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Killin88 on November 18, 2012, 05:39:57 PM
MFW i was a freshman when i posted this
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Monrodesign on November 18, 2012, 05:42:54 PM
 {Gravecrawler} crawled into a cemetery and said, "Yolo."
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 06:12:42 PM
Quote from: Monrodesign on November 18, 2012, 05:42:54 PM
{Gravecrawler} crawled into a cemetery and said, "Yolo."
{Murderous Redcap} and {Melira, Sylvok Outcast} were hanging out one day when some {Fog Elemental} ran past and shouted "YOLO!!!". Redcap and Melira looked at each other and Redcap killed himself, to shut that elemental up. Than an {Air Elemental} came up and said "Dafuq dude!" Redcap responded with "YOLO!!!" And killed himself again. Watch out YOLO, the Redcap is coming for you
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 06:12:42 PM
Quote from: Monrodesign on November 18, 2012, 05:42:54 PM
{Gravecrawler} crawled into a cemetery and said, "Yolo."
{Murderous Redcap} and {Melira, Sylvok Outcast} were hanging out one day when some {Fog Elemental} ran past and shouted "YOLO!!!". Redcap and Melira looked at each other and Redcap killed himself, to shut that elemental up. Than an {Air Elemental} came up and said "Dafuq dude!" Redcap responded with "YOLO!!!" And killed himself again. Watch out YOLO, the Redcap is coming for you.
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: darkarts981 on November 18, 2012, 08:27:20 PM
Quote from: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 01:49:01 AM
Quote from: Jroch314 on November 18, 2012, 01:45:10 AM
Quote from: AgrusKos on November 18, 2012, 12:24:08 AM
Quote from: Gideons left foot on November 17, 2012, 10:26:36 PM
girls like guys with big decks, better get to making those {battle of wits} decks guys ;)




(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/if-you-know-what-i-mean.png)
(http://4.mshcdn.com/wp-content/gallery/10-top-barack-obama-memes/obama-not-bad.jpg)

(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001706661/2228474288_tumblr_lcyuywnYml1qdr9hr_xlarge.png)
(http://c1.dmlimg.com/2e5c93fc5fcb277c88837e18ff8cc0453329ce1e77bb1011bc68fad71a837da3.jpg)

USE ALL THE MEMES!!
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Rasser on November 19, 2012, 10:39:30 PM
Why didn't  {Cockatrice} cross the  {Wasteland}?
















Because it was enchanted with  {Guardian Zendikon}
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Coffee Vampire on January 07, 2013, 05:32:44 PM
Yo mommas so fat, she cascades into emrakul!
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: MisterJH on January 07, 2013, 06:07:48 PM
O.o we need to find a better source of jokes
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Birdbrain on January 07, 2013, 06:45:15 PM
{Gideon, champion of justice} travels through eight planes defeating enormous hoards of monsters along the way. Searching for {lady zhurong, warrior queen} to rescuer her. Finally, on the eight world, he finds her in the clutches of {nicole bolas, planes walker} in his {castle}. after a grueling battle. He finally approaches the long lost queen and offers to take her back to her world...it turns into {Gideon, champion of justice}. Because its really {clone}. Then {clone} says "I'm sorry Gideon your queen is in another {castle}."
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Mlerner12 on November 10, 2013, 07:20:06 PM
Quote from: Coffee Vampire on January 07, 2013, 05:32:44 PM
Yo mommas so fat, she cascades into emrakul!
Yo mommas so dumb, she plays a {Battle of Wits} deck with less than 200 cards!
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth on November 10, 2013, 07:26:44 PM
Yo mama's such a slut, she's been tapped more times than a basic island!
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Mlerner12 on November 10, 2013, 07:28:41 PM
Quote from: Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth on November 10, 2013, 07:26:44 PM
Yo mama's such a slut,
Duuuuuuuude lol :P

And most {U} players run all non basics, as far as I know :P lol

Too far man!
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth on November 10, 2013, 07:30:25 PM
Quote from: Mlerner12 on November 10, 2013, 07:28:41 PM
Quote from: Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth on November 10, 2013, 07:26:44 PM
Yo mama's such a slut,
Duuuuuuuude lol :P

