Chapter 1
A New Calling
"Kaalia, are you just about ready?"
"Almost, Papa," she called back to her father. She gathered her deep red hair in one hand and tied it into a low ponytail, draping it over her shoulder. Taking one last look in the mirror to see if she was done properly this time, Kaalia breathed easy. Her bright green eyes stood out through long, dark eyelashes, and the dark red sash and cowl she'd chosen to wear flowed nicely around her shoulders and legs. The light armour she wore, a simple leather leotard with metal overlaid with buckles, fit her snugly, showing off her slim figure.
Satisfied it fit the requirements, she grabbed her bag, full of clothes and books, and dashed down the stairs to the living area. Seeing her father standing there with a huge grin plastered on his face, she hesitated for a second. The full force of what was happening hit her.
Kaalia was of age now, and Vanaketh custom was that when a citizen came of age, they chose a profession that would be theirs for their time on the plane. She'd chosen to be a cleric for the clergy in the mountaintop citadel of Vanaketh, the plane she lived on, which unfortunately meant leaving her family.
Her father stepped over to her and swept her up into a spinning embrace, making her drop her bag and got them both laughing. Setting her back down on her feet, Kresh brushed a stray lock of Kaalia's hair behind her ear, pride gleaming in his eyes. "Your mother would be so proud to see you like this, Tariel guide her soul. To see the beautiful young woman you came to be fills me with joy," he said, his eyes watering and lip trembling slightly. Frowning, Kaalia pulled him in for another tight hug.
"Papa, stop it. Crying won't help the matter, and you always make me cry when you start crying!" They held each other for a short while before Kresh pulled away, smiling and wiping his eyes.
"I have a gift for you!" He walked into the kitchen and retrieved a long and slender box from a drawer. Approaching Kaalia, he held it out to her. "It's a family heirloom. It's got a bit of a story, too, but the short version is that it's said to hold power over the righteous and unholy." Opening the box, Kaalia pulled out a dagger. Unsheathing it, she examined it. The blade was long and slightly curved, with a little kink in the reverse side, and the runes engraved into the metal seemed to gleam with unnatural light. The hilt, on the other hand, was wrapped in pitch black leather which looked as if it pulled light from around it.
"Papa...it's beautiful, thank you..." Kaalia said, awe etched into her face. Kresh beamed. "Thought you'd like it. I know the clergy up there use powerful magic, and I know some of its combat oriented. So arming yourself's not a terrible idea."
They were interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Coach here for Kaalia Tenvir!"
Kresh sighed and shot a mock glare at the door, making Kaalia giggle. Kissing him on the cheek, she went to open the door while Kresh grabbed her bag.
Walking outside, the pair saw the coach. Made of fire-hardened dark mahogany wood, the edges, handles and buckles were crafted with white gold, with rubies inlaid into the metal. Kaalia noticed that they were the three colours of mana used by the clergy in Vanaketh. She watched her father place her bag in the coach on his own and hold open the door for her, much to the drivers chagrin. Giggling again, she walked towards the coach, trying not to laugh when Kresh bowed to her like she was royalty then closed the door behind her. Pulling back the curtain to speak to her father one last time, she looked him dead in the eye.
"Papa, don't you dare let yourself do all the work on the farm by yourself, okay? Get people to help you, make friends, whatever. I won't be around to look after you."
"I will, sweetheart."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Good. I love you, Papa."
"You better. I'm too old for heartbreak."
Before Kaalia could roll her eyes, Kresh kissed her on the cheek.
"I love you too, Kaalia. Write to me?"
Kaalia nodded. "Every week."
Before they could say anything else, the coach took off with a lurch. Leaning out the window, Kaalia waved goodbye to all she knew.
---------------------
As the coach left the township, towards Kaalia's new future, things were unbeknownst to her were set in motion, and it all started with a doorway opening from the Blind Eternities, and a certain Planeswalker appearing on Vanaketh. Placing her hands together after brushing the dust from her dark purple robes, Liliana Vess looked around.
"There's a dagger here that bends the will of demons, and I so desperately need it..."
You are quite good at writing. You had enough description as to guide the reader but not so much that I wanted to skip over rambling paragraphs (which I do quite often with published books). The dialogue was also great; it seemed natural. I can't wait until the next chapter!
Thanks man! This is actually my first experiment with writing a fanfic of any kind. Most of my so-called story writing comes in the form of roleplay websites and the such.
Also, +1 for kudos!
Good job ;)
I like the origin story idea here. I laughed at the ending because whenever lilliana's in a story, she's always searching for an artifact (fanfics anyway)
Well, the way I hear it, she's always indebted to demons and needs whatever help she can get to try and kerb them. Liliana's presence on Vanaketh means more than just her being after a dagger, of course, but all in due time.
... LEGEND (like Kaalia) ARY!!!
I'm glad people like the story. I'll be posting new chapters sporadically. Basically when I have time to write a draft then type in the mentally edited version.
Fricken awesome
;-; that was beautiful. Please continue.
Really good I liked it
Chapter 2
Prejudice & Power
The coach came to a slow stop, the driver urging the horses to be still. Having fiddled and examined her new dagger and its sheath the entire trip and committed it to visual memory, Kaalia looked up for the first time when the driver opened her door.
"This way, ma'am," he directed, grabbing her bag for her and carrying it with ease. Following him closely, she looked at the citadel up close for the first time.
"From the farm this place looks beautiful and majestic. Standing in front of it makes it seem imposing and monolithic."
The driver chuckled as he walked up the stairs to the large archway. "You'd be surprised how often I hear that."
Kaalia gasped. "Oh, Tariel forgive me, I've been so rude! My name's Kaalia Tenvir. Pleased to meet you Mr..?"
"Maine. Just Maine is fine, ma'am."
"Pleased to meet you, Maine."
They entered through the arch into a medium sized courtyard filled with people her age. Swallowing, she watched as one particular girl, wielding a broadsword like it was bread, knocked down one of her three opponents with ease, dodge an attack from another then disappeared, leaving behind a spectral image of herself midstep, then reappeared behind another opponent and took him down as well. The last man backed off a little, and the girl saw Kaalia watching and glared at her. Frowning, Kaalia looked away and unintentionally towards an older woman who clapped her hands once to gain everyone's attention. Maine excused himself quietly as she began to speak.
"Welcome, trainees. I congratulate you on choosing Gilbrack, the Dega citadel of Vanaketh, as your place of profession. If you're here, that means we've accepted you because you have the passion, the desire and the drive to do what we do. You'll be trained in Dega magic while here; the ordered and righteous power of White mana, the passionate and impulsive properties of Red mana, and the greedy and self-serving nature of Black mana. Some of you have shown that you are capable of great things," she said, and Kaalia could swear she saw the girl from earlier inflate a little from that. "While others are new and have much to learn." Kaalia slumped a little.
"Wait here, while I retrieve the Father."
After she left, the girl Kaalia had seen earlier approached her, a smug look on her face. Kaalia could see now that she had wavy dark brown hair and eyes that matched, somewhat tanned skin and a very promiscuous demeanour.
"I saw you watching, by the way. You looked dumbfounded when I used a Flicker spell. Do you know any magic?" Before Kaalia could respond, she looked Kaalia up and down, and laughed. "Of course you don't, look at you! So naive and stupid."
She twirled away, leaving Kaalia burning with anger. Taking a step forward, she drew her dagger.
"Hey!" The people around her went quiet and formed a circle around her and the girl. She span round to face Kaalia, a smirk planted firmly on her face. "What, princess?"
Kaalia approached her, her faces inches away. "I'm duelling you in the Initiations."
