So my sister is pregnant. Just got the text this morning. Neither of them have jobs. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO STUPID?!?!
A few deep breaths later I'm trying to rationalize not killing the scumbag, it almost seems worth the jail time. Sigh. Stupid, stupid people. (Just so we are clear, I'm not going to kill anyone, and while I'm happy for her, she is NOT ready for this.)
The two most common elements in this universe hydrogen and stupidity. Not necessarily in that order. -Albert Einstein
Abortion is always an option if its the first trimester
Seriously: bringing a life into this world with ill fitted parents is a terrible idea
The emotions attached to the duration pregnancy will make adoption harder
Just sayin
Another option is asking help raising the baby from your parents until your sister and/or the dad gets jobs
How old is you sister?
Haha I feel ya, man. Both of my siblings had children. 6 and 7 years later, neither of them are ready for it still. Although, both have stabilized a ton recently. Best of luck to her! And you! Haha
Not many people are ever really ready. When my gf got pregnant I didn't have a job and was only 23. Ready or not she was coming. So I searched for a job for 8 hrs every day until I found one. Basically what I'm saying is it doesn't matter if they are ready or not. What really matters is whether or not they step up and take care of their child the best they can.
Well, they have a few months to find jobs, and having kids changes many people for the better. They may surprise you.
I recently found out that a 10th grader that goes to my school is pregnant and she looks like the type of person that wouldn't step up
Quote from: Mozilla butcher on October 13, 2013, 08:05:23 PM
I recently found out that a 10th grader that goes to my school is pregnant and she looks like the type of person that wouldn't step up
Looks can be deceiving. My cousin was 17 when she got pregnant and had nvr had any responsibilities growing up. She struggles everyday, but she lives for her son. Nvr has extra money and hardly ever has any extra time to do anything. But her son has everything he needs, always.
Quote from: Vampyvyrus on October 13, 2013, 08:12:46 PM
Quote from: Mozilla butcher on October 13, 2013, 08:05:23 PM
I recently found out that a 10th grader that goes to my school is pregnant and she looks like the type of person that wouldn't step up
Looks can be deceiving. My cousin was 17 when she got pregnant and had nvr had any responsibilities growing up. She struggles everyday, but she lives for her son. Nvr has extra money and hardly ever has any extra time to do anything. But her son has everything he needs, always.
Yeah I've been known to bite my words before well see whether I'm right or wrong in a couple months
Quote from: Mozilla butcher on October 13, 2013, 08:21:26 PM
Quote from: Vampyvyrus on October 13, 2013, 08:12:46 PM
Quote from: Mozilla butcher on October 13, 2013, 08:05:23 PM
I recently found out that a 10th grader that goes to my school is pregnant and she looks like the type of person that wouldn't step up
Looks can be deceiving. My cousin was 17 when she got pregnant and had nvr had any responsibilities growing up. She struggles everyday, but she lives for her son. Nvr has extra money and hardly ever has any extra time to do anything. But her son has everything he needs, always.
Yeah I've been known to bite my words before well see whether I'm right or wrong in a couple months
In all honesty...I hope you do have to bite your own words. No offense. There's too much child neglect in this world as it is and I hate the thought of there being more.
Quote from: Vampyvyrus on October 13, 2013, 08:26:20 PM
Quote from: Mozilla butcher on October 13, 2013, 08:21:26 PM
Quote from: Vampyvyrus on October 13, 2013, 08:12:46 PM
Quote from: Mozilla butcher on October 13, 2013, 08:05:23 PM
I recently found out that a 10th grader that goes to my school is pregnant and she looks like the type of person that wouldn't step up
Looks can be deceiving. My cousin was 17 when she got pregnant and had nvr had any responsibilities growing up. She struggles everyday, but she lives for her son. Nvr has extra money and hardly ever has any extra time to do anything. But her son has everything he needs, always.
Yeah I've been known to bite my words before well see whether I'm right or wrong in a couple months
In all honesty...I hope you do have to bite your own words. No offense. There's too much child neglect in this world as it is and I hate the thought of there being more.
Yeah I love being wrong when it comes to this too, it makes me a better person. As my soccer coach said " if you've never made a mistake you've never lived"
No one is ever "ready" for children. I was married for 9 years before we had our first and now expecting our second. I am in a very stable upper middle class pay career and it was still hard. Being a parent is the most difficult and rewarding experience. Your sister may surprise you yet and rise to the change, and likely be a better person for it. I truly hope she does.
I wouldn't consider this straight stupidity unless they absolutely had no intention of having a child however! If they both consented and wanted this. All you can do is respect their choice as coming adults. However!
As they've all said it depends on the parents ability to step up and put all unimportant matters aside. What's important is that child and making sure it gets as good a start as possible. Also might not be terrible giving a helping hand as an uncle (and a brother) but all you can do now is wait and see how it goes!
