Mines prolly
Chuck Norris wil lnever die from a heart attack because his heart isnt that foolish to attack him
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a deadly snake, and after 3 days of agonizing pain, the snake finally died.
After acquiring a book of 400, several shirts, and a couple posters, it's hard to name a favorite.
"Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head" "Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door" and "A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After several days of excruciating pain, the cobra died." Are a few of my favorites.
When chuck norris jumps in water he doesnt get wet, water gets chuck norris.
I miss good old barrens chat from (wow)
When monsters go to bed at night, they check their closets for chuck Norris.
When chuck Norris's mother was going into labor, he was the doctor delivering himself
Chuck Norris can connect three.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity....twice.
Chuck Norris was the first person to discover uranium. It's his DNA.
Ever wonder who taught the force to Yoda? It was Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. I'm not talking about heritage, the man ate a damn Jeep!
Trick question. There are no good Chuck Norris lines.
The Black Eyed Peas were just called the Peas. Then Chuck Norris got done with them
Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer. To bad he never cries. EVER!!!!
Chuck Norris can round house kick so fast it is possible for him to round house your face yesterday!
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They're now known as the Islands.
Chuck Norris actually lives in a round house.
There are no streets named after Chuck Norris because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Overgrown Chin
{B}{B}
Instant
Replace all instances of Chuck Norris with Bruce Campbell.
"Hail to the king baby!"
Quote from: Mikefrompluto on September 25, 2012, 10:03:09 AM
Overgrown Chin
{B}{B}
Instant
Replace all instances of Chuck Norris with Bruce Campbell.
"Hail to the king baby!"
Chuck Norris will come for you...
Quote from: AgrusKos on September 25, 2012, 10:04:17 AM
Quote from: Mikefrompluto on September 25, 2012, 10:03:09 AM
Overgrown Chin
{B}{B}
Instant
Replace all instances of Chuck Norris with Bruce Campbell.
"Hail to the king baby!"
Chuck Norris will come for you...
Ill just hide behind Bruce's chin. Chuck's roundhouse kick can't penetrate it.
Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.
The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Quote from: Mikefrompluto on September 25, 2012, 10:03:09 AM
Overgrown Chin
{B}{B}
Instant
Replace all instances of Chuck Norris with Bruce Campbell.
"Hail to the king baby!"
Chuck Norris can kill you. Bruce Campbell can talk you into doing it yourself.
Quote from: Kareason on September 25, 2012, 11:05:12 AM
Quote from: Mikefrompluto on September 25, 2012, 10:03:09 AM
Overgrown Chin
{B}{B}
Instant
Replace all instances of Chuck Norris with Bruce Campbell.
"Hail to the king baby!"
Chuck Norris can kill you. Bruce Campbell can talk you into doing it yourself.
Exactly.
Chuck Norris pissed in a can, now we have Red Bull.
Chuck Norris can't get a woman pregnant.
It has nothing to do with his fertility. No woman has ever survived the experience.
Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero.
Chuck Norris once beat Super Mario Bros. in 20 mins. Well, he actually just glared at it until it beat itself.
Chuck Norris cannot technically hit himself. That would mean an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.
Chuck Norris can solve world peace. His rules.
When chuck Norris wants butter, he doesn't buy it from the store. He roundhouse kicks the cow, the impact churns the milk into butter and shoots out into a solid stick.
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn't bleed. He only gets rid of things unworthy.
It is said that the tears of chuck Norris can cure cancer. Unfortunately chuck Norris has never cried.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Jesus may have walked on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck. That semi truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris makes onion's cry.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Quote from: cltrn81 on September 25, 2012, 09:54:05 PM
Jesus may have walked on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
one of my favs!
Wow I hit a popular topic :)
Chuck Norris, Armold Swhartchenhager (bad spelling haha ???) and Silvester Stalone (rocky balboa) all died at the same time (theoretically)
They are lined up in front of GOD and he has 1 empty seat beside him
He asks the 3 why do you think you deserve to sit in the chair beside me?
Arnold says;
I believe being the governner and everythaaang I put a positive influence on the world
GOD; ok Silvester your turn
Silvester; I believe I had a positive influence through all my movies to never give up
GOD; ok chuck what do u got to say?
CHUCK NORRIS;
Hey god, your in my seat bud!
Quote from: Mikefrompluto on September 25, 2012, 10:07:03 AM
Quote from: AgrusKos on September 25, 2012, 10:04:17 AM
Quote from: Mikefrompluto on September 25, 2012, 10:03:09 AM
Overgrown Chin
{B}{B}
Instant
Replace all instances of Chuck Norris with Bruce Campbell.
"Hail to the king baby!"
Chuck Norris will come for you...
Ill just hide behind Bruce's chin. Chuck's roundhouse kick can't penetrate it.
Sh!t just got serious!
Quote from: cltrn81 on September 25, 2012, 09:58:00 PM
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
This made me laugh so hard
Who's more powerful Chuck Norris or God? Trick question. Chuck Norris IS GOD!
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the 💩 out of it.
Chuck Norris and Superman fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris p!ssed in a can once.....now we have Red Bull.
Chuck Norris only has one offspring. His name is God.
Chuck Norris is the "end all, be all." And no one ever makes it to the be all.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to stop at "stop signs." He just yells "PUNCH IT!" And a wookie hits the hyperdrive. Then he roundhouse kicks the sign.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck noris doesn't go swimming. Water just wants to be around him.
He attacks sharks when he smells them bleed.
He split the union with a round house kick.
Abe Lincoln may have freed the slaves but chuck is everyone's master.
His fist make the speed of light wish it were faster.
(I got all of these from nicepeter's epic rap battles of history-Abe versus chuck.)
Quote from: smokin terry on September 28, 2012, 09:38:57 AM
Chuck noris doesn't go swimming. Water just wants to be around him.
He attacks sharks when he smells them bleed.
He split the union with a round house kick.
Abe Lincoln may have freed the slaves but chuck is everyone's master.
His fist make the speed of light wish it were faster.
(I got all of these from nicepeter's epic rap battles of history-Abe versus chuck.)
I saw that! I love that video, but I think Abe won
Chuck Norris once challenged his reflection to a staring contest... And won
There was once an idea to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, it didn't go so well because Chuck Norris doesn't take 💩 from anyone
Chuck Norris once caught a blue whale while fly fishing.
Chuck Norris doesn't laugh in the face of danger. He roundhouse kicks it and it becomes the face of fear.
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris died 500 years ago. Death still doesn't have the balls to tell him.
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using a 2 of clubs, a "get out of jail free" card from Monopoly, a coupon from Walmart, a late pass from school and a {Vizzedrix}.
Chuck Norris is so good at pool that the balls go into the hole before he hits them.
Chuck Norris doesn't swim in water, water just naturally wants to be around him
I got a puppy, named her "Chuck Norris", because Chuck Norris is a little bitch.
- Liam Neeson
If chuck Norris ever had to fight chuck Norris in another dimension he'd run away because even he knows not to f&@k with chuck norris
Chuck Norris was born May 6,1945. The Nazis surrendered May 7, 1945. Coincidence?
Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.