"Got it. You'll lose, princess, but I'll see you there."
They were interrupted by a man clearing his throat loudly. Turning to face him, they instantly went into obedience mode, Kaalia sheathing her dagger discreetly. He was in his forties, with pure white hair and piercing blue eyes. He held himself in a way that meant you don't try anything stupid with him around as he surveyed the trainees.
"In a moment you'll be taken to the duelling room, but first, introductions. I am Father Keyan, and you'll address me as Father or Father Keyan. Good? Great! This way, please."
Kaalia decided that she liked Father Keyan, despite his rigidity.
The duelling room was much longer than it was wide, with a large stage set up in the centre. As the twenty trainees filed into the room and took positions on either side of the stage, Father Keyan stood up on the stage, hands behind his back as he paced the length of the stage.
"Initiation. This will determine who goes into what team. There will be ten teams of two people, and the partner you receive will be the partner for your entire duration of service in the clergy. Any volunteers?" Kaalia and the bratty girl shot their hands up.
"...huh. That's never actually worked before. Okay, up you two come. Names?"
"Kaalia Tenvir."
"Tarelle Pol."
"Alright, begin on my count."
They stood at separate ends of the stage, five meters apart, and took their stances with weapons drawn.
"Three...two...one...go!"
Tarelle launched herself at Kaalia, bringing her sword at her in a horizontal arc. Reading her easily, Kaalia ducked under the blade and rolled, getting to her feet behind Tarelle just in time to catch a foot in the stomach. Winded slightly and staggering back, Kaalia missed Tarelle using another Flicker spell and appearing behind her and ended up getting kicked to the ground again. Laughing, Tarelle closed in on Kaalia.
"Too bad, princess. Now I'll have to take your pesky little knife as a prize."
Adrenaline surged through Kaalia, making her twist to her feet and lay into Tarelle, swinging relentlessly. Tarelle parried each attack, slowly gaining the upper hand and pushing Kaalia back to the other end of the stage. The sparks from the scraping blades flashed rapidly from white to black to red and back again for a few seconds before landing on white. There was a blinding flash of light and Tarelle was on the ground, her sword a few feet from her.
Blinking to clear her vision, she saw the most beautiful angel she'd ever seen standing over Tarelle, her eyes not leaving Kaalia. Kaalia tried to make eye contact, but the angel seemed to dodge her, staying respectfully obedient. She could swear she kept hearing the word 'Baneslayer' in her head, but she was too astounded to care. The angel bowed her head as Kaalia reached out to touch her, then disappeared into smoke before she could. Disappointed, Kaalia sheathed her dagger and moved to help Tarelle up but jumped back when she screamed at her.
"You little bitch! You can't beat me on your own, so you summon an angel to do the work for you?!"
"Tarelle, I didn't mean to-"
"Don't! Don't even! You and I are gonna be fighting for a long time now, and I swear I'll kill you at the end of it."
Tarelle stormed off.
The room was quiet. Until Father Keyan cleared his throat again.
"Tariel's will, that was impressive! Okay, pair up, submit names then continue. Kaalia, a word."
Silently panicking, Kaalia burst when they got to the corner.
"Father, I'm so sorry, I swear I didn't mean to do that, I don't even know how to do that, I know it was wrong, please don't cut me out of here, this place has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl and Papa would be devastated and-"
"Kaalia?" She went dead quiet. "I'm not cutting you out. Normally, I'd reprimand you for what just happened, but to tell you the truth, I'm fascinated. Summoning a creature like that, and not just a basic one, but a real, solid, powerful angel like that, takes years, decades even, of training. And you didn't even break a sweat. That usually takes a lot out of people. I'm officially considering moving you up into advanced classes."
The Father walked away from Kaalia, leaving her dazed and confused.
"Oh, before I forget. Tarelle is your partner. I think the two of you will work together really well."
Kaalia heard it but wasn't listening. What does 'Baneslayer' mean? Who was that angel? Why did it treat her as some kind of leader? And why did this ability bring not excitement but dread to Kaalia?
I loved this part it makes the card make so much more since
;-; beutiful, but i found a typo, change mind to mine in the last part
Jebeezum, you are a talented writer!
Thanks so much, guys. I'm glad you're all liking it. Make sure you spread the word about it, cause I'd love to hear some ideas and theories about where to go next. PM me any ideas or whatever. I'm kinda making it up as I go. ;-)
Good eye on the typo, by the way. That's fixed now. Bloody autocorrect. :P
I'm debating whether to make it long or short. If its long, I get to flesh out the story some more at the cost of not being able to do as many Commander Origin stories, but if I make it short, then I can churn out more stories at the cost of quality. What do you guys think?
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on December 11, 2013, 11:37:04 PM
Thanks so much, guys. I'm glad you're all liking it. Make sure you spread the word about it, cause I'd love to hear some ideas and theories about where to go next. PM me any ideas or whatever. I'm kinda making it up as I go. ;-)
Good eye on the typo, by the way. That's fixed now. Bloody autocorrect. :P
I'm debating whether to make it long or short. If its long, I get to flesh out the story some more at the cost of not being able to do as many Commander Origin stories, but if I make it short, then I can churn out more stories at the cost of quality. What do you guys think?
quality over quantity brotha, you know the rules, i dont mind the wait if it means a good story :D
{Kresh the Bloodbraided} is a farmer, this explains everything!
Quote from: gtfotis on December 12, 2013, 06:16:05 AM
{Kresh the Bloodbraided} is a farmer, this explains everything!
That was entirely accidental. XD
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on December 12, 2013, 06:35:18 AM
Quote from: gtfotis on December 12, 2013, 06:16:05 AM
{Kresh the Bloodbraided} is a farmer, this explains everything!
That was entirely accidental. XD
I literally googled it because I thought I was missing something, I love both of them so if I found out he was the father, I'd flip out like this was Maury!
Chapter 3
A Fateful Step in the Wrong Direction
6 MONTHS LATER
She held the man there by his throat with magic.
"As I'm sure you're aware, I can do this for a long time. Gilbrack is crawling with Black Mana."
Liliana approached her captive, leaning in close seductively and showing off her cleavage.
"Now, I'll ask you again; where was the dagger forged?" Still the man said nothing, though if it was because he was stubborn or because he was suspended in midair was hard to tell. Liliana dropped him and he hit the ground, gasping for air.
"Ready to go again? Or are you going to be good and talk?"
The man sputtered a little before responding. "Never! Gilbrack won't cave in to the likes of you, witch!"
Liliana sighed and coiled some power, bringing the decayed husk of a man lurching out of the ground. It reeked of death, and it made the man retch when the Planeswalker ran a hand over its shoulder like it was her lover.
"This was the last man who defied me. Like you, he had information I wanted, and also like you, he was annoyingly noble. I give you two choices; talk and die swiftly, or don't talk, I sic my friend here on you, turn you then you talk anyway."
The man stood tall, despite quivering in fear.
"I'd rather die than divulge to you, necromancer."
"I was hoping you'd say that. Have at him."
The zombie lunged forward with impossible speed, tackling the man to the ground and tearing into him.
Liliana smiled through the screams.
"The time for subtlety is over, I think."
--------------------
Kaalia sat cross-legged on her bed, reading the latest letter from her father, Kresh. As she finished reading, she frowned. Tarelle walked into their shared bedroom and, upon seeing the look on Kaalia's face, snorted in derision as she moved into the bathroom.
"What's wrong, princess, Daddy find another woman?"
"Shut up, Tarelle. He's saying that people have gone missing in towns around the Citadel," she replied, examining her nails.
