So this post is kinda weird. I guess I need to vent my thoughts and feelings
Me and Savannah dated for a year and a half. Things were hard, as both of us suffered from deep depression. Hers came out in self harm. Mine came out in purposefully doing things I shouldn't in order to have reasons I hate myself. Mainly cheating, a lot
She found out tonight, and promptly left. At first I was in shock and hurt because I was scared of losing her, but now, I'm not sure how I feel. I can't tell if I legitimately feel bad, or just because I got caught. I've had that issue all my life
I'd like to think I truly loved her... But now I'm questioning what love even feels like, or what I truly want in life. I do know that I want her to find someone who doesn't hurt her though. But that feeling could be from a platonic place, and not of love.
I guess I just don't feel anything. I never really have, and I'm not sure if that bothers me
I just put on masks everywhere, all the time.
Who am I?
You asked who you were. You are only human. Just like the rest of us. We all have our flaws and things that make us who we are. Try and find those things. And also you should probably see a doctor
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 15, 2014, 12:24:16 AM
So this post is kinda weird. I guess I need to vent my thoughts and feelings
Me and Savannah dated for a year and a half. Things were hard, as both of us suffered from deep depression. Hers came out in self harm. Mine came out in purposefully doing things I shouldn't in order to have reasons I hate myself. Mainly cheating, a lot
She found out tonight, and promptly left. At first I was in shock and hurt because I was scared of losing her, but now, I'm not sure how I feel. I can't tell if I legitimately feel bad, or just because I got caught. I've had that issue all my life
I'd like to think I truly loved her... But now I'm questioning what love even feels like, or what I truly want in life. I do know that I want her to find someone who doesn't hurt her though. But that feeling could be from a platonic place, and not of love.
I guess I just don't feel anything. I never really have, and I'm not sure if that bothers me
I just put on masks everywhere, all the time.
Who am I?
I know how you feel.
I lost a girl I dated for 2 years. We went through a lot togethor. She would hurt herself and I would calm her down. That didn't ever help. She ended up commuting suicide because her life was "bad," even though I helped her.
That set me off the hook. I was screaming and raging and asking myself why I didn't stop her. I couldn't stop her. It was in the girls bathroom with a rope.
I started cutting, and my parents found out. I didn't tell them why, but they helped me through it by taking me to a psychiatrist.
You should go to a psychiatrist too.
I know I should overcome my depression.. I've been trying for so long, since I was about 12. It's just so hard to fix it. Everything in me is so knotted and tangled that it's a bomb trap to try.
I just wish I didn't hurt her so much. I know I'm only 19 and maybe it wasn't true love or anything, but one thing I do know is that she never deserved any of what I did. She was the sweetest girl in the world, even if she was depressed
I just don't see a way I could be loved. And I'm not saying that from my depression, but from a logical standpoint. I have lots of NSFW needs, and it's hard to explain over forums, but the jist is that there couldn't be anyone else who could accept me. And even if they did I would probably just cheat on them too because I have no respect for my partners. I try to but I think I'm just hardwired wrong
Dude it's not like you're "hardwired" wrong. It's called be human. I suffer from debilitating depression and anxiety issues on a daily basis as well. I have my own issues with their own levels of severity. Now this may sounds blunt, and correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds as if you have an addiction to a certain something that is above Pg-9 level that I'm not sure I can mention but I think you get the point. I have similar issues, and let me tell you that it is the root of your depression. My depression is founded in my struggles with lust. And so first you must recognize that that is unhealthy and that is affecting you psychologically. Then find someone you can trust. Lots of people here are saying a doctor and that's all fine and great but to me it's a group of solid friends I can trust. Find those people or that person, they'll help you through this breakup and out of your rut. It's all apart of being human and having struggles, man. I say this from my heart and I hope for your well being.
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 15, 2014, 03:19:07 PM
I know I should overcome my depression.. I've been trying for so long, since I was about 12. It's just so hard to fix it. Everything in me is so knotted and tangled that it's a bomb trap to try.
