Dude(s) I need some help. I have never had a girlfriend before and there is this girl I really like. I really don't know what to do or say. I am really nervous and need some encouragement.
Any advice would be awesome. Thanks peoples.
Ducttapetitan
First off, how old are each of you? Also what things do you have in common?
I'm like 17 and she's 16. We are both sports minded. She is just really nice.
Dont be nervous, it's a turn off for anyone who doesnt have mental or emotional issues. Now for the part people forget to tell you, how to not be nervous.
Nervousness stems from insecurity which usually takes form of questioning one's own worth. Thoughts like "do i look ok" "am i sweating, can she see that i am" "am i going to say something stupid" etc.
What you need to remember is that every one around you is thinking the same things (otherwise you wouldve learned think differently). The first person in a group to truly learn and apply this knowledge will rule the group and achieve great (though sometimes terrible) things. 20 seconds of aboslute courage is all it takes. If you can set aside the insecurities for 20 seconds and say what you want to say, youll be amazed at the results.
Quote from: Kaleo42 on January 23, 2013, 09:15:52 PM
Dont be nervous, it's a turn off for anyone who doesnt have mental or emotional issues. Now for the part people forget to tell you, how to not be nervous.
Nervousness stems from insecurity which usually takes form of questioning one's own worth. Thoughts like "do i look ok" "am i sweating, can she see that i am" "am i going to say something stupid" etc.
What you need to remember is that every one around you is thinking the same things (otherwise you wouldve learned think differently). The first person in a group to truly learn and apply this knowledge will rule the group and achieve great (though sometimes terrible) things. 20 seconds of aboslute courage is all it takes. If you can set aside the insecurities for 20 seconds and say what you want to say, youll be amazed at the results.
Ummm kaleo your definetly helping me with this girl I really like ahahaha :O
It's also not a good idea to wait for "the perfect moment" because that never comes
Oh and get to know her more, hang out, talk more and all that and then before you ask her out tell her you like her then a week after ask her out :)
I have like never talked to any girls ever. But we will see.
Quote from: ducttapetitan on January 23, 2013, 10:09:10 PM
I have like never talked to any girls ever. But we will see.
Start with something funny or stupid then she will text back!! Cause I like this girl and I go to everyone of her basketball games!! Do that and your set 👍
I don't have a phone.
Quote from: ducttapetitan on January 23, 2013, 10:21:53 PM
I don't have a phone.
Well, that's gonna be kinda hard then but here is what you do. Take her to a place just you and here look at her straight in the eyes, then reach and hold both of her hands, then stare at her and start saying like" I liked you for a while, I can't get you out of my mind, etc." then ask this exact question" will you be my girlfriend??" And she will most likely say yes
Just be yourself, as corny as that may sound. Be confident as Kaleo suggested, and just be you. If she's not cool with that, she's not worth hanging out with ;)
Be yourself, take interest in what she says, be nice, make sure you smell nice, and are dressed in clean clothes, invite her to either to cinema then food somewhere, or out for coffee,
Be yourself, if she can't respect that she isn't for you. Don't try to impress her (i mean yes try to but don't be super obvious about it). If you have known her for awhile it makes it a lot easier, trust me on this one. My best friend of 10 years is now my girlfriend of almost 2yrs. Oh and don't over think it, or stress over it, you will know exactly when the time has come to ask her, when that time comes don't hesitate at all. Don't try and prepare a "speech" things never go the way you expect them to, just go into a conversation being confident. COMPLIMENTS are the key to a girls heart, no not those cheesy @$$ pick up lines like "hey girl are you a smoke detector because you're loud and annoying" or "did you fall from heaven because have sex with me (however I will come back to this)", avoid words like hot and sexy, use words like gorgeous and beautiful. If you can make her laugh it makes things a hella lot easier, try some cheesy pick-up line (if you know her well enough so she knows you are kidding), don't over due this though, if it seems like you are trying to hard to be funny it makes you seem desperate/needy. Don't try to hard to get her attention or be mean to her, this is not funny, do not treat her any less than you would yourself times 10, in elementary school we were told "you bug em you love em" well that couldn't be further from the truth, sure there are some girls (personally I call them crazy or Rhianna) that are attracted to the @$$holes that treat them terribly. On and last point, be compassionate, listen to what she has to say and show her you care about her, girls love a guy who is sensitive on the inside. So lets review,
Lots of compliments (but not too many it's up to you to find that line)
Be yourself
Be funny
Don't be too over prepared
Don't over think this process
Don't be an @$$
Timing is key
And
compassion
Of you follow those simple steps you should find yourself with a girl very soon! Good luck! Any other questions feel free to PM me!