"So what? People go missing all the time in the city, and no one cares about them. What makes you think they're gonna care about what happens outside the city walls?"
Kaalia had to give her that, but something still wasn't quite right about the whole thing.
"Have you ever seen a Zombie, Tarelle?"
The girl choked on the water she was rinsing her mouth with. Spitting it out, she reappeared in the doorway, glaring at Kaalia.
"No. They're native to Drevik, the Necra capital. Where, incidentally, I plan to never go. Besides, why would you ask that? It's not as if they've come here."
"I think they have, though," Kaalia said quietly, her eyes distant. Tarelle just stared. "What?"
"I think there may be Zombies in Gilbrack. Something Papa said in his letter."
"How would they be here? Zombies aren't natural, they're made, and they need White, Black and Green mana constantly to be sustained. We don't use Green here, so that's impossible. Stupid girl."
Kaalia shook her head as Tarelle settled into her own bed.
The city-born woman could be impossible sometimes. It was something Kaalia had learned in the past six months training alongside Tarelle. For all the arguments, destroyed equipment and failed training parameters, Father Kwinn had been right; they complimented each other very well. Tarelle, ever the adrenaline junkie, always charged into the fray, spell-slinging and sword swinging, while Kaalia took a backseat command position, sending out basic Angels and Dragons out to help her partner. They still had arguments and insulted each other, but they had a relationship where that happened outside of combat; inside a battle, they were fiercely protective of each other.
Looking back out the window from a flash of light in the corner if her eye, Kaalia gasped.
"Tarelle!"
"Ugh, what is it now, Kaalia?"
"There's a town under attack! See the haze of fire? And the flashes?"
"Yeah, so? We can't help them, it's forbidden to leave the Citadel after dark."
Kaalia ignored and swept out of bed, gathering her gear and changing into it.
"Kaalia..? What're you doing?"
"What's it look like?" Kaalia responded as she strapped her dagger to her waist. "I can't sit here and watch our people burn. I'm going to help them."
Tarelle sighed and got out of bed, grabbing her equipment as well. Kaalia looked up and smiled, saying nothing.
----------------------
Arriving at the towns main square on horseback, Kaalia slid off the horse. Drawing her dagger, she surveyed her surrounds, took in the smells and sounds. It was a bloodbath; people running and screaming, fires eating away at home, guardsmen trying to coordinate with each other, and Kaalia could have sworn that she saw a sprinting corpse here and there.
"Kaalia, what's the word?"
"Get to the outskirts and circle the town. Gather as many guardsmen as safely as you can and collect civilians along the way. If you find out where whatever's attacking them is coming from, send someone to me."
"Got it. Stay safe!" Tarelle shouted as she urged the horse along the main road.
"You too!" Kaalia called back, flexing the hand on her dagger. In a flash of white light, the Baneslayer Angel appeared, already on full alert. "What's happening, Kaalia?"
"I don't know, but these people need our help!"
"I'm not leaving you."
That made Kaalia smile, despite the situation. "I know. I'm getting more help, trust me." Flexing her hand again, there was a distant roar then a burst of flame, the Dragon that caused it landing its ink-black body on the ground effortlessly. The Balefire Dragon bowed its head to Kaalia, it's deep red eyes burning with her anger.
"What does my Lady ask?" The Dragon asked, it's voice speaking inside her mind.
"Fly over the city, clear roads, pathways, everywhere you can."
"That won't be efficient enough, I'm not small enough to get into tight spaces."
Kaalia nodded, flexing her hand on the dagger once more. Her Angelic Skirmisher appeared, sword at the ready, eyes on Kaalia.
"Assist the Dragon."
"Your will is ours." The pair flew off, leaving the Baneslayer Angel with Kaalia.
"Let's go," Kaalia said, and she ran further into the town, the Angel flying low above her.
Quote from: gtfotis on December 12, 2013, 08:14:49 PM
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on December 12, 2013, 06:35:18 AM
Quote from: gtfotis on December 12, 2013, 06:16:05 AM
{Kresh the Bloodbraided} is a farmer, this explains everything!
That was entirely accidental. XD
I literally googled it because I thought I was missing something, I love both of them so if I found out he was the father, I'd flip out like this was Maury!
I'm actually glad it's not possible; he's from Jund, which is Alaran, while Kaalia is Dega, from a fictional plane called Vanaketh. I did think briefly on how to make it happen for LOLs, but then decided against it.
typo alert, in the first paragraph testing -> tearing; got -> for
im loving these btw. :D keep em coming
Again, thanks for the typo check. Fixed.
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on December 12, 2013, 10:05:24 PM
Again, thanks for the typo check. Fixed.
happy to help :D the story is progressing nicely, I think.
minor typo: paragraph 5, sentence 3: at homeS
just a minor thing I found while reading. Nicely done!
NOOOOO!!! F*** YOU!!! No cliffhangers like this!!!!!!!!! Lol I wanna know what happens!!!
Lol but seriously you should write a book bc this is awesome!!!
Quote from: Mattao19 on December 13, 2013, 03:39:43 AM
NOOOOO!!! F*** YOU!!! No cliffhangers like this!!!!!!!!! Lol I wanna know what happens!!!
Lol but seriously you should write a book bc this is awesome!!!
I didn't have time to do that whole sequence, and I think it ended well.
Also; MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on December 13, 2013, 04:31:31 AM
Quote from: Mattao19 on December 13, 2013, 03:39:43 AM
NOOOOO!!! F*** YOU!!! No cliffhangers like this!!!!!!!!! Lol I wanna know what happens!!!
Lol but seriously you should write a book bc this is awesome!!!
I didn't have time to do that whole sequence, and I think it ended well.
Also; MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Ya it did! I was jk about being upset. You have a real talent btw :D
Thanks, guys!
I've decided that I'm only going to do the Legendaries from the Commander sets, and even then if there's the possibility of a story behind each one. This one focuses in Kaalia, but places Tariel in a god-like position.
I'm only saying this cause I honestly can't think of anything for all the Commanders, and some of their short bios speak enough for themselves.
Dude I love the book, Kaalia is my favorite legendary, and I love the way the book is progressing. So keep it coming. If I could I would plus one all of these.
Quote from: Skyshadow731 on December 15, 2013, 11:01:12 PM
Dude I love the book, Kaalia is my favorite legendary, and I love the way the book is progressing. So keep it coming. If I could I would plus one all of these.
you can, it will just take 3 days :D
Quote from: IceScythe on December 16, 2013, 12:18:04 AM
Quote from: Skyshadow731 on December 15, 2013, 11:01:12 PM
Dude I love the book, Kaalia is my favorite legendary, and I love the way the book is progressing. So keep it coming. If I could I would plus one all of these.
you can, it will just take 3 days :D
Feel free to do so, I won't mind! ;)
You should send this to maro
What if you had Kaalia nd exava meet up at the cleric plane
I'd love for MaRo to see this...
Might encourage him to release a wedge-colour block faster. XD
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on December 17, 2013, 01:25:07 AM
I'd love for MaRo to see this...
Might encourage him to release a wedge-colour block faster. XD
I know! Also where's the next Chapter?!!! I'm dying to find out what happens lol!!!
I haven't had time to draft one up, but I should have at least one more chapter sorted out by tomorrow.
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on December 17, 2013, 09:05:34 AM
I haven't had time to draft one up, but I should have at least one more chapter sorted out by tomorrow.
Sweet!! 😝 But take your time!
Big fan btw 😍
Ohhh, my god I love this book though, like it's amazing.