I just wish I didn't hurt her so much. I know I'm only 19 and maybe it wasn't true love or anything, but one thing I do know is that she never deserved any of what I did. She was the sweetest girl in the world, even if she was depressed
I just don't see a way I could be loved. And I'm not saying that from my depression, but from a logical standpoint. I have lots of NSFW needs, and it's hard to explain over forums, but the jist is that there couldn't be anyone else who could accept me. And even if they did I would probably just cheat on them too because I have no respect for my partners. I try to but I think I'm just hardwired wrong
You need to get help. A psychiatrist will help you, and you need to find someone you trust and someone that trusts you.
This is totally my opinion, but I don't believe you're "hard wired" wrong, I think you're just a 19 year old guy. Basically every guy between the ages of 12 to mid-twenties wants sex. Like, all the time. Even if they don't admit it :P. I've always been a big fan of diversion for things like that. Every time you think you wanna go do the deed, switch topics. Think of something else, go do something else. This is one of those things that is easier said than done, but it can be done!
As for the depression, that's a sticky situation. The only advice I've got is to just look forward. No sense dawdling in the past. That can't be changed. All you can do now is learn and grow. In the words of Suicide Silence (lolwut?) ".love. your past. The future is in your hands." Everyone has their own way of coping. My advice there is to just make sure to keep things positive. Coping negatively helps nothing.
You'll find out who you are! You're a young lad! You've much growing to do! Take every hit as a new experience. Also, learn to give advice better than me! :))
Quote from: Silent1236 on March 15, 2014, 10:40:06 PM
This is totally my opinion, but I don't believe you're "hard wired" wrong, I think you're just a 19 year old guy. Basically every guy between the ages of 12 to mid-twenties wants sex. Like, all the time. Even if they don't admit it :P. I've always been a big fan of diversion for things like that. Every time you think you wanna go do the deed, switch topics. Think of something else, go do something else. This is one of those things that is easier said than done, but it can be done!
As for the depression, that's a sticky situation. The only advice I've got is to just look forward. No sense dawdling in the past. That can't be changed. All you can do now is learn and grow. In the words of Suicide Silence (lolwut?) ".love. your past. The future is in your hands." Everyone has their own way of coping. My advice there is to just make sure to keep things positive. Coping negatively helps nothing.
You'll find out who you are! You're a young lad! You've much growing to do! Take every hit as a new experience. Also, learn to give advice better than me! :))
2 things.
1.I love Suicide Silence.
2.You are my new role model.
U cud smoke some weed it's an anti depressent and anti anxiety :)
My opinion on cheating is that if you cheat you did not love someone. I have had it done so much to me. I did it too technically but I know why. And I know how depression feels.
Quote from: Cipher89 on March 16, 2014, 04:12:48 AM
U cud smoke some weed it's an anti depressent and anti anxiety :)
Be careful with that. Weed is a powerful tool and if you are struggling with yourself the way you described, you should not use it. In big percentage of people it exaggerates your feelings, if you are down you can go even deeper. It can help you put things into different perspective and make new connections in your brain, ultimately solving your problem, but tread carefully.
Quote from: Piotr on March 16, 2014, 05:42:20 AM
Quote from: Cipher89 on March 16, 2014, 04:12:48 AM
U cud smoke some weed it's an anti depressent and anti anxiety :)
Be careful with that. Weed is a powerful tool and if you are struggling with yourself the way you described, you should not use it. In big percentage of people it exaggerates your feelings, if you are down you can go even deeper. It can help you put things into different perspective and make new connections in your brain, ultimately solving your problem, but tread carefully.
I think it was a joke... Oh well, thank you for the lecture though
No I was not joking in combination with some anti depressents it has a greater chance to help I use it and I'm also on anti depressents I also go to counsling as we'll and both my psychiatrist and counselor have said if it helps don't stop. I find that it helps instantly with ne sort of frustration agitatation depression anxiety think wut u want but I find it to extreamly helpful
Don't you need to ask permission for that in most areas?