As a girl I must say, shy guys are cute! ^_^ show off your brains, if you play magic I assume you have one. Talk about things you both like and if she seems into it, introduce her to MtG ^_^ it's a fun hobby that my bf got me into and now it's something we enjoy together. (tho he still beats me almost every time lol) also, be mature, stay calm and don't be to pushy in the begining ok? Take it slow and if your really shy start with getting her number and maybe even consider asking her out over txt. It's not conventional but if she likes you it'll be ok
Quote from: Potticus on January 24, 2013, 01:13:35 AM
Uhm tl;dr version.
Be yourself, don't try to fit what you think she likes.
If you just ask her to a movie and she says yes. You're half way there. She said yes to go on a date with you, remember that. She said yes when she could have said no.
Just take her to a movie and ice cream after. Don't ask her out or try to make any moves, it's just the first date. If you want to try to hold hands that's ok or put your arm around her.
Get a second date, something a little more fun like laser tag or a dinner date. Same rules apply.
Try to get her to hang out at your house eventually, I asked my gf out while watching a movie and just laying together. That was also my first kiss with her. We didn't have a crazy makeout session or anything just some kissing. Don't expect anything over the top.
Few tips.
ALWAYS open the damn door for her.
Tell her she looks good in a positive way. "Wow, you look great tonight" something like that.
Always look at her when possible when talking. She wants to talk with you not just talk In general.
And ofcourse, try to relax. Hell ya you'll be nervous but we all are.
These deffinately are good rules to follow at least in my mind. I personally don't plan on making a "move" any time soon. I personally kick but at lazer tag so I don't know if that is such a good idea or not:). I really appreciate your comments as this is a tricky subject
for me.
Don't try to hard. Sometimes being a little aloof can be a good thing. If you think you see a sign that she likes you, don't jump then (figuratively) and ask her about it. Treat her kindly, but don't shower her with affection. Because she may come to expect this and expect this all the time. Don't let your emotinal baggage get in the way. And You have nothing to worry about. If she says no, at least you tried. It's not like you'll die if she says no
Oh. And openness and honesty are an absolute must
Quote from: Keira122 on January 24, 2013, 01:17:43 AM
As a girl I must say, shy guys are cute! ^_^ show off your brains, if you play magic I assume you have one. Talk about things you both like and if she seems into it, introduce her to MtG ^_^ it's a fun hobby that my bf got me into and now it's something we enjoy together. (tho he still beats me almost every time lol) also, be mature, stay calm and don't be to pushy in the begining ok? Take it slow and if your really shy start with getting her number and maybe even consider asking her out over txt. It's not conventional but if she likes you it'll be ok
Is it actually ok to ask a girl out over text? There is a girl I like- she's very shy, but I think she likes me back. We talk over Facebook, but not really in school.
I only have her number because a friend gave it to me, I feel like it would be weird to text her out of the blue. I would try to talk to her more in person, but my school is large and we have no classes together this new semester.
Thanks!
Do NOT ask electronically. If you want to be different than the other guys and make her actually give a .poo. (haha nice auto correct) about you then talk to her like she is a person not a chat line.