I really enjoy your writing I've been writing out stories for my edh decks for a long time so I'm glad to see someone who writes like me. Very great job, keep it up
These reviews are great, guys! Feeling all warm and fuzzy. >.<
What do you think should happen here? Something big is gonna go down, that's for sure, but what do you think it will be or should be?
1 {Kaalia of the Vast}
1 {Dragonskull Summit}
1 {Akoum Refuge}
1 {Rakdos Carnarium}
1 {Opal Palace}
1 {Command Tower}
1 {Temple of the False God}
1 {Shinka, the Bloodsoaked Keep}
5 {Swamp}
1 {Blackcleave Cliffs}
1 {Fetid Heath}
1 {Vault of the Archangel}
1 {Clifftop Retreat}
1 {Blood Crypt}
1 {Sacred Foundry}
1 {Temple of Triumph}
6 {Plains}
1 {Rugged Prairie}
5 {Mountain}
1 {Isolated Chapel}
1 {Boros Garrison}
1 {Godless Shrine}
1 {Temple of Silence}
1 {Orzhov Basilica}
1 {Shizo, Death's Storehouse}
37 lands
1 {Reya Dawnbringer}
1 {Steel Hellkite}
1 {Angelic Arbiter}
1 {Charmbreaker Devils}
1 {Shadowborn Demon}
1 {Underworld Cerberus}
1 {Baneslayer Angel}
1 {Karmic Guide}
1 {Angel of Finality}
1 {Iona, Shield of Emeria}
1 {Stronghold Overseer}
1 {Angelic Skirmisher}
1 {Angel of Despair}
1 {Reaper from the Abyss}
1 {Deathbringer Liege}
1 {Admonition Angel}
1 {Angel of Serenity}
1 {Rune-Scarred Demon}
1 {Indomitable Archangel}
1 {Harvester of Souls}
1 {Avacyn, Angel of Hope}
1 {Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite}
1 {Ashen Rider}
1 {Archangel of Strife}
1 {Balefire Dragon}
1 {Ob Nixilis, the Fallen}
1 {Lord of the Void}
1 {Lord of Shatterskull Pass}
1 {Aurelia, the Warleader}
1 {Gisela, Blade of Goldnight}
1 {Stormbreath Dragon}
1 {Thundermaw Hellkite}
1 {Urabrask the Hidden}
1 {Sheoldred, Whispering One}
35 creatures
1 {Grave Pact}
1 {Dual Casting}
1 {Beseech the Queen}
1 {Strionic Resonator}
1 {Painful Quandary}
1 {Beacon of Immortality}
1 {Akroma's Memorial}
1 {Tempt with Immortality}
1 {Rakdos Signet}
1 {Boros Signet}
1 {Curse of the Cabal}
1 {Lightning Greaves}
1 {Swiftfoot Boots}
1 {Orzhov Signet}
1 {Temporal Extortion}
1 {Door of Destinies}
1 {Increasing Ambition}
1 {Caged Sun}
1 {Witchbane Orb}
1 {Prototype Portal}
1 {Sword of Kaldra}
1 {Conjurer's Closet}
1 {Quicksilver Amulet}
1 {Gilded Lotus}
1 {Baneful Omen}
1 {Decree of Pain}
1 {Price of Knowledge}
1 {Luminarch Ascension}
27 other spells
Sideboard
Notes:
In keeping with the story I'm writing for her, I figure I'd re-release my Kaalia deck for all to see.
|
That's the deck list for my own Kaalia deck. As she's not a Planeswalker or Mage, she won't have access to the spells in the deck, not will she have the artifacts. Also, she won't be summoning any Legendaries unless they're from a core set.
Maybe she should meet some other planeswalkers as allies before she meets up with Lilliana, like as I had also said she should meet exava, they could be allies, she could also meet nicol bolas or even summon him when she is about to lose to liliana
Quote from: Skyshadow731 on December 17, 2013, 12:27:07 PM
Maybe she should meet some other planeswalkers as allies before she meets up with Lilliana, like as I had also said she should meet exava, they could be allies, she could also meet nicol bolas or even summon him when she is about to lose to liliana
she could have a close run in with assassins sent by somebody who knows about her dagger, and she narrowly escapes, but with a new companion who was swept up in the fray after trying to diffuse the situation? Idk._.
Seems like a really good idea.
If anything she can meet {Sarkhan the Mad} as he's in her couloirs for one and dragons go with Kaalia. Or even {Elsepth Tirel} as Elsepth is a hero that can help Kaalia. But I'm not huge into magic lore so idk how we'll it works.
The other {B}{R}{W} walkers are:
{Sorin Markov}/{Sorin, Lord of Innistrad} Vampire focus
{Ajani Vengeant}/every Ajani too wild for Kaalia
{Gideon Jura}/{Gideon, Champion of Justice} could work
Yea sarkhan would teach her the full extent of the dragons, and elspeth could teach her the way of the blade but I think it would still be kinda cool if she had summoned nicol bolas.
Quote from: Skyshadow731 on December 17, 2013, 12:51:24 PM
Yea sarkhan would teach her the full extent of the dragons, and elspeth could teach her the way of the blade but I think it would still be kinda cool if she had summoned nicol bolas.
That's too far fetched though isn't it? Like I might be (and probably am) wrong but Nicol is too evil for Kaalia. If he meant for Kaalia to be evil she would not be fighting Lili shed be joining Lili
Well yea he's evil, but just the shear power of being able to summon the legendary nicol bolas would show how power full she is, and maybe she's suppose to be neutral because she summons demons( evil) , angels( good) and dragons ( good and evil)
Quote from: Skyshadow731 on December 17, 2013, 12:59:44 PM
Well yea he's evil, but just the shear power of being able to summon the legendary nicol bolas would show how power full she is, and maybe she's suppose to be neutral because she summons demons( evil) , angels( good) and dragons ( good and evil)
But how can she summon Bolas? Wrong colours that don't exist on that plane
Yea, I don't understand the full mechanics of magic, and she could join Garruk on a hunt for Lilliana when she realizes that lili turned her father in to a zombie.
Bolas is practically onmnipitant if anyone is summoning anyone it's the other way around.
But it's a fan fiction so its how ever he wants to write it.
As a fellow writer I say he should make his own walker
Another Planeswalker will be appearing, but whether or not it's an OC Walker remains to be seen.
As Gilbrack is the Dega Capital of Vanaketh, and Dega is {R}{W}{B}, no {G} or {U} magic will appear in Gilbrack, unless someone from either the Raka {R}{W}{U}, Ceta {G}{R}{U} or Necra {G}{B}{W} appears WITH THEIR OWN SOURCE OF MANA.
Nicol Bolas will not make an appearance.
Aww man. Ohh well a dragon can dream. Well what if I was incorporated into the story. Someone who guides kaalia to the way of the dragon. So she can summon even the greatest of dragons. I would just love to be in the story cause kaalia is my favorite commander.
I'm not putting anyone in the story, but I will absolutely utilise that idea. I've already got ideas bubbling up for it.
Ok. Can't wait to see future chapters
Almost about to start drafting one.
Yay.......
Chapter Four
Revelations
It just didn't seem to end. Kaalia and her Baneslayer had been diving into homes to either rescue the citizens inside or cleanse them of the undead that infested the place for what felt like hours. They moved to their next house, and just as Kaalia kicked open the door, a surge of Black magic crashed into the Baneslayer, sending her spiralling through a wall and landing in a heap.
