One of my friends (who's a lesbian, so this is all in jest) I haven't seen at school for a couple of weeks. So I want to text her a creepy crazy ye olde lover message asking where she is, but I can't come up with anything good. Any help would be appreciated. Here's the garbage I have right now.
My beloved lover, I prithee, tells me where they hast hidden thy beautiful face. How I long for our glorious reunion. Hast thou been captured by thine enemy? Please, I prithee, tell me where they hid the. There's no mountain high enough, no obstacle big enough to separate me from you.
I know it's garbage . I want something really funny.
Steal some Shakespeare. That guy knew what was what with the womens. Possibly send a picture of yourself with a gentleman's twiddly mustache and frill collar.