Quote from: Xaol on January 24, 2013, 03:48:55 PM
Quote from: Keira122 on January 24, 2013, 01:17:43 AM
As a girl I must say, shy guys are cute! ^_^ show off your brains, if you play magic I assume you have one. Talk about things you both like and if she seems into it, introduce her to MtG ^_^ it's a fun hobby that my bf got me into and now it's something we enjoy together. (tho he still beats me almost every time lol) also, be mature, stay calm and don't be to pushy in the begining ok? Take it slow and if your really shy start with getting her number and maybe even consider asking her out over txt. It's not conventional but if she likes you it'll be ok
Is it actually ok to ask a girl out over text? There is a girl I like- she's very shy, but I think she likes me back. We talk over Facebook, but not really in school.
I only have her number because a friend gave it to me, I feel like it would be weird to text her out of the blue. I would try to talk to her more in person, but my school is large and we have no classes together this new semester.
Thanks!
It can be ok, you don't have to just bring it up out of the blue, txt her more. Drop little hints. Compliment her. If your goin to ask a girl out over txt take your time, about a week of virtual flirting before you spring it on her. Also a good thing to do is just tell her you want to ask her something (after the week or so of hint dropping) then say nevermind. If she wants you to ask shell tell you to just ask if she's not interested she's likely to just say ok. ^_^ often times you boys arnt as subtle as you think, but that can be good.
Quote from: Kaleo42 on January 24, 2013, 04:19:16 PM
Do NOT ask electronically. If you want to be different than the other guys and make her actually give a .poo. (haha nice auto correct) about you then talk to her like she is a person not a chat line.
Asking out doesn't have to be in person, that's jus kinda the age we live in I think. And like I said, if she likes you it won't matter how you ask her out as Long as your sweet about it. Also I agree with the earlyer post, delete her number, then get it from her. I hate when people give my number out randomly and I get people texting me that I don't even really know. If I want you to have my number I'll give it to you when you ask. ^_^
Quote from: Potticus on January 24, 2013, 04:32:58 PM
Quote from: Kaleo42 on January 24, 2013, 04:19:16 PM
Do NOT ask electronically. If you want to be different than the other guys and make her actually give a .poo. (haha nice auto correct) about you then talk to her like she is a person not a chat line.
In this day and age it's how it goes. Just asking her to a date via text is fine. Don't ever ask a woman to be your girlfriend via text. (That might be what you're going for) because then you deserve a no.
That's what I was getting at, and if the date goes well then ask her to be your girlfriend. (that must always be done in person.)
Sorry I'm posting so much! I just have a lot to say on this subject lol ^_^
Quote from: Keira122 on January 24, 2013, 05:01:57 PM
Quote from: Potticus on January 24, 2013, 04:32:58 PM
Quote from: Kaleo42 on January 24, 2013, 04:19:16 PM
Do NOT ask electronically. If you want to be different than the other guys and make her actually give a .poo. (haha nice auto correct) about you then talk to her like she is a person not a chat line.
In this day and age it's how it goes. Just asking her to a date via text is fine. Don't ever ask a woman to be your girlfriend via text. (That might be what you're going for) because then you deserve a no.
That's what I was getting at, and if the date goes well then ask her to be your girlfriend. (that must always be done in person.)
Sorry I'm posting so much! I just have a lot to say on this subject lol ^_^
Your gonna help me with my girl problems. Well there is this girl both of us like basketball a lot and I go to all her games. I told her last Friday and then we texted til like Sunday. Since then she never texted back and I was gonna tell her tomorrow!! Help please 😄😄
Say what you want about the day and age, communication is still better in person. 85% of communication is lost in electronic communication. Yes it's "acceptable" to text important things, but I would hope you want to be a more than "acceptable" guy.
Thanks guys. I actually was able to say hi (after a day of almost throwing up). She actually responded to my text:) so we will see what happens.