Most anti depressants end up doing more damage than mmj
Really he shouldn't take any advice given here that deals with any substance. You should talk to a doctor and professionals.
Quote from: AdamS on March 16, 2014, 08:52:19 PM
Quote from: Walkhard on March 16, 2014, 08:02:10 PM
Really he shouldn't take any advice given here that deals with any substance. You should talk to a doctor and professionals.
you cant say not to follow the advise then advise to got to doctor when going to the doctor was one of the first posts :P
that was confusing
I was saying the posts dealing specificly with weed or anti depression drugs or what ever else. It's perfectly fine to ask for help and talk about these things but when it comes to drugs of any kind seek the opinion of your doctor.
Walk it off
Quote from: AdamS on March 16, 2014, 08:52:19 PM
Quote from: Walkhard on March 16, 2014, 08:02:10 PM
Really he shouldn't take any advice given here that deals with any substance. You should talk to a doctor and professionals.
you cant say not to follow the advise then advise to got to doctor when going to the doctor was one of the first posts :P
I was replying to that lol. Sorry.
Quote from: MtgCollector666 on March 16, 2014, 09:59:56 PM
Cocainus in the anus
This is a serious thread, with someone asking for help. Please don't post random things here, keep it to the "Fun Stuff".
I wasn't trying to make light of him askin for help i was just givin advice just like the rest of u though it cud have been in a more constructive manner and for that I'm sry. I was just tryin to use wut I have learned myself as a human being to help another if I came off as childish or absurd I'm sry that u feel that way but it's based off of my life experience that it has helped and tybsy we all have our vices wut urs?
I did not understand half of what cipher said. Could someone translate it into proper English?
Quote from: Taysby on March 16, 2014, 09:58:50 PM
I was just saying that [marijuana] gets you high and doesn't help with depression. That has been scientifically proven.
Hmm? Could you tell me more, please? I have a friend with depression and I was checking this very subject the other day, couldn't find anything scientifically proven?
Quote from: Piotr on March 17, 2014, 04:16:44 AM
Quote from: Taysby on March 16, 2014, 09:58:50 PM
I was just saying that [marijuana] gets you high and doesn't help with depression. That has been scientifically proven.
Hmm? Could you tell me more, please? I have a friend with depression and I was checking this very subject the other day, couldn't find anything scientifically proven?
It's a part of my job to help people like this. Granted it isn't scientifically proven, but it's generally agreed that it doesn't help due to the fact that you then develop a dependency to the drug. That is worse than depression and then you do t have the drug so you get depressed because of that. It just doesn't seem to help out.
Quote from: Piotr on March 17, 2014, 04:16:44 AM
Quote from: Taysby on March 16, 2014, 09:58:50 PM
I was just saying that [marijuana] gets you high and doesn't help with depression. That has been scientifically proven.
Hmm? Could you tell me more, please? I have a friend with depression and I was checking this very subject the other day, couldn't find anything scientifically proven?
It's a part of my job to help people like this. Granted it isn't scientifically proven, but it's generally agreed that it doesn't help due to the fact that you then develop a dependency to the drug. That is worse than depression and then you do t have the drug so you get depressed because of that. It just doesn't seem to help out.
Quote from: Sparkle Ninja on March 17, 2014, 08:35:06 AM
Quote from: Piotr on March 17, 2014, 04:16:44 AM
Quote from: Taysby on March 16, 2014, 09:58:50 PM
I was just saying that [marijuana] gets you high and doesn't help with depression. That has been scientifically proven.
Hmm? Could you tell me more, please? I have a friend with depression and I was checking this very subject the other day, couldn't find anything scientifically proven?
It's a part of my job to help people like this. Granted it isn't scientifically proven, but it's generally agreed that it doesn't help due to the fact that you then develop a dependency to the drug. That is worse than depression and then you do t have the drug so you get depressed because of that. It just doesn't seem to help out.