And most {U} players run all non basics, as far as I know :P lol

Too far man!
Its from Cardboard Crack:
(http://31.media.tumblr.com/11f9ab4b0115052b2b63f59498679646/tumblr_ml0bt7O2U61s9rpajo1_r1_500.gif)
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth on November 10, 2013, 07:32:20 PM
Here's another one:
(http://31.media.tumblr.com/11f9ab4b0115052b2b63f59498679646/tumblr_ml0bt7O2U61s9rpajo1_r1_500.gif)
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Mlerner12 on November 10, 2013, 08:29:01 PM
Quote from: Taysby on November 10, 2013, 08:26:19 PM
NSFW
All the Shocklands could be nicknames for a certain lady part
{hallowed fountain}
{breeding pool}
{steam vents}
{sacred foundry}
{overgrown tomb}
{watery grave}
{godless shrine}
{stomping ground}
{temple garden}
{blood crypt}

It makes TOO much sence!!!
:o too far bro, too far lol

And a few of them I don't get... Lol
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: DimirOverlord1300 on November 10, 2013, 08:36:08 PM
The temple and shrine for make sense
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Mikefrompluto on November 10, 2013, 08:42:23 PM
Quote from: DimirOverlord1300 on November 10, 2013, 08:36:08 PM
The temple and shrine for make sense

They both totally make sense. It's like a temple and a shrine.
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Silent1236 on November 10, 2013, 09:06:28 PM
Quote from: Taysby on November 10, 2013, 08:26:19 PM
NSFW
All the Shocklands could be nicknames for a certain lady part
{hallowed fountain}
{breeding pool}
{steam vents}
{sacred foundry}
{overgrown tomb}
{watery grave}
{godless shrine}
{stomping ground}
{temple garden}
{blood crypt}

It makes TOO much sence!!!

Hahaha {Watery Grave} got to me.
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Mikefrompluto on November 10, 2013, 09:22:36 PM
Quote from: Taysby on November 10, 2013, 08:26:19 PM
NSFW
All the Shocklands could be nicknames for a certain lady part
{hallowed fountain}
{breeding pool}
{steam vents}
{sacred foundry}
{overgrown tomb}
{watery grave}
{godless shrine}
{stomping ground}
{temple garden}
{blood crypt}

It makes TOO much sence!!!

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. {Blood Crypt}. Oh man. My sides.
Title: Re: Mtg jokes (NSFW)
Post by: Silent1236 on November 10, 2013, 09:27:21 PM
The more I think of those, the funnier (and stranger) it gets haha. {Blood Crypt}, {Watery Grave}, and {Overgrown Tomb} are my favorites. I probably laughed at those more than I should have :P
Title: Re: Mtg jokes (NSFW)
Post by: Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth on November 10, 2013, 10:24:09 PM
Courtesy of Spongebob:
Q: Why does it take more than one squirrel to screw in a lightbulb? A: Because they're so darn stupid!

Here is one I found online, because I Googled squirrel jokes.
Q: Why shouldn't you rape a tree? A: There might be a squirrel in there looking for nuts
Title: Re: Mtg jokes (NSFW)
Post by: Steerpike on November 11, 2013, 03:07:30 AM
Just picturing {Steam Vents} as a euphemism is hilarious lol
Title: Re: Mtg jokes
Post by: Kaleo42 on November 12, 2013, 03:41:56 PM
Quote from: Taysby on November 10, 2013, 08:26:19 PM
NSFW
All the Shocklands could be nicknames for a certain lady part
{hallowed fountain}
{breeding pool}
{steam vents}
{sacred foundry}
{overgrown tomb}
{watery grave}
{godless shrine}
{stomping ground}
{temple garden}
{blood crypt}

It makes TOO much sence!!!
I wanted to explore her {Stomping Ground} so I asked her to show me her {Hallowed Fountain}. She told me it was a {Sacred Foundry}. When I finally saw her {Breeding Pool} it was not a {Temple Garden}, but an {Overgrown Tomb}. When I finally reached her {Steam Vents} I discovered it was actually a {Blood Crypt}. That is how I met a {Watery Grave} in a {Godless Shrine}.
Title: Re: Mtg jokes (NSFW)
Post by: Agrus Kos, Enforcer of Truth on November 12, 2013, 05:21:23 PM
Quote from: Noblellama on November 12, 2013, 03:43:51 PM
Wow....
The only thing that can be said about that...
Title: Re: Mtg jokes (NSFW)
Post by: Vileo on November 12, 2013, 05:47:48 PM
So many lols