And then one more tip. If you are gonna text her to ask her out say" can I ask you a question??" Then when she says ok say nevermind. Then if she wants you to ask then she will say yes. If se just says "ok" then she doesn't care about you :) that's the bad news
Quote from: All-Mana Mania on January 24, 2013, 11:22:38 PM
And then one more tip. If you are gonna text her to ask her out say" can I ask you a question??" Then when she says ok say nevermind. Then if she wants you to ask then she will say yes. If se just says "ok" then she doesn't care about you :) that's the bad news
Please dont do this
Even though I may be shy, once I get started I am really upfront about things. So I will not do that.
So clearly being the proud owner of a uterus, I know all related to girls (Haha woah comical genius too).
But yeah most of the advice is legit. Generally I can tell a guy is into me if we talk a lot, makes an effort to text, etc. It's also what I do when I want the d. So def do that!! Just make an extra effort to be around her. If she likes your company keep up with it, but if she seems distant/uncomfortable back up a little.
Obviously be yourself. Like no brainer for that one.
Man it's pretty difficult to give advice not knowing her well since all gals like different things. For example the 'Did you fall from heaven because have sex with me' would have certainly swooned me. Really be yourself, talk with her a lot, and just get comfortable being around her. And when you get to the point where you feel like you've established a good connection and aren't swooning level nervous just go for it!! And good luck!
Quote from: All-Mana Mania on January 24, 2013, 11:22:38 PM
And then one more tip. If you are gonna text her to ask her out say" can I ask you a question??" Then when she says ok say nevermind. Then if she wants you to ask then she will say yes. If se just says "ok" then she doesn't care about you :) that's the bad news
That's what I said! :D
Quote from: All-Mana Mania on January 24, 2013, 05:17:21 PM
Quote from: Keira122 on January 24, 2013, 05:01:57 PM
Quote from: Potticus on January 24, 2013, 04:32:58 PM
Quote from: Kaleo42 on January 24, 2013, 04:19:16 PM
Do NOT ask electronically. If you want to be different than the other guys and make her actually give a .poo. (haha nice auto correct) about you then talk to her like she is a person not a chat line.
In this day and age it's how it goes. Just asking her to a date via text is fine. Don't ever ask a woman to be your girlfriend via text. (That might be what you're going for) because then you deserve a no.
That's what I was getting at, and if the date goes well then ask her to be your girlfriend. (that must always be done in person.)
Sorry I'm posting so much! I just have a lot to say on this subject lol ^_^
Your gonna help me with my girl problems. Well there is this girl both of us like basketball a lot and I go to all her games. I told her last Friday and then we texted til like Sunday. Since then she never texted back and I was gonna tell her tomorrow!! Help please 😄😄
I say you ask her if she wants to hang out. A casual friendly gathering. ^_^ take her bowling or something lol! Then ask in person after the almost date.
Quote from: Keira122 on January 25, 2013, 01:07:04 AM
Quote from: All-Mana Mania on January 24, 2013, 11:22:38 PM
And then one more tip. If you are gonna text her to ask her out say" can I ask you a question??" Then when she says ok say nevermind. Then if she wants you to ask then she will say yes. If se just says "ok" then she doesn't care about you :) that's the bad news
That's what I said! :D
Nah I agree with Kaleo I wouldn't. Literally any of my guy/girl friends could text me asking a question, say nvm, and I would bug the hell out of them whether I was romantically interested or not. Also again not knowing personality of said girl, maybe she isn't pushy so she would just say ok regardless of whether she cares or not. Also her saying ok doesn't mean she doesn't care and that's a pretty harsh way of putting it ha!
Idk man I'm just not one for being asked electronically. I'd prefer human contact broski.