I see. Do you mind me asking what kind of job? Define 'generally agreed' and 'dependency to the drug', if you could?
I don't mean to be a jerk but could we stay on topic please... Please start your own thread about this. And Weed or any otger illicit substance is a no go for me.
I just... Get really lost. I spend most of my time looking up cheap, fast, painless, and quick ways to commit suicide. And it's not losing my girlfriend I'm even upset about, it's my failures as a human being
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 17, 2014, 04:42:39 PM
I just... Get really lost. I spend most of my time looking up cheap, fast, painless, and quick ways to commit suicide. And it's not losing my girlfriend I'm even upset about, it's my failures as a human being
Trust me, the absolute worst thing you could do is end it. I've gone through two close friends of the family hanging themselves in the past six months, and it solves nothing. Everyone is still trying to cope after so long. Not to sound rude, but suicide is the most heartless and selfish thing someone can do.
Quote from: Silent1236 on March 17, 2014, 05:44:05 PM
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 17, 2014, 04:42:39 PM
I just... Get really lost. I spend most of my time looking up cheap, fast, painless, and quick ways to commit suicide. And it's not losing my girlfriend I'm even upset about, it's my failures as a human being
Trust me, the absolute worst thing you could do is end it. I've gone through two close friends of the family hanging themselves in the past six months, and it solves nothing. Everyone is still trying to cope after so long. Not to sound rude, but suicide is the most heartless and selfish thing someone can do.
too true, if you won't carry on for yourself, carry on for those that love you. You may think you are the most despicable human on the planet, but you are your parent's child, your sibling's brother, your friend's friend, or your child's parent. Even when the pain seems too great to cope with, press forth, if not for yourself, for them.
One of my best friends and some I consider my brother in all but blood, is a was a extremely depressed and try to off him self but I stopped him a couple of times. He was on all kind if medication. It was not working. He managed to over come his problem by hang out with his mates more and living life. (And tad more alcohol than us healthy) and he stopped taking his meds. And I saw in the other day when i visited him at university. Had I have never seen a happier dude ever, even though he though the girl he had been dating had left him the week before.
So all I can say to you my friend is to remember the good time you had with your ex. To hang out with your mates more. Play some magic with sone silly combo decks. Try and have fun and laugh. It may sound like the advice everyone gives. But I've seen this approach to life change my friend from a dude of the razor's edge to man with everything to live for.
Thanks for the advice guys. I really appreciate it. Honestly, things aren't any better, but it's nice to know you guys care..
Quote from: Silent1236 on March 17, 2014, 05:44:05 PM
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 17, 2014, 04:42:39 PM
I just... Get really lost. I spend most of my time looking up cheap, fast, painless, and quick ways to commit suicide. And it's not losing my girlfriend I'm even upset about, it's my failures as a human being
Trust me, the absolute worst thing you could do is end it. I've gone through two close friends of the family hanging themselves in the past six months, and it solves nothing. Everyone is still trying to cope after so long. Not to sound rude, but suicide is the most heartless and selfish thing someone can do.
I hate to be that guy, but there are far worse things a person could do than kill themselves. I agree that it's a bad idea though.
Look at it like this. You have to appreciate the lows and understand that if you only had good times then the good times would seem bad. So you may be in the pit right now but sooner or Lester you will be peaking again. This winter sucked for most people. So soon the spring will be here and it will get better
I'm 23 and in my eyes it has happened to almost most of us it's a learning experience even tho are minds tell us differently we can only look at it and learn. And bout the smokeing I agree with him. Known to many states to help with different mental illnesses and seizers it's only a gate way drug if you let it it's only perceived by our brain and the chemicals in our brain and there are different strains ones to pick you up and give you energy and ones that calm you down and relax you tho I do it medically I would do it if I want medical I will never tell someone to do it for it not our place to tell people what they should do it's up to people themselves were all here for you man my daughter was takin from me when I went off the deep end now she is 4 and I don't see her it kills. But we all live. Love the life you have for what you have now in my eyes were all a family and were here for you.