"Baneslayer!" No response. Then, suddenly, a burst of light and the Angel reappeared, righteous fury burning in her impossibly blue eyes. "Deal with the house. I'll deal with this." She flew off up the hill towards a place covered in darkness, sword drawn. Kaalia pushed into the house and spotted three Zombies crouched over a half-eaten corpse.
"Hey!" That got their attention, and one of them charged her. Drawing her dagger with lightning reflexes, she slammed it into the Zombies head, making it drop straight away. She threw the dagger at one of the remaining Zombies and launched herself at the other, fly kicking it to the ground. Standing over it, she kerb stomped its head in, then retrieved her dagger from the skull of the other. She looked down at the corpse which they'd gnawed down to the bone in places and sighed. Crouching over the body, she closed the eyelids and hung her head in a quick, silent prayer to Tariel.
Standing up and sheathing her dagger, she frowned. The Angel should have been back by now. Just as she had that thought, a painful scream filled the air and Kaalia felt the Baneslayers presence disappear. Without another thought, she summoned a Karmic Guide. "Up the hill!"
The Angel Spirit nodded and took off up the hill. Kaalia waited the full eternity of a minute before the Angel returned, Black lances of power sent from the darkness shattering uselessly against her natural shielding, unharmed but covered in black scuff marks.
"Necromancer stationed inside the church of Gil Reith. Incredibly powerful, more powerful than any other necromancer inside your records."
"Take me there. We need to end this."
As the Karmic Guide carried her through the darkness, Kaalia pondered the significance of the location as she watched her Balefire Dragon and Angelic Skirmisher continue to cleanse the town.
As they got closer to the church and the Angel set her down, Kaalia spotted a steady trickle of undead moving out of the building, running in that shambling way that only Zombies could muster.
"There's no way we can sneak in. Whoever's in there probably knows you're here, and this is no time for stealth," Kaalia reasoned. "You stay out here and try to stifle the flow. I'll deal with inside." Nodding, the Karmic Guide flew off and began swooping down at the Zombies coming out of the church. Sprinting to the rear entrance to the church, Kaalia barged through the door and ran into the main hall, standing between the pews.
The church was an old building. Tapestries of Gil Reith battling hordes of creatures hung from the ceiling, floating candles illuminating an irony that didn't escape Kaalia at all. The Emblem of Gilbrack was emblazoned on each pillar and into each stained glass window. In accordance to churches on Vanaketh, the altar was positioned at the front of the church, with pews behind it to the back. On the altar was a kind of giant stone doorway, again displaying the Emblem of Gilbrack. None of that mattered; all Kaalia cared about was the somewhat scantily clad woman sitting on the altar with a sensual demeanour, her purple silk robes sliding over her apparently flawless skin.
"You reek of Angels."
Kaalia snorted in derision. "Yeah, so?"
"I hate Angels," Liliana explained matter-of-factly. "To think someone as small as you could prove to be such a nuisance."
"Leave, witch! These people have done nothing to you," Kaalia shouted, stepping forward and brandishing her dagger at Liliana. The Planeswalker spotted the dagger and her eyes flashed with glee and greed.
"Do you know where we are?"
"Church of Gil Reith, why?"
"Have you heard his story? No? I'll educate you. Your legends say that he was a powerful Mage who could summon and control Demons, Dragons and, unfortunately, Angels. Well, what you don't know is that one day he forged a weapon into which he poured a portion of his power in the hopes that, when he should one day die, the person who wielded the weapon would have the same ability. The catch was that it had to be someone inside his own bloodline. Soon after that, his Spark ignited and he became a Planeswalker. His power grew, and he eventually got to a point where he could summon creatures of legend from entirely different planes."
Despite her hatred of this woman, Kaalia found her story fascinating. She'd been taught about Planeswalkers, beings so powerful they could change their appearance, were practically immortal and had total mastery over a given field. Liliana pressed on.
"The story goes that Gil Reith defended Vanaketh from another Planeswalker, but ultimately fell despite his power. The weapon he forged, however, was hidden away and forgotten about, passed down through generations as a family heirloom, it's origin slowly sliding into obscurity, until a man named Kresh Tenvir hands it to his daughter, Kaalia, just over half a year ago."
That made Kaalia stop. She looked at the dagger and, in particular, the runes. She watched as they shifted from indiscernible to easily readable.
GIL REITH TENVIR
That almost made her drop the dagger.
"I'm a descendant of Gil Reith..?"
"I know, I think it's a waste, too."
Kaalia shot Liliana a glare.
"What, you thought your abilities were purely in your blood? Stupid girl, it was always the dagger. Now," Liliana said, clicking her fingers. "Hold still. I have a dagger to retrieve." From out of nowhere, Zombies appeared all around Kaalia, grabbing her and keeping her still in a vice grip. Liliana plucked the dagger from Kaalia's hand, fingering the blade happily.
"I'm indebted to you, girl. Without you being noble, I wouldn't have the one thing I need to kerb my problems." Kaalia smirked as she saw the runes on the blade revert to unreadable. Liliana saw it too, causing her to snarl. "Looks like I need one more thing."
Without warning, she drove the dagger into Kaalia's stomach. Screaming in agony, Kaalia could feel the dagger sapping at her soul and slumped in the grip of the undead that held her. The world around her lost its colour and went blurry, all sounds muffled. In the distance she heard a voice.
"Get your filthy claws off my friend, witch!"
Kaalia was vaguely aware of having the dagger pulled from her and being dropped to the ground. "Kaalia!"
She watched through blurry slow motion as Tarelle swept into the room, taking out three Zombies with a single spell, decapitating another with a swing of her broadsword. She bent over Kaalia.
"Hang on, Kaalia, I'll get you outta here!"
Kaalia tried responding, but didn't hear herself say anything.
"Shut up, princess, I'm not leav-ugh!" A blast of Black magic caught Tarelle in the chest and sent her careening into a pillar, knocking her out instantly. Kaalia rolled over onto her stomach and began crawling towards her, but was stopped by Liliana standing over her, Kaalia's dagger in hand.
"And so ends the Tenvir line. Not with a bang but a whimper. I'll be stopping by to see your father before I leave, I think."
She was interrupted by an explosion of light and power from behind Kaalia, rubble being sent everywhere. A shockwave destroyed all the Zombies in the room, and Liliana stepped back in horror.
"You..! You're supposed to be dead! I watched you die!" She ducked under an arc of White-Red magic, then opened a gateway into the Blind Eternities, fleeing through it. As the gateway closed, Kaalia rolled back over onto her back, watching the ceiling slowly fade away into nothingness...
...but not before a silhouette crouched over her.
Wow .... Just wow!!!
These keep getting better and better!!
Awesome job pal!!
Dudethatchapter is amazing and it's ajani but I hate the cliff hanger
What's Ajani?
How would I go about sending this into MaRo, anyway? I've thought about it seriously today, and I'm keen.
Holy .poo.
I think the RW guy is indeed Ajani.
What makes you guys think of Ajani, besides the Red-White magic? There's absolutely nothing saying who it is. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I'm not saying you're right either.
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on December 18, 2013, 11:48:07 AM
What makes you guys think of Ajani, besides the Red-White magic? There's absolutely nothing saying who it is. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I'm not saying you're right either.
I just thought it was Kaalias great grandfather who had the spark. But that's my thought!!
Quote from: Mattao19 on December 18, 2013, 12:02:06 PM
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on December 18, 2013, 11:48:07 AM
What makes you guys think of Ajani, besides the Red-White magic? There's absolutely nothing saying who it is. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I'm not saying you're right either.
I just thought it was Kaalias great grandfather who had the spark. But that's my thought!!