And to the person mentioning abortion...I'd like to respectfully disagree with your point of view...
Well for some background she's 19, with no extra schooling. One of the main reasons I'm upset is the unknown condition of her heart, which has caused problems with holding jobs and general life. She has just over 10k debt in hospital bills alone already.
Next is her filthy scumbag boyfriend, who is 25 and can't hold a job for more than 6 months. This is due to a drug problem he can't seem to kick. What's worse is she's replaying my mothers life, and not learning from it as my father abused drugs and as such was never a large part of our lives. He is also facing possible jail time after assaulting one of his cousins.
She believes herself ready, but she has no idea what she's gotten herself into.
I truely hope they both wisen up but it's not looking good.
As to abortion, she wouldn't go for it. I think it would crush her. Same with adoption. Sigh.
I'd really love to help, but I did recently move a state away, and with no transportation and a full time job that's going to be really hard.
So she's your half sister than?
I was 33 when my girl came into the world. even at that ripe old age I still didn't realize what a selfish man child I was until I had to set my life aside for going on 2 years. It'll grow them right up. I just hope the baby doesn't suffer while they get their poop in a group.
Quote from: Vyse on October 14, 2013, 09:33:16 AM
Well for some background she's 19, with no extra schooling. One of the main reasons I'm upset is the unknown condition of her heart, which has caused problems with holding jobs and general life. She has just over 10k debt in hospital bills alone already.
Next is her filthy scumbag boyfriend, who is 25 and can't hold a job for more than 6 months. This is due to a drug problem he can't seem to kick. What's worse is she's replaying my mothers life, and not learning from it as my father abused drugs and as such was never a large part of our lives. He is also facing possible jail time after assaulting one of his cousins.
She believes herself ready, but she has no idea what she's gotten herself into.
I truely hope they both wisen up but it's not looking good.
As to abortion, she wouldn't go for it. I think it would crush her. Same with adoption. Sigh.
I'd really love to help, but I did recently move a state away, and with no transportation and a full time job that's going to be really hard.
Those of you who disagree with abortion:
This woman and man who can barely take care of themselves are going to a bring a young life into poverty, 18 years of more that youth will have to depend on those people.
Please those of you who hate the word "abortion":
Reread the quoted text and just think: bringing a child into the world to fix the lives of two individuals? That sounds so naive. That child will have a drug addled dad who jumps between jail, his dealers house and occasionally home to see his kid. This guy is 25 hooking up with a 19 year old. There is some manipulation of age going on in their relationship.
No job or savings and over $10k in bills will only increase with a baby being born.
Her health complications can also affect the potential life from being born or being born with health issues itself.
OP also mentions his Dad wasnt around much, so with his sisters BF being Johnny No Do Good, it raises her chances of being a single mother on welfare/eBt/Medicare.
Sure a child can live a happy life with a single mom, I'm not refuting that, but with the circumstances given, the odds are against that optimal situation. Statistics are terrible to go with at times due to subject matter, but statistics are the way we should analyze situations as outsiders, not just emotionally,
I feel the OP has watched over his sister growing up and now that he is away, it makes it very hard to watch and care over his family
#imabigbrotherwithsisterstoo
Edit:
OP - you said he was trying to kick his drug habit but couldn't....what drug? The word kick is usually associated with heroin addiction
Quote from: Vyse on October 14, 2013, 09:33:16 AM
Well for some background she's 19, with no extra schooling. One of the main reasons I'm upset is the unknown condition of her heart, which has caused problems with holding jobs and general life. She has just over 10k debt in hospital bills alone already.
Next is her filthy scumbag boyfriend, who is 25 and can't hold a job for more than 6 months. This is due to a drug problem he can't seem to kick. What's worse is she's replaying my mothers life, and not learning from it as my father abused drugs and as such was never a large part of our lives. He is also facing possible jail time after assaulting one of his cousins.
She believes herself ready, but she has no idea what she's gotten herself into.
I truely hope they both wisen up but it's not looking good.
As to abortion, she wouldn't go for it. I think it would crush her. Same with adoption. Sigh.
I'd really love to help, but I did recently move a state away, and with no transportation and a full time job that's going to be really hard.
I feel for you man. You're a good brother/uncle for caring. But life happens and hopefully they rise to the challenge if not, it's not your fault and the most that you can do is support her. It's a shame that kids are immediately shown a world with bad conditions and with bad parents. I was brought up with great parents who I love and respect so much!
But my thoughts and prayers go out to the kid. Good luck to you as well :D
She's my full sister, my mom never married and it was the same guy, she left him soon after.
As for his drug it's mostly marijuana, which didn't bug me, but I believe it's also meth as that's what's popular here in the Midwest with trash.
I'm glad to hear all your wishes, honestly she needs them. We will do our best to support her but this is her chance to wake up to the real world and it better happen fast.