You shouldn't have cheated on her. I feel 0 sympathy for you.
I don't understand why people are trying to rationalize it.
Quote from: Stromack on March 19, 2014, 04:42:06 PM
You shouldn't have cheated on her. I feel 0 sympathy for you.
I don't understand why people are trying to rationalize it.
Because we understand what he's going through. Many of us have had or still have severe depression and it actually makes sense to hurt yourself in one way or another just to feel something.
Weed isn't a gateway drug....
I know it's not but to a lot of people who don't understand it thinks it is and blames it for the use of other drugs
Ugh: stop blaming drugs
It's terrible parenting that's the problem.
Everyone will have some form of "clinical mental illness" in this modern age.
We have moments of clarity from time to time but we are still human and have to feel the low end of the emotion spectrum from time to time.
I agree with Stromack: you did cheat, don't use excuses to cheat. You're upset now because you lost someone in your life for wronging their trust.
Don't do it again to the next one you care about.
Quote from: Muggywuggy on March 20, 2014, 10:21:39 AM
It's terrible parenting that's the problem.
Yes, but I do not blame parents. If we compare level of taxation now with the level of taxation 100 years ago*, small wonder that both parents must work outside of home to make ends meet. Looking from my European Union** perspective, taxes are half of the money earned for most of the working people, and it gets worse and worse if you are successful enough. So both parents work and the responsibility for the children's upbringing is up to the school, which in UK starts at 4 years old. Did you know that homeschooling is a criminal offence in Germany?
* Income tax was 0% in USA until 1916, yes or no? ;)
** I live in UK.
Interesting about home schooling being illegal in Germany
It's a messed up catch 22 with current society. Need to make that money to raise your kid, but you also need to put a ton of time into making that money. Kids ain't cheap that's for sure.
True far from it. I have two girls one 4, and one just turned 2 leap day baby so march 1st is her bday. My two year old loves cards I'm teaching her young. My daughters keep me going in this world so I give it my all when it comes to my two princesses. But in a house with nothing but women kind of blows too much estrogen.
HEH wait until they are in the teens
😵😵😵😵😵😵😵😵
Oh man I know. If they are how I was damn it's going to be a long battle lol. I hope when they get to that age I'm the favorite but responsible parent mom can be the bad guy lol. And since both my daughters are learning how to play magic maybe they will grow up to play Fnm and other tourneys with me.
Please stay on topic on my threads... If no one else has advice/comments about the topic, please move conversations somewhere else..
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 20, 2014, 02:45:56 PM
Please stay on topic on my threads... If no one else has advice/comments about the topic, please move conversations somewhere else..
On the topic you just raised: Patrons can moderate their own threads. Just saying ;)
Well Dylan, I'm just wondering how you've weathered since the event
Things have been odd.
She and I want to be friends, but not like when people say "let's be friends". Basically, our relationship without sex
Everything is hard to explain. Even more over a forum
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 20, 2014, 08:30:42 PM
Things have been odd.
She and I want to be friends, but not like when people say "let's be friends". Basically, our relationship without sex
Everything is hard to explain. Even more over a forum
I'll probably get negged for this, but I think she should leave your cheating ass for good. I don't care what the situation is, cheating never has an excuse.
Quote from: Slenderbro on March 21, 2014, 12:03:28 AM
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 20, 2014, 08:30:42 PM
Things have been odd.
She and I want to be friends, but not like when people say "let's be friends". Basically, our relationship without sex
Everything is hard to explain. Even more over a forum
I'll probably get negged for this, but I think she should leave your cheating ass for good. I don't care what the situation is, cheating never has an excuse.
What you need to realise is that people do stupid things when they're depressed. He may have done it on purpose but he did that to feel something. It was not because he was bored. It was because he was hurting. So you sit need to shut up and leave him alone
This goes back to the story of why people are cutters.