That was my thought as well
The generation gap between Kaalia and Gil Reith is more than a few generations, but I get your point. ;)
So, Tarelle's unconscious, Kaalia's on the brink of death, the town is still under attack as far as we know, and Liliana has the Dagger of Gil Reith. Things are looking pretty desperate.
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on December 18, 2013, 05:58:27 PM
The generation gap between Kaalia and Gil Reith is more than a few generations, but I get your point. ;)
So, Tarelle's unconscious, Kaalia's on the brink of death, the town is still under attack as far as we know, and Liliana has the Dagger of Gil Reith. Things are looking pretty desperate.
Can you (for the first time ever) have the bad guy win?
Everything about Kaalia's card necessitates that good doesn't triumph. If I did anything else, I'd be going against an already pre-established story snippet.
That's not to say we're near the end. Far from it.
Chapter 5
The Abyssal Archangel
"Kaalia, be still! You've suffered more than physical injury in that fight," a mans voice said from seemingly far away. Her vision dim and blurry from what she groggily assumed was blood loss, Kaalia tried to respond.
"Shh, Kaalia. All in due time. Just don't die on me!"
Above her, the sky roiled. Pitch black clouds threw lightning arcs of red and white power all around them.
"Go, get down there and..." The man was issuing orders to others. Unable to fight the pressing darkness, Kaalia slipped into unconsciousness again, screaming in her ears.
AN UNKNOWN PERIOD OF TIME LATER
Kaalia groaned in protest as the suns rays hit her face and rolled away from them, only to gasp in pain loudly. Opening her eyes, she moved to sit up in the bed she lay on, but her shoulders refused to operate. Moving the blanket down her body, she inspected the spot where Liliana stabbed her.
"No scar..."
Kicking the rest of the blanket off her, she took in the rest of her surroundings. The bed she lay in was luxurious and an impeccable white. The walls and ceiling were painted an impossible combination of deep red and fiery orange, while the floor was covered in a fluffy jet black carpet. "Whoever lives here certainly has a taste for fine things," Kaalia stated somewhat uselessly. Trying, and failing, to sit up, she decided to roll out of bed. Hitting the floor on her stomach, she felt something of hers float down to the floor on either side of her.
"What on Vana- OH MY GOD!"
Shrieking in terror and confusion, Kaalia forced herself up onto her feet. Finding a mirror, she stomped over to it and screamed again. A beautiful set of wings, the feathers a brilliant white and outlined with black, dangled from her shoulders onto the floor. Breathing heavily, she tried to move them and gasped in pain again, letting them sag back down to the floor. She closed her eyes and counted to ten slowly, then reopened them.
"Nope, not a dream. I'm dead! Why else would I have wings?"
"Uh...that would be my fault."
Jumping, Kaalia swirled around to find a man standing in the doorway. He was tall, about 6'3", with ear length white hair that was tipped in black and red. His eyes were intensely and surprisingly green, softening out his angular features. He was incredibly toned and tan. Shirtless besides the two leather straps wrapped over his shoulders and crossing over his chest, his pants were tucked into boots. On his hips sat two sabres. He held himself with a gracious ease that belied his figure, making him seem lithe and predatory. The smirk, which seemed permanent, spoke of volumes of confidence.
All in all, he was very handsome. Kaalia's mouth went dry.
"What have you done to me?"
He looked her up and down in a way that made Kaalia flush. "Nothing bad."
"Bad!? I HAVE WINGS!"
He shrugged nonchalantly. "Fortunate side effect."
Kaalia was starting to hate this man. "Side effect of what?"
"Notice you're not bleeding-"
"Yeah, cause I'm dead!"
"You're not dead, now shut up. I healed you and nursed you back to health."
"That still doesn't explain the wings," Kaalia said, gesturing to them. "There are people in the clergy who can heal without giving people new appendages."
The man sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You were stabbed with the Dagger of Gil Reith. In that situation, the Dagger has soul-sapping capabilities. You were drained a little, so I used some of my power to fill in the gaps. When the soul's altered, so is the body. Ergo, wings."
Kaalia glared at the man. "You don't have wings. And what do you mean by your 'power'?"
In a flash, his forearms and lower legs were covered in a spiky black armour with red stones glowing with power laid into them. Something about them suggested not armour, but demon skin. Runes that burned with white flame appeared on his chest, and a pair of vibrant red wings shimmered into existence behind him, each feather edged in black and tipped in white. Kaalia stepped back in terror.
"This is my true appearance. Aren't you glad I didn't greet you like this?"
"W-what are you..?"
"I am the Abyssal Archangel, the being that gives all of Dega it's mana. I am a Planeswalker, and Vanaketh is my home. I was once a simple Mage, but Heaven, Hell and the lords of the sky saw fit to give me Ascension."
Kaalia swallowed, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open.
"You...you're..."
"I am Gil Reith, the Abyssal Archangel, and you are my descendant."
-----------------------------
"It's been long foretold you would come here," Gil Reith stated bluntly as the pair of them walked through the halls of his home. Kaalia was looking around as they walked, taking in every detail in case it was still a dream.
"Where is 'here', exactly? Are we still on Vanaketh?"
"Yes. Just my own private realm. I was trapped here, but the events Liliana put into motion caused my freedom. That was what the explosion was when she was standing over you."
"I remember," Kaalia growled. "That witch has my Dagger. And I can't chase her down!"
"Your Dagger? Is it truly yours if you let her take it?"
That gave Kaalia pause. "Well, I certainly didn't want her to take it!"
"That aside, anything that's truly yours will never be taken from you. Lesson one."
Kaalia sighed. "I'm not sure I'd want to go after her right now, anyway."
Gil Reith chuckled. "Probably not the best idea. You have an Angel's wingspan now, and she has a particular hatred for Angels."
Kaalia looked at him sideways, spotting an odd expression in his eyes. "That sounds like the voice of experience," she hazarded, gauging his response.
"You'd be right. It was her that forced me to fake my death; it was her that I defended Vanaketh from. Which is why she was saying she watched me die. For all intents and purposes, I was."
They arrived at a cliff face, the winds swirling around them and threatening to grab them at a moments notice.
"What are we doing here?" Kaalia asked, leaning over the edge slightly.
"Learning to fly." Gil Reith nudged her slightly, pushing her over the edge with a short scream.
These are awesome! I hope there will be more.... If not I will be very sad :P +1!
I love these stories man. And I swear it was ajani, but that is still an amazing twist. I love the stories, keep em commin +1
You lost me at fly kicking and "kerb" stomping a zombie in a house.. 😰
You have to remember that Kaalia in card form is only a 2/2 and not a Mage. So she wouldn't be blasting them with a spell. Plus, for the sake of the story, she's an agile fighter in close quarters. That necessitated by her using a dagger in combat. The fly kick was less of a straight fly kick then of a vault over the lounge with a kick at the end of it.
AMAZING @_@
hey, can we vote on the next walker story? i just want somebody with some blue up in here, y'know?
Quote from: IceScythe on December 19, 2013, 10:08:07 PM
AMAZING @_@
hey, can we vote on the next walker story? i just want somebody with some blue up in here, y'know?
Ral. There's so much mystery about his story...
Quote from: IceScythe on December 19, 2013, 10:08:07 PM
AMAZING @_@
hey, can we vote on the next walker story? i just want somebody with some blue up in here, y'know?
I vote for one of the ravnica champion like teysa
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on December 19, 2013, 06:51:49 PM
You have to remember that Kaalia in card form is only a 2/2 and not a Mage. So she wouldn't be blasting them with a spell. Plus, for the sake of the story, she's an agile fighter in close quarters. That necessitated by her using a dagger in combat. The fly kick was less of a straight fly kick then of a vault over the lounge with a kick at the end of it.
