Touchy Subject #3 Everybody Is Special *NSFW

Ok, I say this is #3 because I started this "Touchy Subjects" topic as my thing, and I want to keep it that way.  So the next one I post will be #4.

Oh my God, I have riden down many streets, and almost every car in front of me has a sticker that says, "My child is *Special!"

*Insert here involving honor roll, accepted into..., was a part of.. Etc...


Is it a positive effect build our children up like this?  Having those t-ball games where everyone is a winner, building up their expectancies in life, etc...

Please post below you know the rules by now, have fun, I will post later, blah blah blah.

Do the 3 not yours don't count? Otherwise, it is bad. It can make other children feel REALLY depressed, and make another arrogant and expectant. That's my view in a nutshell.

Do the 3 not yours don't count? Otherwise, it is bad. It can make other children feel REALLY depressed, and make another arrogant and expectant. That's my view in a nutshell.

I will post mine in the order I post them regardless of what others post.

I know I said I would stay out of this, but trust me when I say, not many children are not called special by their parents. 

Do the 3 not yours don't count? Otherwise, it is bad. It can make other children feel REALLY depressed, and make another arrogant and expectant. That's my view in a nutshell.

No, this is your view in a nutshell,
'AAAHHH I CANT VIEW ANYTHING, IM IN A NUTSHELL'😂😂😂

😑

Hehehehe

Providing a nurturing environment is essential the proper growth of anything.

Check out the film: "What the @!#? Do we Know?"

It's a documentary that takes a look at quantum physics.

In a specific chapter they go over an experiment done with water molecules as they into solids (ice).

The water fed positive reinforcement formed its molecules together in beautiful harmony of mini snowflakes(mandalas) while the molecules that formed while being fed negative "energy" ended up forming in abrasive and non unified structure.

Now why is this significant to this topic? Feeding positivity is essential to growth.

I work with a charity foundation for Down's Syndrome, and I can see the effects of constant attention and care to the founder's son with Down syndrome. He is aware of those around him even though he cannot communicate directly, his development has been warp-sped due to the extra care going into his growth (constant nanny, company with learning stimulation and positivity).

So in conclusion, I feel it is necessary to view yourself and your loved ones as special. Positive enforcement will have much better effect than negative.

You can put down Fight Club now 😆

Is it a positive effect build our children up like this?  Having those t-ball games where everyone is a winner, building up their expectancies in life, etc...

They actually say that if you do this your child could grow up to be cocky and expect to win everything, they say to tell the child they lost every now and then

I hate it. It makes the people of the world narcissistic little b i t c h e s.

I mean..shouldn't we strive to make everyone feel good and positive about themselves? The prospect of existence and everyone's impending death are gruesome enough. I don't see a problem with empowering children with positive self-esteem, which will likely be bullied out of them anyway.

Making sure your kid is happy and leading a fulfilling life is all well and good, but hen your kid starts to be a little punk bitch is when it's too much. Sure, promoting positive growth is great, bilut letting them expect it is not. If someone leads a life expecting everyone to like them, give them things, never fail anything, then they'll be a very depressed adult. 

For the most part, I think positive influence is better than punishment for every little action, but that positive can ver quickly become a negative.

Ok, let me dive in with a story.

I saw a kid with his dad who was roughly 5 outside of a Harris Teeter. The kid yelled at his dad because he yelled, "He won the t-ball game and he deserved the biggest frapachino they had at Starbucks, not the grande.  That he hated his dad for not buying the biggest size."

My God.  I literally ran up to that dad as he was on his way inside the Harris Teeter without his child.  I struck up a conversation with him, and asked why he looked so depressed.  He said and I quote, "My kid just did something remeadial, now I have to go buy him his favorite thing.  Money is tight so I got a size smaller, and he threw it at me.  He said he hated me."  he looked like he failed his son.  I promptly told him that a spanking never hurt anyone's character.  That his kid shouldn't expect so much, and that they should praise him so much.  We exchange phone numbers, and we talk from time to time.

He has sent me a gift on $100 dollars recently for helping him that day.  I sent it back, because his money was still tight, blah blah blah.

The point is all that building up with positive rienforcement, and instead of punishment you say, "use your words".  It is making our kids assholes and bitches. 

Sure every now and then, you tell your kid they did a good job.  But you don't overdo it.  If you have a child who wants to be a professional basketball player, and they suck, what do you do.  You don't tell them that they are amazing forever.  Because guess what, that child grows up, tries his hand at basketball as his sole carrier.  And fails miserably because he always thought he was amazing so he never attempted to get better.

Sure it is exaggerated, but you get the point.

I grew up in a fairly good household, I was Christian raised and as a kid I usually got whatever I had asked for (birthdays and Christmas etc...).  And to be perfectly honest, I took a lot of it for granted.  My parents always got me some of the nicest things.  I had a ps1 and 2 I had every gameboy.  And I must admit that I got a little spoiled.  Now I'm a pretty smart kid, and I always did good on tests and such in high school, but I never did homework.  I would pay attention in class enough to understand the information, but I didn't feel I needed to show that I understood it by doing homework every day.  So eventually I started failing a lot of classes because homework was worth 40-60% of the grade. (Which is still total bull$&@# in my opinion). After talking with several teachers, counselors and my parents, we decided dropping out was the best idea, get my GED and start over in college.  So that's what I did, got my GED and sat on my ass for 2 years.  I didn't work, all I would do is little chores and play video games and such.  After 2 years my father literally told me if I didn't get a job and start going to school he would kick me out.  That, was my wake up call.  I am a spoiled kid, I did have too much given to me, but at the same time a good kick in the ass is all any child needs to get back on the right track.  So I know this has gotten a little off topic, but I feel kids shouldn't be babied too much or you do end up with a problem.  I was a problem, I was babied, I was spoiled, but now I'm on my feet.  So I think the everybody wins thing is a very bad idea, but still easily fixed if done right.

Why does everyone feel like the way children are taught to be positive, reassured and "babied" leads to them acting exactly the same as adults? I would venture to say that they outgrow most of those behaviors the same way they outgrow aggressive behavior or bullying.

Conversely, children that are raised by macho men that think violence is a way of testing toughness, and that little boys are pussies if they can't "win" a baseball game don't always end that way either.

I don't see the evidence that a child who is positively reassured and told that they're a winner translates to an adult that has unrealistic expectations of life, cannot hold a job, and other suspicious anecdotal ideas one may have.

That's all of the potential negatives. How about a generation of compassionate, understanding, non-violent people interested in the flourishing of others? How about people with fulfilling lives that don't seek to conquer others because of the unfounded belief that it produces a society of winners?

Isn't it more unrealistic to believe that teaching children they're not special, that they cannot aspire to anything more then just being a cog in a machine that will eventually crush them? Where are we going with this whole thing?

Deterministic factors are going to creep in anyway, regardless of how you raise your kids. You're likely to raise your kids the way you were raised