No matter what you try to say to explain it, it's still dumb. "He needs to feel something" ...bullshit. If all a relationship means to someone is sex, then that person didnt deserve to have the relationship.
I know what it's like to get cheated on, so I have no idea why the .love. she would stay with you.
Quote from: Slenderbro on March 21, 2014, 12:14:59 AM
This goes back to the story of why people are cutters.
No matter what you try to say to explain it, it's still dumb. "He needs to feel something" ...bullshit. If all a relationship means to someone is sex, then that person didnt deserve to have the relationship.
I know what it's like to get cheated on, so I have no idea why the .love. she would stay with you.
I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm merely stating the way you put it was incredibly mean and cruel. That's the kind of thing you keep in your head
Did you even read his post?
He said he did stupid things because he needed to hate himself.
Can't you have sympathy for anyone? So maybe there was no excuse. Well, I'll tell you something. WE ARE ALL HUMAN. Humans make mistakes
I'm sorry that you've been cheated on, it must feel devestating. However, one event does not make your circumstances the same.
Quote from: Sparkle Ninja on March 21, 2014, 12:17:00 AM
Quote from: Slenderbro on March 21, 2014, 12:14:59 AM
This goes back to the story of why people are cutters.
No matter what you try to say to explain it, it's still dumb. "He needs to feel something" ...bullshit. If all a relationship means to someone is sex, then that person didnt deserve to have the relationship.
I know what it's like to get cheated on, so I have no idea why the .love. she would stay with you.
I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm merely stating the way you put it was incredibly mean and cruel. That's the kind of thing you keep in your head
True, but I hate watching as people near condone his actions in the way they comfort him. If I came across as a complete douche then my point was made clearly.
Quote from: Taysby on March 21, 2014, 09:40:56 AM
Slender, right now, he needs to get past his depression otherwise things like that will still happen. When he's past that, then it's the time to yell at him for the bad things he did.
To each their own...
Slenderbro, I agree with you
She shouldn't even talk to me. But she does, and she says that as long as I go back into therapy and I got to SAA meetings (sex addicts group), that she will support and love me through my afflictions and we will get back together over time if I prove myself changed
I certainly don't deserve her. And every day suicide is in my mind, but I'm one of the luckiest people alive to have someone so understanding, and that makes me want to stay
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 21, 2014, 03:27:36 PM
Slenderbro, I agree with you
She shouldn't even talk to me. But she does, and she says that as long as I go back into therapy and I got to SAA meetings (sex addicts group), that she will support and love me through my afflictions and we will get back together over time if I prove myself changed
I certainly don't deserve her. And every day suicide is in my mind, but I'm one of the luckiest people alive to have someone so understanding, and that makes me want to stay
Well good for you my friend. I applaud your ambition.
You should listen to the song "Forgiveness" by Tobymac.
Quote from: Splicer on March 21, 2014, 04:41:19 PM
You should listen to the song "Forgiveness" by Tobymac.
He should listen to "back in black" by AC/DC
Quote from: Slenderbro on March 21, 2014, 04:16:15 PM
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 21, 2014, 03:27:36 PM
Slenderbro, I agree with you
She shouldn't even talk to me. But she does, and she says that as long as I go back into therapy and I got to SAA meetings (sex addicts group), that she will support and love me through my afflictions and we will get back together over time if I prove myself changed
I certainly don't deserve her. And every day suicide is in my mind, but I'm one of the luckiest people alive to have someone so understanding, and that makes me want to stay
Well good for you my friend. I applaud your ambition.
while I completely agree with Slender, and the severity of your situation matches he's said, I think you should note that isn't any reason to live in regret. You've begun to handle it all, and that's easily the best thing you could do. You've been forgiven, and despite the repurcussions it's still the greatest feeling in the world. So flourish off that and have hope for the future. Don't dwell on the past.
Quote from: Slenderbro on March 21, 2014, 12:03:28 AM
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 20, 2014, 08:30:42 PM
Things have been odd.