It's not that, it just sounded really cheesy haha and in quick succession to boot!
Uhhhh. I'm missing my Kaalia stories. Please bring them back
They haven't stopped. I just haven't had time to write any more. I DID say there wasn't a schedule for release.
I know, I was just wondering cause i love the story line. Well I can't wait for the next one +1 just for making amazing stories
I also give a +1
And i give another one cause I it's amazing.
Not to worry, guys, another chapter coming today!
Also, I'm thinking of taking Kaalia's story to conclusion, instead of leaving it where her card leaves it. What do you all think?
Quote from: xStrayKnightx on January 05, 2014, 04:58:38 PM
Not to worry, guys, another chapter coming today!
Also, I'm thinking of taking Kaalia's story to conclusion, instead of leaving it where her card leaves it. What do you all think?
No! more parts to the story! :P :D :D
Hopefully not in the next 10 chapters(exaggeration) but yes I think you should continue the story and possibly give her a spark. Have her travel to kill some one who slays her father.
I didn't mean conclude it now, I meant take the story further than I originally intended to by taking it past where the card says she is.
Effectively turning it into a full story instead of just an origin tale.
Chapter 6
One Hell of a Teacher
Tumbling through the air and not knowing what to do, Kaalia dropped through the air like a rock in a way that seemed like it was taking forever. Beneath her she could see a maelstrom of Red, Black and White mana, and she knew that making contact with the surging power would kill her.
Unfortunately, that fate seemed inescapable.
Just as she started to accept death, a dark orange streak of power shot by her. Without warning, she came to jolting stop in Gil Reiths arms. Clutching onto him for a second, Kaalia realised what had happened, then turned to her rescuer to glare at him.
"You're a real jerk, you know that?"
Gil Reith grinned. "I'm glad you noticed. I try so hard."
"I'm sure. Back on the ground. Now."
With a single push from the Planeswalkers powerful wings, they shot back up to the balcony and settled back on the ground. Kaalia pushed out of his hold, trembling as she recovered from the shock of free fall. Gil Reith folded his arms and cocked his head to the side, appraising her.
"You need to strengthen your wing muscles-"
"Gee, you think?" Kaalia shot back.
"-before you can fly effectively. Training begins immediately. I'll teach you how to fly, and more."
Kaalia frowned, now fully recovered. "More?"
"You could summon Angels and Dragons with the power of my Dagger, yes? I'll teach you to do it without the dagger. I'll even show you when to do it."
Kaalia raised an eyebrow. "Which is when?"
"Just as you attack, but before you make contact. That way you hit for extreme effect. You alone might be easy to deal with, but with what I'll teach you, you'll be a force to be reckoned with."
Kaalia pictured attacking Liliana, having her gutted by an Angel in an instant and grinned.
"Well, what are we waiting for? Lets get started!"
----------------------
The training was gruelling. Kaalia had thought Gil Reiths teaching would all be theory; she was horrendously wrong. Gil Reith didn't teach theory. He taught through practical means, which Kaalia despaired with. Hour after hour, she was pushed from flight training to combat techniques and back again, day after day she rose early in the morning and went to bed late at night.
By the end of the first month, she was showing some improvement, managing to parry almost all of her mentors attacks and gliding easily over long distances.
By the time the third month ended, she was harassing Gil Reith with incessant attacks from Angels and Dragons, without success or victory. She could, however, fly almost without a problem.
Six months passed from the day when Gil Reith had pushed her over the balcony edge, and Kaalia was proving to be a great success in the Abyssal Archangels eyes, summoning creatures at exactly the right time, attacking only when appropriate, and flying with an expertise matched only by Gil Reith himself.
In one training session, Gil Reith and Kaalia were locked in a duel, Kaalia's temporary weapon deflecting Gil Reiths dual sabres easily when she needed them to. As he made a move towards her chest, she shot up into the air and hovered there for a second before diving back down, dagger held in a backward grip. As he readied himself to block her, he was swept off his feet from behind as an Angel flew past, sending him into a short midair drift. Kaalia collided with him, slamming him into the ground and driving the blade of her dagger into the ground next to his face. Leaning in close, she chuckled.
"I win."
Gil Reith started bucking, pushing Kaalia off him awkwardly. He let his power go, his wings unfurling and his eyes blazing. Kaalia rolled to her feet and prepared herself for a real fight before Gil Reith settled, then started chuckling. Kaalia frowned at her teacher as his laughter got louder and he was throwing his head back in a fit of throaty laughs.
"Ah, Kallia! I'm so damned proud of you! There is literally nothing else I can teach you!"
Kaalia relaxed and gave a short bow. "It was your teaching that got me here. This is all your doing."
Gil Reith laughed again. "Not even Tariel could match that, and I bloody created her! You truly are an unmatched jewel, Kaalia."
That made her beam. "Thank you, Gil Reith."
The Archangel gestured to her to follow him, and took her into the dining hall, where a seemingly impossible amount of exquisite food lay.
"Eat, drink, Kaalia! You've more than earned it! Then, we'll talk about putting you back on the actual ground. Things have changed."
As she sat down, Kaalia's mind jumped to her friends and family back on Gilbrack. Shame poured into her as she realised she hadn't even thought about them since Liliana's attack. Knowing her mentor was true to his word, she settled in, eating and drinking herself into a very liberal state.
Towards the end of the evening, the alcohol she'd drank had taken a heavy effect on her, and she constantly found herself flirting with Gil Reith. He was incredibly handsome, awe inspiring and animalistic, and something very primal in Kaalia made her pulse race whenever she looked at him.
"What's it like being up here, all alone like you are?"
Gil Reith shrugged, his eyes shining with something other than alcohol. "It's not so bad. I get to see the Plane in its entirety, watch people of interest, see the comings and goings of kings and civilisations. Immortality has its benefits."
"Awfully lonely too, I imagine. No friends, no family, no company but those you create," she replied, playing with her hair. She looked at him pointedly, and the expression on his face seemed to say he got the hint.
"Aye, that's it's major downfall. No pleasurable company at all. You've been a breath of fresh air, I assure you."
Kaalia leaned in so their faces nearly touched, her heart racing and her breath heavy. "I'm glad to be such a huge help..."
Without warning, the Archangel pulled her in close for a kiss, passionate and heated enough that Kaalia thought they would combust. As she returned the kiss, Gil Reith lifted her up with him as he got out if his chair. Wrapping her legs around his waist, Kaalia felt the world shift as they appeared in his bedroom and laughed softly.
"Couldn't wait, huh?"
"Not for the world."
As they fell onto his bed, the night passed in a heap of passion, power and pleasure, ending in the sweet oblivion of sleep for the both of them.
How did I know there would be a drunk sex scene in this. ???
I gave no details, but it IS heavily implied. XD
The sex scene is why I can't write fanfictions. Because I tend to write on more adult matters, I always have to go into the sex scene at some point.
I'm trying to write a fanfiction for MTG lore but I'm still going into the sex scene. :(
I want to try and post it here, but I think that is overstepping some boundaries.
Sooo Kaalia had sex with her great great great grandfather?? 😱
Quote from: Mattao19 on January 06, 2014, 12:10:43 AM
Sooo Kaalia had sex with her great great great grandfather?? 😱
Oh I didn't think of it like that!!!
Scandalous!!!
Omg incest.