Quote from: HipsterBundleOfSticks on January 25, 2013, 01:12:34 AM
Quote from: Keira122 on January 25, 2013, 01:07:04 AM
Quote from: All-Mana Mania on January 24, 2013, 11:22:38 PM
And then one more tip. If you are gonna text her to ask her out say" can I ask you a question??" Then when she says ok say nevermind. Then if she wants you to ask then she will say yes. If se just says "ok" then she doesn't care about you :) that's the bad news
That's what I said! :D
Nah I agree with Kaleo I wouldn't. Literally any of my guy/girl friends could text me asking a question, say nvm, and I would bug the hell out of them whether I was romantically interested or not. Also again not knowing personality of said girl, maybe she isn't pushy so she would just say ok regardless of whether she cares or not. Also her saying ok doesn't mean she doesn't care and that's a pretty harsh way of putting it ha!
Idk man I'm just not one for being asked electronically. I'd prefer human contact broski.
Ahhh see but the genius of it is if hes sitting there flirting with her via txt and not so subtly, then if says he has a question to ask then any girl with half a mind would pick up what he was going to ask before he asked. ^_^
Quote from: Keira122 on January 25, 2013, 01:15:48 AM
Ahhh see but the genius of it is if hes sitting there flirting with her via txt and not so subtly, then if says he has a question to ask then any girl with half a mind would pick up what he was going to ask before he asked. ^_^
See I feel like if he was not so subtly flirting and then tried a tactic like that I'd just get annoyed. Like come on dude just ask it don't kitty out. Then again I'm still not a fan of doing this stuff electronically, haha. The whole thing just seems more convoluted than what it's actually worth. If you get to the point where you feel comfortable asking her out go for it; don't make things harder than they need to be.
Getting way to complicated ;)
Be straightforward. That's confidence.
Don't play mind games. That's respect.
Be yourself. That's genuine.
Quote from: All-Mana Mania on January 24, 2013, 11:22:38 PM
And then one more tip. If you are gonna text her to ask her out say" can I ask you a question??" Then when she says ok say nevermind. Then if she wants you to ask then she will say yes. If se just says "ok" then she doesn't care about you :) that's the bad news
And then sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar.
Quote from: Gorzo on January 25, 2013, 02:33:12 AM
Getting way to complicated ;)
Be straightforward. That's confidence.
Don't play mind games. That's respect.
Be yourself. That's genuine.
+1
Confidence is how you get their attention.
Respect, honesty and being genuine is how you keep it.
Oh and chivalry is not dead, the little things really do count. Ask your mum. ;)
Quote from: HipsterBundleOfSticks on January 25, 2013, 12:59:25 AM
So clearly being the proud owner of a uterus, I know all related to girls (Haha woah comical genius too).
But yeah most of the advice is legit. Generally I can tell a guy is into me if we talk a lot, makes an effort to text, etc. It's also what I do when I want the d. So def do that!! Just make an extra effort to be around her. If she likes your company keep up with it, but if she seems distant/uncomfortable back up a little.
Obviously be yourself. Like no brainer for that one.
Man it's pretty difficult to give advice not knowing her well since all gals like different things. For example the 'Did you fall from heaven because have sex with me' would have certainly swooned me. Really be yourself, talk with her a lot, and just get comfortable being around her. And when you get to the point where you feel like you've established a good connection and aren't swooning level nervous just go for it!! And good luck!
AHA! I knew it wasn't the worst pick up line In the world
Dude, take a cue from hipsterbundleofsticks. Get a mustache. It won't matter what you do or say cause you'll have a mustache. She won't be able to resist you cause... Mustache.
Quote from: Langku on January 31, 2013, 02:54:58 AM
Dude, take a cue from hipsterbundleofsticks. Get a mustache. It won't matter what you do or say cause you'll have a mustache. She won't be able to resist you cause... Mustache.
Exactly. Beards are overrated. It's all about them sweet 'staches.
What mikefrompluto said.
Quote from: Potticus on January 31, 2013, 12:33:40 PM
Mustache march is right around the corner
Que Super Mario theme music (game one, level one)