She and I want to be friends, but not like when people say "let's be friends". Basically, our relationship without sex
Everything is hard to explain. Even more over a forum
I'll probably get negged for this, but I think she should leave your cheating ass for good. I don't care what the situation is, cheating never has an excuse.
You get a +1 from me, buddy.
Quote from: DylanW18 on March 15, 2014, 12:24:16 AM
So this post is kinda weird. I guess I need to vent my thoughts and feelings
Me and Savannah dated for a year and a half. Things were hard, as both of us suffered from deep depression. Hers came out in self harm. Mine came out in purposefully doing things I shouldn't in order to have reasons I hate myself. Mainly cheating, a lot
She found out tonight, and promptly left. At first I was in shock and hurt because I was scared of losing her, but now, I'm not sure how I feel. I can't tell if I legitimately feel bad, or just because I got caught. I've had that issue all my life
I'd like to think I truly loved her... But now I'm questioning what love even feels like, or what I truly want in life. I do know that I want her to find someone who doesn't hurt her though. But that feeling could be from a platonic place, and not of love.
I guess I just don't feel anything. I never really have, and I'm not sure if that bothers me
I just put on masks everywhere, all the time.
Who am I?
Dude i feel you, i have periods of my life where i feel the same way like everythig around me is a lie.. But ive come to realize it always passes and the people i still know on the other side are the 'real' people in my life..
Also, on the bright side at least you can get laid, apparently frequently. And yes thats a serious brightside im not being an arse.
Quote from: MisterJH on March 22, 2014, 10:28:32 PM
...
Also, on the bright side at least you can get laid, apparently frequently. And yes thats a serious brightside im not being an arse.
The thing is... that is not helping, it actually contributes to why this became a problem. trying to solve the problem of cheating and having your girlfriend leave by then having sex is in no way a good solution, I don't see why you would even bring this up, because his ability to get laid is not so much a brightside as it is the problem here.
Well i guess perspective is key here. Sorry, i 1) only read the original post and 2) have a different view on it and it is a 'positive' in my eyes as well as to many others, however the OP is neither me nor anyone else, and his situation is unique. so once again my apologies if it were distasteful
Quote from: MisterJH on March 22, 2014, 11:40:35 PM
Well i guess perspective is key here. Sorry, i 1) only read the original post and 2) have a different view on it and it is a 'positive' in my eyes as well as to many others, however the OP is neither me nor anyone else, and his situation is unique. so once again my apologies if it were distasteful
Good show. I also apologize for being so blunt, but the problem requires a solution that would preferably involve his girlfriend and he patching up their relationship, rather than tearing more holes into it. you may have your karma back now.
Is the goal to get his girlfriend back or to try and make future relationships more successful? In my (albeit limited) experience lies and cheating are irreversible damages(sorry if thats not what youd like to hear) and a relationship will NEVER be the same after. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule but they are fewer and further between in dealing with this than most situations. Also, no need for you to apologize i have a tendency to forget what other people just may think(slim shady!)
Quote from: MisterJH on March 22, 2014, 11:48:57 PM
Is the goal to get his girlfriend back or to try and make future relationships more successful? In my (albeit limited) experience lies and cheating are irreversible damages(sorry if thats not what youd like to hear) and a relationship will NEVER be the same after. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule but they are fewer and further between in dealing with this than most situations. Also, no need for you to apologize i have a tendency to forget what other people just may think(slim shady!)
He has stated in later posts that he and his girlfriend are still friends and if he goes through all of his sex addict rehabilitation and whatnot, they plan to get back together. I think that that is great, I just hope He realizes what a great girl he has, and i hope their relationship can blossom in the future. (without the cheating)
Well then it seems you have a strong woman at your back, and if things go well then i hope everything is at your back helping you onward. Its a tough road but if you seek help and are open to it, well only good things can come of it. If you have another chance then the best thing you can do is try your hardest to make the best of it. I have faith!