Yes, she did. I did that on purpose. XD
Lol, this story is really good so far......Wait a second, kaalia gets prego and and has a child that receives the blade but is taken by Liliana and is train and time goes on to where Liliana trains the child to wield the blade and in the end it's a duel between mother and child than Liliana dies to kaalia for making her kill her own child. That's my prediction based off of that you planned for them to have incest. And it will be a legendary fight due to it being a spawn of the planeswalker and kaalia.
But she would be both mother and great aunt to her child.... Like... Wut.
I love letting you guys theorise. It's great!
See, I think the child will die at birth, but the Pw guy put a spell on Kaalia so she wouldn't give birth so she wouldn't be distracted, but Kaalia will find out and attack him, but the PW will summon Liliana, who he's been working with that whole time, to kill Kaalia, but Kaalia will summon Avacyn, and Lili will summon Grislebrand, and they'll have an epic duel that ends up killing Kaalia.
I'm sorry, but why on earth would I kill Kaalia?
I don't know.
SHES TO AMAZING TO KILL.
Chapter 7
Under New Management
The following morning, Kaalia woke to find herself alone in the bed. Despite knowing that her lover had things other than her to think about and do, she felt a small pang of sadness. Gathering the bed sheets around her, she began collecting her clothes and effects, laying them out on the bed.
"Kaalia?" Gil Reith's voice echoed down the hallway outside the door.
"Coming!" Kaalia shouted back, putting her clothes on and making sure the garments fit comfortably around her wings, hearing Gil Reiths laughter. "I'm sure you are."
She rushed out onto the plateau she often found him on, seeing the Archangel - her Archangel? She wasn't sure - leaning against the railing, arms folded casually and that characteristic grin plastered on his face. She stepped up next to him, slapping him lightly on the shoulder.
"Shut up."
Beyond the plateau, the endless maelstrom of power shifted into a darker shade, the red going into a bloody colour, the black seeming to suck all light around it in and the white dulling down to a steel grey colour. It had Kaalia entranced.
"How would you like to go home, Kaalia?"
The question broke her from her stupor. Frowning slightly, she thought about who was back home. There was the clergy, who were likely to be furious with and thankful to her for defending the town. There was Tarelle, who was left behind when Gil Reith had collected Kaalia. And there was her father, who she missed terribly. She looked the Archangel square in the eye.
"I'd like that. I've been gone so long, they probably think I'm dead."
"An opinion not helped by the fact that you have wings now."
Kaalia hadn't thought of that. "When can I go?"
"Immediately, if you like. Thank you for being such an amazing student, among other things."
Kaalia heard the laughter in his voice and winked at him. "Any time. Let's go."
With a single push of her wings, she launched into the air, spiralling as she went, then plummeted downwards, Gil Reith not far behind. It was only a matter of seconds before they breached the barrier separating Gil Reith's home realm into what he'd always called Gilbrack airspace. He watched Kaalia drift on the wind in the night sky, smiling proudly.
"You've done well, Kaalia. I'll miss you."
Kaalia turned and looked at him, frowning. "You're not staying?"
He shook his head. "They're not ready to receive me yet. Besides, I imagine they'll have their hands full with your flighty self without adding me to the mix."
Kaalia nodded sadly. "I understand. I take it you'll be watching?"
"With terribly great interest. See you round." With that, Gil Reith disappeared in a small burst of golden power. Breathing out slowly, Kaalia set her sights on her clergies Citadel, unaware of what awaited her.
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Kaalia knew something was amiss before she landed. Her gut felt heavy, and the Citadel seemed darker than usual. It was also deadly quiet. Walking up the steps and entering into the cavernous foyer, she looked around and saw a heap of guards posted along the sides of the large room, all of which were watching her closely. Up ahead, on the landing of the stairs that rose towards the East and West wings of the Citadel, she could see a lone figure, seemingly a woman. Walking towards her confidently to hide her growing apprehension, Kaalia stopped at the foot of the stairs. The woman up the top was ridiculously beautiful, with bright blue eyes and wavy blonde hair, fair skin and a slim figure. However, she looked like she'd sooner kill you than kiss you, with a cold expression that looked like it was cemented in and a cruel demeanour that looked effortless. She looked down at Kaalia with a smile that didn't reach her eyes, chilling Kaalia to her core.
"So nice of you to come down out of the clouds, Angel. We have a room set up for you. I am Mirroda, Headmistress of this Citadel, by the way. Guards!" Without a sound, two of the guards that Kaalia had seen earlier flanked her on both sides.
"Escort her to the questioning room. We need to know why there's an Angel here."
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Mirroda circled Kaalia, who was standing defiant to this tyrants gaze.
"Tell me again, without lying this time, who you are."
Kaalia groaned and rolled her eyes, her wings quivering slightly with agitation. "I told you before, my name is Kaalia Tenvir!"
"And I told you, she died defending a town from a necromancer attack. She's hailed as a hero, and she was human," Mirroda countered, looking pointedly at Kaalia's wings, making her glare back at Mirroda.
"I was in that attack. Don't you think I'd know if I was who I say I am?"
"Who attacked the town?"
"A Planeswalker necromancer named Liliana."
"Enough with the Planeswalker story! A necromancer did attack that town, but not this Liliana you keep mentioning."
"That's the truth!"
"That's not what our records say! Twelve years ago, a necromancer attacked a Gilbrack town, using spells he cast from a neighbouring town."
That made Kaalia stop.
"Wait...twelve...twelve years!? The attack was only a few months back! How the- Wait, he? Who did you capture for the attack?"
This time Mirroda smiled genuinely, even if it was with malice.
"We captured Kaalia's own father, Kresh Tenvir."
Somehow I knew I would have a reason to stay up till 1:20 reading fanfiction and then come on this site hoping for variety.
And while exploring variety I find another fanfiction... I feel so counter-productive. ._.
Anyway great chapter, sad to see Daddy Da Fo get captured, so far this lady reminded me of the intellectual bitch who hates the world, Kallia doesn't touch on the fact that she just had sex with her great grandfather (I mean seriously lady, have some morals), angels are now for some reason taboo???
I dunno, I be tired, I be tired, and I be tired. Good night
Drama bomb yo.
I just know that in my state of sleepiness, I actually came up with a good nickname for Kallia's dad. Daddy Da Fo sounds great!
Please bring this back
BUMP!!!!!
Strayknight we need you to finish this
He hasn't been online in a LONG time.
I know :(
I'm back now, after a terribly long hiatus. Just let me re-read this story to see where I am. If I don't like what I've been doing with it, I may just rewrite the whole thing to fit inside the theme of Khans of Tarkir.
Yay welcome back
Gonna get this removed. I'll go back to the drawing board and start rewriting this story, including myself (as a Planeswalker) in the story.
NOOOOOOO. I like going back and reading this.
Yeah cool! I was thinking with her garb and colours she fit in well to KTK! Lookin forward to it. Be a shame to get rid of this already rad story you put so much effort into however.
During my hiatus, I've become a better writer in terms of plot points and character realism. Basically, the new story will be about how I, as a Planeswalker, come across Kaalia, and how the two of us end up working together.
Consider it a fanfic for the origin of my Commander deck! :D
I'm guessing you came back here, looked at the story and thought to yourself, "What was I smoking?" XD
I have done that so many times! It's is nice to see you here, what happened?
Quote from: FlickerYourOwnIdentity on August 19, 2014, 08:46:57 AM
I'm guessing you came back here, looked at the story and thought to yourself, "What was I smoking?" XD
I have done that so many times! It's is nice to see you here, what happened?
Yeah, that was basically my train of thought.
I was taking a hiatus from Magic for a while to deal with some stuff. All good now.
Coolio, nice to have you!