Quote from: Muggywuggy on October 14, 2013, 02:38:10 PM
Quote from: Vyse on October 14, 2013, 09:33:16 AM
Well for some background she's 19, with no extra schooling. One of the main reasons I'm upset is the unknown condition of her heart, which has caused problems with holding jobs and general life. She has just over 10k debt in hospital bills alone already.
Next is her filthy scumbag boyfriend, who is 25 and can't hold a job for more than 6 months. This is due to a drug problem he can't seem to kick. What's worse is she's replaying my mothers life, and not learning from it as my father abused drugs and as such was never a large part of our lives. He is also facing possible jail time after assaulting one of his cousins.
She believes herself ready, but she has no idea what she's gotten herself into.
I truely hope they both wisen up but it's not looking good.
As to abortion, she wouldn't go for it. I think it would crush her. Same with adoption. Sigh.
I'd really love to help, but I did recently move a state away, and with no transportation and a full time job that's going to be really hard.
Those of you who disagree with abortion:
This woman and man who can barely take care of themselves are going to a bring a young life into poverty, 18 years of more that youth will have to depend on those people.
Please those of you who hate the word "abortion":
Reread the quoted text and just think: bringing a child into the world to fix the lives of two individuals? That sounds so naive. That child will have a drug addled dad who jumps between jail, his dealers house and occasionally home to see his kid. This guy is 25 hooking up with a 19 year old. There is some manipulation of age going on in their relationship.
No job or savings and over $10k in bills will only increase with a baby being born.
Her health complications can also affect the potential life from being born or being born with health issues itself.
OP also mentions his Dad wasnt around much, so with his sisters BF being Johnny No Do Good, it raises her chances of being a single mother on welfare/eBt/Medicare.
Sure a child can live a happy life with a single mom, I'm not refuting that, but with the circumstances given, the odds are against that optimal situation. Statistics are terrible to go with at times due to subject matter, but statistics are the way we should analyze situations as outsiders, not just emotionally,
I feel the OP has watched over his sister growing up and now that he is away, it makes it very hard to watch and care over his family
#imabigbrotherwithsisterstoo
Edit:
OP - you said he was trying to kick his drug habit but couldn't....what drug? The word kick is usually associated with heroin addiction
._. Nobody said anything about hating the word abortion. I don't hate the word either, I'm just not up for killing unborn children. Always morally wrong, I just hope that they can stabilize and find work.
I do wonder why the word abortion is slung around so frivolously. Abortion is emotionally and physically scarring; there will always be regret and what ifs. Birth control and condoms DO work, most people just choose not to use them because they think that it'll never happen to them.....and then they get pregnant. And here comes the word abortion...
I'm sorry, but I don't consider abortion a type of birth control. I consider it a curse that a woman and potentially a man will have to live with for the rest of their lives.
Quote from: LadyGrixis on October 14, 2013, 08:23:19 PM
I do wonder why the word abortion is slung around so frivolously. Abortion is emotionally and physically scarring; there will always be regret and what ifs. Birth control and condoms DO work, most people just choose not to use them because they think that it'll never happen to them.....and then they get pregnant. And here comes the word abortion...
I'm sorry, but I don't consider abortion a type of birth control. I consider it a curse that a woman and potentially a man will have to live with for the rest of their lives.
Truth.
I've always been raised believing it as completely wrong. So I don't agree with it. However not exactly the issue. I do hope your sister can do the best she can! And I truly hope that her boyfriend isnt doing anything that serious like meth...and if so...having a kid better straighten him out...
Best of wishes to you and your family. And I truly hope they can raise that child right.
Quote from: LadyGrixis on October 14, 2013, 08:23:19 PM
I do wonder why the word abortion is slung around so frivolously. Abortion is emotionally and physically scarring; there will always be regret and what ifs. Birth control and condoms DO work, most people just choose not to use them because they think that it'll never happen to them.....and then they get pregnant. And here comes the word abortion...
I'm sorry, but I don't consider abortion a type of birth control. I consider it a curse that a woman and potentially a man will have to live with for the rest of their lives.
Quite frankly, you simply cannot speak for anyone else's feelings. You may feel regret and what ifs if you had gone through this, but another woman might not.
And please continue to preach about how birth control does work when my almost three year old is the result of a faulty IUD. Nothing is 100%.
While I agree that the first abortion comment on here was entirely uncalled for, as it is not his place to tell this pregnant woman that she should have one, it is just as uncalled for to making sweeping generalizations about birth control, women who end up pregnant, and abortion.
I'm not speaking for anyone, but I do have a close friend who decided the abortion was her only option. And now, 3 years later, she still regrets the decision.
I also never said birth control was foolproof; I said that those who choose not to use it are setting themselves up for a huge risk of getting pregnant.
I don't know what it's like and I certainly can't speak for anyone else, however, I would never wish the pain that my friend goes through on the daily on anyone else.
I hope your sister can decide what is best for both herself and the child <3