Post jokes here
Here's one: two big muscular guys start bragging to each other about how strong they are, and which one is stronger.The argument lasts for thirty miunets. Finaly, one see's a couple of bricks laying on the sidewalk and says
"I bet I can throw that brick higher than you can"
The second guy says "bring it on wussy"
He throws a brick in the air, it goes up a couple stories and comes back to the ground
The first guy then throws a brick up and it doesn't come down
Quote from: Birdbrain on January 25, 2014, 02:13:27 PM
Post jokes here
Here's one: two big muscular guys start bragging to each other about how strong they are, and which one is stronger.The argument lasts for thirty miunets. Finaly, one see's a couple of bricks laying on the sidewalk and says
"I bet I can throw that brick higher than you can"
The second guy says "bring it on wussy"
He throws a brick in the air, it goes up a couple stories and comes back to the ground
The first guy then throws a brick up and it doesn't come down
I don't get it
Why was 4 mad when 7 won him a stuffed balloon?
It's because 711492
Quote from: Noblellama on January 25, 2014, 06:19:19 PM
Quote from: Mishra, Artificer Extraordinaire on January 25, 2014, 06:12:13 PM
Why was 4 mad when 7 won him a stuffed balloon?
It's because 711492
That's good! It reminds me of the "why are 5 and 6 afraid of 7? Because 789" joke
It's really more because 7 was a six offender
Quote from: Birdbrain on January 25, 2014, 02:13:27 PM
Post jokes here
Here's one: two big muscular guys start bragging to each other about how strong they are, and which one is stronger.The argument lasts for thirty miunets. Finaly, one see's a couple of bricks laying on the sidewalk and says
"I bet I can throw that brick higher than you can"
The second guy says "bring it on wussy"
He throws a brick in the air, it goes up a couple stories and comes back to the ground
The first guy then throws a brick up and it doesn't come down
Is the first guy {Chuck Norris}?
Quote from: Birdbrain on January 25, 2014, 02:13:27 PM
Post jokes here
Here's one: two big muscular guys start bragging to each other about how strong they are, and which one is stronger.The argument lasts for thirty miunets. Finaly, one see's a couple of bricks laying on the sidewalk and says
"I bet I can throw that brick higher than you can"
The second guy says "bring it on wussy"
He throws a brick in the air, it goes up a couple stories and comes back to the ground
The first guy then throws a brick up and it doesn't come down
I think the first guy is vomiting the brick.
What happens when a Broncos fan takes Viagra?
He gets taller.
Quote from: Skyshadow731 on January 27, 2014, 12:42:42 AM
What happens when a Broncos fan takes Viagra?
He gets taller.
as long as it doesn't last for more than 8 hours.
Lol. Here's one my friend told me.
My dad died on 9/11. His last words were "For ALLAH"
The muffin said to the French fry. " dude I'm baked"
The French fry replied " Baked?!?! Dude I'm fried"
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get negative karma for this but oh well. If people take it offensively I apologize.
Quote from: Skyshadow731 on January 27, 2014, 01:28:36 AM
Lol. Here's one my friend told me.
My dad died on 9/11. His last words were "For ALLAH"
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get negative karma for this but oh well. If people take it offensively I apologize.
The difference between 9/11 and a cow is you stop milking a cow after 13 years
Quote from: CbStrad on January 27, 2014, 06:27:14 PM
I've got two short jokes and a long joke:
Joke
Joke
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE
dude.... that was baaaaaaaaaad
two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
...
...
...
...
...
...
*ba-dum tss*
Quote from: CbStrad on January 27, 2014, 06:27:14 PM
I've got two short jokes and a long joke:
Joke
Joke
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE
Wow, that was deep, but not as deep as this one.
🌊🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊🌊🌊
🌊 joke 🌊
Quote from: Pi on January 27, 2014, 01:56:16 PM
Quote from: Skyshadow731 on January 27, 2014, 01:28:36 AM
Lol. Here's one my friend told me.
My dad died on 9/11. His last words were "For ALLAH"
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get negative karma for this but oh well. If people take it offensively I apologize.
The difference between 9/11 and a cow is you stop milking a cow after 13 years
LOL, very Tosh-esque of you! +1 to both of you.
A man smoking a cigar and a woman with a squeaking parrot are on a plane. The man is very annoyed because the parrot is an African grey and making high pitched noises. The woman is annoyed because she just quit smoking. They get into an argument, and both decide to throw the parrot and cigar out the window. They do, and somehow the parrot flies fast enough to be seen outside the window of the plane. And guess what's in its mouth?
Quote from: Birdbrain on January 28, 2014, 06:10:09 PM
A man smoking a cigar and a woman with a squeaking parrot are on a plane. The man is very annoyed because the parrot is an African grey and making high pitched noises. The woman is annoyed because she just quit smoking. They get into an argument, and both decide to throw the parrot and cigar out the window. They do, and somehow the parrot flies fast enough to be seen outside the window of the plane. And guess what's in its mouth?
What's in its mouth birdbrain?
I dig you dig she digs he digs they dig we all dig.
That wasn't a very good joke, but it was pretty deep.
Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.
~SP
Bring on the negs-
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
-doesn't matter, you already told her twice.
Want to hear a funny joke?
-woman's rights.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
-none, they just sit and .complain. In the dark
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
-none, feminists can't change anything.
And for a less sexist joke...
A politician, a New Yorker, and a Texan are in a room. A question is asked, "if a man is coming at you with a knife, and you have a gun, what do you do?"
The politician replies, "there are many circumstances to be weighed first. Is the knife out? Is he threatening you? Etc..."
The New Yorker says, "Bang!"
The Texan says, "Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Click, click, click, click..."
Because your typo is awesome, that's why!!
What's got 2 legs and bleeds?
Half a dog.
Quote from: Phoenix X30 on January 29, 2014, 11:22:37 PM
What's got 2 legs and bleeds?
Half a dog.
That was funny, but now I'm sad...
Quote from: Phoenix X30 on January 29, 2014, 11:22:37 PM
What's got 2 legs and bleeds?
Half a dog.
Is it sad that I'm dying of laughter right now?
I recently won a water fight with the local kids on my street.
They were no match for my freshly boiled kettle.
Quote from: Phoenix X30 on January 29, 2014, 11:41:21 PM
I recently won a water fight with the local kids on my street.
They were no match for my freshly boiled kettle.
That made me spit up my tea!!
A wasted guy walks up to the bartender and says I bet you 1000 dollars I can piss on that cup. The bartender laughs and says ok. H
the drunk guy pisses all over the bar and not one drop lands in the cup. The drunk guy starts laughing and the bartender is puzzled. So he asks why are you laughing. He says I made a bet for 5,000 dollars I could piss all over your bar and you wouldnt be pissed.
Magic joke:
Why don't Bant players drink milk?
Because they're Rakdos intolerant.
^I like that tbh
Quote from: GamenDork on February 02, 2014, 02:35:48 AM
Magic joke:
Why don't Bant players drink milk?
Because they're Rakdos intolerant.
Ha. I giggled.
Worst joke in existence.
I got an amazing topdeck today.
As if it were MAGIC!
I warned you...
Quote from: Sparkle Ninja on February 03, 2014, 10:47:41 PM
Worst joke in existence.
I got an amazing topdeck today.
As if it were MAGIC!
I warned you...
That joke made me throw-up a little bit. Right in my mouth. It tastes like the cheeseburger I at today.
Quote from: Sparkle Ninja on February 03, 2014, 10:47:41 PM
Worst joke in existence.
I got an amazing topdeck today.
As if it were MAGIC!
I warned you...
More of a pun, but I'll give it too ya.